ac Page 755 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ichiro Is The True Hit King And Pete Rose Can Eat Shit
Today, Ichiro Suzuki hit an eighth-inning double off of Fernando Rodney to the right field corner. He sent Giancarlo Stanton to third, and he trotted into second base easily, looking mildly annoyed more than anything before he briefly removed his batting helmet to salute the crowd. If you count his ...
Clayton Kershaw Walked A Guy, And It Was Bullshit
When we last checked in on Clayton Kershaw, we were marveling at his incomprehensible 22:1 strikeout-to-walk ratio, and wondering how long he would be able to maintain such an impossible level of excellence. Well, it’s been a month, and Kershaw’s strikeout-to-walk ratio is now 20:1, and so it’s offi...
The Struts Are Fucking Perfect
What are you doing right now? Are you working? Eating? Looking at your phone? I want you to forget all that shit…...
The Blackhawks Made Another Painful Trade
The Stanley Cup is barely parading through the streets of Pittsburgh and hot motherfuckin’ stove season is already underway. The Blackhawks are shipping Teuvo Teravainen (he’s good) and Bryan Bickell (he’s bad) to the Hurricanes in exchange for a 2016 second-round pick and 2017 third-round pick (tha...
German Club Unveils New Player Alongside Some Dude Wearing Mask Of Manager's Face
The guy on the right of this photo is Thomas Meggle, sporting director for German second division club St. Pauli. The guy in the middle is Marvin Ducksch, the team’s brand-new striker as announced just hours ago. The guy on the left, well, is not who he appears to be....
A Caucasian's Guide To Spades
Whether it is played in the back of a college cafeteria, at a bachelor party, or during a Black cookout—not a barbecue, because barbecues are different from “cookouts”—no activity solidifies the bonds of melanated people like a game of Spades. The internet will claim that Spades is a member of the “...
Deadspin Awards: Worst Mascot
The Deadspin Awards are in July—keep your eyes on this space to see how you can win tickets to the event—and we need our readers to decide the winners of these prestigious honors. Today, we ask you to vote on one of the most important of all questions: Who is the worst mascot of all?...
Phillies Rookie Pitcher Has Nightmare Debut, Is Chill
Last night, the Philadelphia Phillies handed to ball to rookie pitcher Zach Eflin, who had to make the first start of his big-league career against the Toronto Blue Jays. Eflin, age 22, was a first-round pick in the 2012 draft and posted a 2.90 ERA in 68 innings at Triple A this year. The Phillies a...
Let Us Introduce You To The Dankest Of All <i>Game Of Thrones</i> Theories
For all of the casual viewership and cultural ubiquity Game Of Thrones has achieved by being a show about “tits and dragons,” the show only works because of the writing. Almost everything about the plot is just goddamn preposterous, but it works because it’s anchored in characters having conversatio...
Just How In The Hell Did This Guy Not Crash?
For some reason, the Tour de Suisse decided that a good place to stick a finish line was 100 meters after a 90-degree corner. When Danny van Poppel tried to squeeze past Peter Sagan on the inside corner, he clipped wheels and was on course to eat shit into the barrier until he made a miraculous save...
Germany Manager Loves To Smell His Own Nether Regions
The above video, given the disgustingly appropriate title “Joachim Löw smells his balls and his ass during Germany vs Ukraine 2-0,” blew up this weekend because, well, it shows a grown man slipping his hands down the front and back of his pants and sniffing the offending fingers. Sadly, new evidence...
Zack Greinke, Chill Out, My Friend
Zack Greinke left the Dodgers for the huge pile of cash that the Arizona Diamondbacks offered him this offseason, and he tried to show out a bit when he hit what he probably believed to be a donger against his former team. He flipped a itty bitty bat flip to commemorate the occasion. Except, yeah, n...
Here Is A Child That Would Utterly Destroy You
You’ve probably gone through your life without ever once considering that there is a small child somewhere out there who could easily dispatch you in one-on-one combat. Well, get ready to do some considering, tough guy:...
So The USMNT Maybe, Might, Possibly Could Win The Copa América?
Heading into the Copa América Centenario, Jürgen Klinsmann placed the U.S.’s target on a spot in the semifinals. This sounded like a textbook managerial oversell. It was hard to imagine how the USMNT, in a tournament (of trumped-up importance or not) with teams like Argentina and Brazil and Colombia...
World Cup Host Country Jails Dutch Rape Victim On Adultery Charges
FIFA remains committed to hosting the 2022 World Cup in Qatar, where a projected 7,000 slaves will die in the process of constructing facilities funded by Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, and Anheuser-Busch. But the atrocious human rights situation in that country extends beyond the laborers shanghaied into b...
Study: Rio Olympics Will Expose Athletes To Antibiotics-Resistant Super Bacteria
Athletes and spectators at the Rio Olympics will be exposed to deadly, antibiotics-resistant super bacteria according to two research studies reviewed by Reuters....
It's Boogie Time
Steph Curry decided this week to skip the Olympics, and this afternoon, Russell Westbrook announced he’d do the same. Team USA was already short LaMarcus Aldridge, Anthony Davis, and Chris Paul, and they’ll need the remaining candidates to step up. Who will save Team USA?...
David De Gea Implicated In Criminal Case Against Accused Sex Trafficker
Today, Spanish paper El Diario released police documents they’ve acquired that implicate Manchester United goalkeeper David De Gea and Athletic Bilbao midfielder Iker Muniaín in the ongoing criminal investigations against Spanish pornographer Ignacio Allende Fernández....