ac Page 805 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Surprise Military Reunions At NFL Games Reach Peak Bullshit
During last weekend’s preseason St. Louis Rams game, a familiar ritual played out: With a stadium full of fans and a television audience watching, Rams cheerleader Candace Ruocco Valentine was surprised by the arrival of her husband August Valentine, a Marine Corps first lieutenant, who had just ret...

A Unified Theory of Dusting
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Report: Bills GM "Went Rogue" In Cutting Fred Jackson
It didn’t come entirely as a surprise when the Bills released Fred Jackson on Sunday. Preseason rosters had be cut down by Tuesday, and the NFL’s oldest running back didn’t figure to pick up a lot of touches behind newly-acquired LeSean McCoy. Still, over his nine-year career in Buffalo Fred Jackson...

Rockies Turn Just About The Easiest Triple Play You'll Ever See
Triple plays are incredibly difficult to pull off. There needs to be at least two runners on base with no outs, a ball hit to precisely the right spot, and flawless execution from the fielders. Normally they occur about five times per season. ...

Deadspin 25: Marcus Mariota's Gone, But Oregon Can Still Be Fun
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...

The Six Best Teacher Gimmicks
Before we get to the Funbag, I gotta talk about how shitty this Will Smith concussion movie looks. I swear it got made strictly because Will Smith wanted to try out a new accent. It looks like 120 minutes of people warning Accent Will Smith about stuff....

Rob Manfred Kicks Shoeless Joe Jackson Back Into The Grave
The appointment of a new MLB commissioner is always a good time for certain special interest groups—spitball enthusiasts, Montreal baseball fans, Pete Rose truthers—to begin seeking favors. “Maybe,” they think, “the new commissioner will be more reasonable than the last!” This is presumably why the ...


Little Kid's Mind Blown Upon Realizing He's Standing Next To Wayne Rooney
“Doot-da-doo, just waiting to go out on the pitch with Ashley Williams. Man, this is pretty cool. Oops, ref coming through I better get out of the—wait a minute... is that... HOLY SCHNIKES!!!!” Here’s a Vine of lil dude’s happiest moment in life:...

Storm of Flying Hats Delays Blue Jays Game
The Blue Jays are in the process of putting a whooping down on the Rangers Tigers, led by Edwin Encarnacion and his nine RBIs. After his third homer, a grand slam to bring the score to 13-1 in the seventh inning, Jays fans delayed the game by throwing a bunch of hats all over the Rogers Centre groun...

Chelsea Shit The Bed Against Crystal Palace
For just the second time in 100 games under José Mourinho, Chelsea have lost at Stamford Bridge. We are just four weeks into the EPL season yet Chelsea already trail Manchester City by eight points after today’s 2-1 defeat to Crystal Palace. ...

Results Of Baylor Investigation: We Need Another Investigation
In reaction to one of its football players being convicted of sexually assaulting another student, Baylor announced it would investigate “the circumstances associated with this case.” Merely a week later, the university released results from the law professor-led investigation at 7 p.m. Central on a...

Tim Beckman Fired For Forcing Players To Play Through Injury
The University of Illinois just announced the firing of head football coach Tim Beckman after an external review into the coach’s conduct revealed him to have put his players at risk....

<i>Kickboxer </i>Is Even Sillier Than You Remember, And Even Better, Too
I’m pretty sure the first animated gif I ever saw was Jean-Claude Van Damme dancing in a Thai bar in Kickboxer. The image is the sort of thing that sticks with you: his khakis hiked up to a near-Urkel level, his spaghetti-strap tank top just barely managing to exist, his face contorted into what I g...

Marshall Henderson Is Joining The Sacramento Kings Circus
Marshall Henderson, crazy white person, is coming to the NBA to try and catch on with the league’s craziest team. Yahoo Sport’s Marc Spears reports that Henderson has signed a training camp deal with the Sacramento Kings:...

The ACC Sucks, But You Should Watch It Anyway
Welcome to our college football conference previews, in which we will tell you what you need to know about various conferences, with an emphasis on watchability. First up were the Pac-12, the SEC, and the Big 12. Now, the ACC....

Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Arizona Cardinals
Some people are fans of the Arizona Cardinals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Arizona Cardinals. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....

Reminder: Paul Goldschmidt Is Very Good
There’s a good chance you haven’t seen much of Diamondbacks first baseman Paul Goldschmidt over the last few seasons, despite the fact that he’s one of the best hitters in baseball. If Goldschmidt’s in your blindspot, don’t feel too bad, that’s just what happens when a guy plays in Arizona for a tea...

Holy Shit, Usain Bolt
Over the last couple of years, there’s been no reason to think Usain Bolt could be as dominant in Rio as he was in Beijing or London. He’ll turn 30 during those games, for one. For another, he sat out many of the big races since 2013, and lost a lot of time to nagging hamstring troubles last year. T...

<i>Mr. Robot </i>Telegraphed Its Punches And Knocked Us Out Anyway
The funniest thing about Mr. Robot, USA’s deeply unfunny and usually badass new sullen-hacker dystopian drama, is all the passwords, and how easy it is for a sullen hacker to crack them. Your hero is Elliot Alderson, who has crippling social anxiety and a black hoodie permanently grafted to his body...