ac Page 698 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?<em></em><em></em>
Deadspin’s Christmas Day tradition returns. It is time to sound the depths of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits. Below are the strangest, most awkwardly shaped, and least pleasant objects that America has shoved into its various holes. God bless us, eve...

Arizona Beats Seattle After Steven Hauschka Misses Extra Point<em></em>
Seattle lost an important game for their playoff seeding after Steven Hauschka missed the would-be go-ahead extra point and Arizona drove the field to kick a game-winning field goal on the final play of the game....

The Cleveland Browns Are 1-14
The Cleveland Browns beat the San Diego Chargers this afternoon, 20-17. Rejoice. ...

Dodgers' Twitter Account Hacked With Message About Upgrading Your Security
The Dodgers got an early Christmas present today in the form of a Twitter hack. OurMine—the collective that claimed responsibility earlier this week for hacking Netflix and NFL Network’s accounts, among others—appears to be the culprit....

Reports: BIG SAM BACK
Sky Sports and the BBC are reporting that the inevitable will soon be made official: Crystal Palace, a single day after canning Alan Pardew, will appoint former England manager (that really happened, right?) and relegation zone escape artist Sam Allardyce as their next manager....

Cleveland Goes After Dingers, Signs Edwin Encarnacion To Three-Year Deal
Free agent Edwin Encarnacion is headed to Cleveland, on a three-year contract for a reported $65 million with an option for a fourth season. ...

ESPN, Others Fall For Bogus Information About NFL Spring League
Late Thursday afternoon, SiriusXM NFL Radio tweeted the following:...

Your Thursday Night Football Giants-Eagles Simulation is LIVE!
CAN YOU HANDLE THE COLOR RUSH? Our Tecmo Super Bowl Giants-Eagles simulation is LIVE:...

Alan Pardew Sacked At Crystal Palace After Not Doing Jack Shit With Lots Of Money
After two years of up-and-down management of Crystal Palace (the “up” referring to his swashbuckling midseason heroism of his first few months at the club which brought the Eagles out of danger and led them to 10th place in the table, and the “down” the current campaign that has them teetering on th...

The NFL Season Is Just A Bunch Of Fashion Fines With Occasional Football Games
Sometimes it really does feel like the NFL is a company dedicated to punishment, with the occasional football game. Skins receiver DeSean Jackson revealed through Instagram Wednesday that he was fined for wearing customized cleats. Jackson argued that the shoes displayed his team colors, although th...

I Hope The Beef Between Meyers Leonard And DeMarcus Cousins Lasts Forever
DeMarcus Cousins dropped 55 points on Tuesday, but not before dropping a platter of hot beef on Meyers Leonard’s lap. In the decisive seconds of the fourth quarter, he spun his way into a pretty and-1, walked over to the Blazers bench and let some choice words and a mouthguard fall out of his mouth:...

George Karl: I Struggled Because My Players Didn't Have Good Dads
Longtime NBA head coach George Karl has written a book, titled Furious George, and in it he partakes in the time-honored and always-wack tradition of coaches talking shit about players they used to coach. (Or so we are told by the New York Post, which got its hands on a copy of the book.)...

Bayern Munich Player Passes Ball To Advertisement
Things move fast in the wild world of sport. Sometimes you just react to a flash of color. Bayern Munich’s Thiago Alcántara saw a man in red streaking down the pitch, thought to himself “I’m wearing red,” and passed him the ball....

Ty Montgomery Should Have Been A Running Back From The Start
The Packers aren’t bad anymore—they’re on the cusp of a wild card—and it’s in large part because they’ve finally figured out how best to use Ty Montgomery, a notional wide receiver who’s really been a running back all along....

Good News—Your Job Is Closed On Christmas
I just walked by a grocery store with a sign in the window saying they would be open until 6:30 p.m. on Christmas. Funny joke! If you’re an employee there, you should know that’s wrong—everything is closed on Christmas. ...

Report: CBA Has Exceptions So Harden And Westbrook Can Get Paid This Year
At first it appeared that the new CBA’s “Kevin Durant Rule,” which allows NBA teams to offer fatter contracts to keep their superstars from flirting with other options in free agency, would leave the Thunder and Rockets feeling like idiots. Last summer both teams just signed their cornerstones—Russ...

Hmmm, Yes, I Am Extremely Into This Game In Which 11,000 Penguins War With 4,000 Santas
Here we have a legitimately captivating video in which the makers of Epic Battle Simulator (video games are good) demonstrate what their game is capable of. This video is eight minutes long, and I watched the whole damn thing:...

DeMarcus Cousins Got Ejected, Then Un-Ejected
It was a busy Tuesday for DeMarcus Cousins. Fresh off a $50,000 fine for berating a Sacramento Bee columnist (for which he offered a notably lacking apology), Cousins went out, had a monster game, got ejected, got un-ejected, scored 55 points, led the Kings to a big win over the Blazers, and then ga...

Video Released<em></em> Of Michael Floyd Asleep At The Wheel Before His DUI Arrest
When former Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Michael Floyd was arrested on suspicion of DUI last week, police said they found him unconscious at the wheel of a running SUV. Today, the Scottsdale, Ariz., police department released video from the officers, showing them banging on the windows and saying...

DeMarcus Cousins Apologizes To Everyone Except The <i>Sacramento Bee</i>
A week after DeMarcus Cousins chewed out a Sacramento Bee columnist for writing about his brother—and three days after the Bee released video of the incident—the Kings center has reportedly been fined $50,000 by the NBA. He also released an apology heavy on public relations-speak: ...