ac Page 618 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Zlatan Red-Carded For Slapping Opponent’s Head
When a European soccer star moves to the United States for the twilight of his career, it’s only a matter of time before he’s involved in one of two hilarious incidents: He oversells an injury or gets a red card for a stupid reason. Today, Zlatan Ibrahimović did both on the same play!...
Saquon Barkley Might Be Worth It, If The Giants Take A Page From The Patriots
We all had a good time dunking on Giants GM Dave Gettleman a few weeks back, after Gettleman didn’t hesitate to draft running back Saquon Barkley before shaking his cane at all the analytics eggheads who questioned the long-term value of selecting a running back with the No. 2 overall pick. It’s tru...
Reports: WWE SmackDown Will Move To Fox Next Year
Multiple reports say WWE has agreed in principle to an agreement that will bring WWE SmackDown Live to Fox starting in October 2019. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Fox will pay $1 billion for five years....
The Preakness Was A Foggy, Muddy, Wonderful Mess
The Preakness, held Saturday at Maryland’s Pimlico Race Course, fucking ruled! The race itself was fine: the favorite won; the favorite was also the horse that won the Kentucky Derby; therefore the actual Preakness Stakes did the job of getting the broader non-gambling world through May with reason ...
Justify Wins Preakness Stakes, Allegedly
Prohibitive favorite Justify claimed the second leg of this year’s Triple Crown as the Kentucky Derby winner seized the Preakness Stakes in a time of 1:55.93, supposedly, we’ll have to take their word for it....
Georgia High School Tennis Players Punished After Posing With White Bags Over Their Heads
White tennis players from Telfair County High School in Georgia have been punished for posing for a photo in which they wore white bags over their heads with the eyes cut out. The photo, which was taken on Snapchat and then distributed on Facebook in the days after the tennis tournament, was taken a...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is The Idiot Racist Lawyer Sprinting Away From News Cameras
Aaron Schlossberg, the New York City lawyer who was caught on video dressing down restaurant employees for speaking Spanish and threatening to call U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement on them because he believed they were undocumented, is having a rough time since activist Shaun King released t...
North Carolina's Rural Teachers Are Ready To Be Heard
The North Carolina General Assembly will reconvene in Raleigh on Wednesday for a short session dedicated to hashing out the final state budget. Joining them in the state capitol will be a flood of frustrated public school teachers from across the state, all of them on a mission to force the General ...
It Appears The Kings, Who Always Screw Up, Can't Possibly Screw This Up
For what feels like the first time in recent franchise history, the Sacramento Kings got lucky. The Kings briefly held the reins in the NBA’s greatest-ever tank-off last season, but they were soundly out-tanked over the stretch run, and wound up finishing with the lottery’s seventh-best odds after e...
Karolina Pliskova Unleashes Rage Upon Umpire's Chair
Forget the weak beeves you’ve been served in the past, all the gristly cheap stuff, and ready your palate for Grade-A Tennis Beef. Well-bred cows were fed only foraged wild grasses and massaged six to eight times daily to produce beef of this lusciously marbled quality. Appreciate it....
Report: Trump-Signed Alabama Football Caused White House Drama, And Now Nobody Knows Where It Is
In a performance that had many praising its avant-garde catchphrase stylings, President Trump welcomed the national champion Alabama Crimson Tide football team to the White House last month and proceeded to speak for approximately three hours about, I assume, how he’s actually glad he didn’t win the...
I Have A Very Good Idea That Will Fix Everything Wrong With American Pro Sports
Because we are not fools, we can all agree that there are two major problems currently plaguing, to various degrees, the four major sports leagues in North America: tanking and games that start way too damn late. I can fix this....
A.J. Pollock Smashed His Thumb On What Wound Up Being An Inside-The-Park Homer
A.J. Pollock has been among the top National League players in WAR for much of this young season, but he also just cannot catch a break. In the ninth inning of the Diamondbacks’ 7-2 loss to the Brewers Monday, the outfielder laid the hell out for a Tyler Saladino line drive that turned into an insid...
The Israeli Soccer Team Renamed After Donald Trump Has A History Of Open Racism Against Arabs
Beitar Jerusalem received some press Sunday when the Israeli soccer club announced that it would change its name to “Beitar Trump Jerusalem” as a gesture of appreciation for President Donald Trump for moving the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem. (Today, Trump’s daughter Ivanka and son-in-law Jared Kushner ...
Steven Souza Appreciates Mothers
Diamondbacks outfielder Steven Souza was mic’d up during yesterday’s game against the Nationals, and that was good news for anyone who likes their baseball accompanied by wry commentary....
Jorge Linares Beat Vasiliy Lomachenko, Right Up Until He Didn't
Jorge Linares is a flashy, creative athletic freak who has, over a period of many years and much pain, been pushed into the mold of a textbook boxer, like a wild, raging river channeled into an orderly canal. Thus he possesses both the physical gifts of the freak and the carefulness of the technicia...
Why Aren't NFL Safeties Getting Signed?
Eric Reid’s collusion grievance has been in the news, but Reid’s specific situation has overshadowed a rather curious offseason phenomenon involving him and his entire position group: NFL teams aren’t keen on signing free-agent safeties....
Jay Bruce Apparently Celebrated Being Traded Away From The Mets By Conceiving A Child<em></em>
The New York Mets, a team that began the season 11-1, lost their ninth game of their last 11 in Philadelphia on Sunday afternoon. Ace Noah Syndergaard, who was scheduled to start Saturday’s rained-out game against the Phillies, was skipped for reasons vague enough to be weird. Less-hairy co-ace Jaco...
Dwane Casey Thanks Raptors Fans For Being Canadian
It sucks that the Raptors fired Dwane Casey. They probably had to do it—they’ve lost like a hundred straight playoff games to LeBron James, and the systemic and cultural changes Casey engineered this past season made not even the slightest dent in James’s dominance, and they can’t any longer credibl...