ac Page 768 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Roadkill Crafts: A Squeamish Beginner's Guide
If I’m in your car, and we’re not in a hurry, chances are that at some point, I’m going to ask you to pull over so that I can solemnly poke a stick at a dead thing along the side of the road. If we’re in my car—which is usually equipped with nitrile gloves, hand sanitizer, and garbage bags—and the d...
The Other Curry Can Do Cool Basketball Shit Too
Tonight, the Sacramento Kings and Phoenix Su—oh, who gives a shit? Both Pacific Division trashcans are in the midst of a tank-off and the Kings coaching staff didn’t even know that Boogie Cousins wasn’t playing until they couldn’t find him on the plane....
Nigel de Jong Brought His Horror Tackles With Him To MLS
Nigel de Jong—who you might remember from the time he karate kicked Xabi Alonso in the chest during the World Cup Finals, or the time he broke Stuart Holden’s leg in a friendly, or the time he fractured Hatem Ben Arfa’s tibia and fibula, or all the other times he made violent tackles—now plies his t...
Master Poached Eggs And Never Go Hungry
Maybe you already know how to poach eggs. Perhaps you were inspired by my esteemed colleague Albert Burneko’s missive a few years ago, and now you’re pretty confident you can poach any old egg, no problem. (Note: always poach fresh, new eggs.) You feel a little smug about it, actually—waiting for un...
Boy, They Sure Killed The Shit Out Of Some Racehorses In England This Week
The Grand National in Liverpool, England, is a horse racing institution nearly 200 years in the making, full of pageantry, glitz, drama, and horses getting killed. That tradition continued this week, when the fortuitously named 33-to-1 shot Rule The World emerged triumphal in the featured race—“a fa...
Bruce Arians Is Fed Up With Moms' Extremely Sensible Safety Concerns
Moms, we need to talk about football, a very popular sport you may be harming. It is, in the words of one of its alleged coaching minds, “the best game that’s ever been fucking invented.” (Pardon the salty language, but I figure if you’re a parent you already appreciate the miracles that fucking bri...
Dale Jr.'s On Fire!
Hot, hot lug nuts sparked a fire in Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s pit midway through tonight’s race in Fort Worth, leading to a spectacular display of pyrotechnics that took crew members quite a bit of time to put out. The only thing hotter this week? Takes about Dale Jr.’s sandwich shilling....
NASCAR Invocation Features Prayer To Elect A Republican President
Unapologetic bigot Phil Robertson delivered the invocation before tonight’s NASCAR race in Texas, and it didn’t disappoint—if you were looking forward to the duck call industrialist to pray for “A Jesus man” to be elected president in November....
So Close, Mario
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...
High School Soccer Player Earns Two-Game Suspension For Sacking Opponent
Pine Forest (N.C.) High School keeper Cassie Sturtz earned a two-game suspension when she went Goldberg on an Pinecrest opponent late in her team’s 4-1 loss on Thursday....
Facebook Is All Sad Because No One Wants To Share With Them Anymore
You’re bored, so you stagger out onto a virtual stage under a searingly bright virtual spotlight, look out at your virtual audience, and see an alienating stew of every social group you’ve ever belonged to, with plenty of friends’ dads, former authority figures, ex-enemies, fleeting acquaintances, a...
Addison Russell Attempts Brutal Assault On Diamondbacks Mascot
Wow, this is quite rude. Chicago Cubs shortstop Addison Russell attempted to maim poor Diamondbacks mascot D. Baxter the Bobcat last night by flinging his bat into the stands. Thankfully Baxter is quick as a, uhh, bobcat, and managed to get out of the way. His attempt to threaten Russell in return d...
There Is An Even More Hidden Facebook Messages Folder
No, not the “Message Requests” folder, which was previously the Most Secret message folder hidden on Facebook—that’s old news. Even if it wasn’t, toggling between two headings under the messages icon is pretty intuitive, no? What we’re talking about is another other folder....
The Oilers Said A Lovely Goodbye To Rexall Place
Last night was the final Oilers game at Rexall Place, longer and better known (and carrying better memories) as Northlands Coliseum. It was the NHL’s second oldest arena, and not even old in that charming sort of way some of hockey’s venerable barns can pull off. It was a dump (which is its own sort...
Do You Have Sam Hinkie's Stupid 13-Page Resignation Letter? Give It.
Philadelphia 76ers GM Sam Hinkie resigned this evening, after 76ers ownership attempted to reduce his role even further and bring in additional front office executives....
No Losing Team Is As Fun Or As Intriguing As The Timberwolves
It would be an overreaction to last night’s overtime victory over the Warriors to proclaim that it heralds the Timberwolves’ arrival. It was just one game, after all, and the team is still just 26-52, the fifth-worst record in the NBA. It also remains to be seen how they deal with the organizational...
What Is The Best Non-Meat Sandwich Filling?
We had sandwiches for lunch at the office today, and they were all really delicious, except for the vegetarian options, which were frankly kind of weak and unsatisfying. Which got us to thinking—briefly—how to best construct a sandwich without meat....
Peanut Butter Is Your Salvation In a Jar
“This advice can be fatal,” wrote Dr. Henry J. Heimlich to the New York Times in 1981, protesting their suggestion to pregame with peanut butter to curb overeating. “We have records of persons choking to death after eating peanut butter off a spoon. The problem is that the thick substance becomes lo...
Reports: Phil Jackson Wants To Keep Kurt Rambis, Bring Plague And Pestilence To New York
If you have a New York Knicks fan in your life, go find them right now and give them a hug. Be there for them, and console them, but don’t tell them everything is going to be all right. It probably isn’t....