ac Page 815 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
God Bless Patrick Kane, Beautiful Karaoke Moron
You should never make fun of people for singing karaoke poorly, because the whole point of karaoke is to get drunk and yell and cause ruckus. But I think it’s okay to poke fun at Chicago Blackhawks party boy Patrick Kane, who does something delightfully stupid at about the two-minute mark of this cl...
Report: Increasingly Desperate Kings Are Trying To Lure John Calipari
We didn’t think it was possible for the Sacramento Kings to become a bigger mess than they already are, and yet here’s a new report from Yahoo’s Adrian Wojnarowski, which pulls back the curtain on a spectacularly broken franchise....
Cosby Claims He's Not A Public Figure To Keep Embarrassing Docs Sealed
Bill Cosby, who has sold out arenas, who has been televised into millions of homes, who lectured America on the virtues of buckled pants, who has spoken at rally after rally, who has served on the board of trustees of a public university, claims he is not a public figure. Or rather, that’s the argum...
Cleancast: Meet The Mother-Daughter Professional Organizing Team
My guests this week on the official Ask a Clean Person podcast are the ladies of Done & Done NYC, a professional organizing and home staging company that mother-daughter team Ann Lightfoot and Kate Pawlowski founded four years ago. Their Operations Manager, Abby Lofberg — who has been Kate’s best fr...
Aaron Rodgers Is Bad At Swords
Aaron Rodgers has to work on his sword skills, man. They’re terrible. What’s he doing out there?...
MotoGP Racer Completes Miracle Save By Crossing Finish Line Sidesaddle
Yesterday’s Moto3 Dutch Grand Prix featured an unreal save by rider Niklas Ajo, as the Finn kept his KTM upright despite being tossed wildly off the track—and then crossed the finish line without actually being on the bike. This seems physically impossible:...
Suggestion: If Your Car Is On Fire, Pull Over
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IndyCar Race Did Not End Well For Ryan Briscoe, Who Went Airborne
Graham Rahal ended a long IndyCar winless streak today at Fontana in a thrilling race some attribute to new aero specifications, but the excitement likely didn’t extend to driver Ryan Briscoe who managed to escape serious injury after being flipped into a barrel roll on the final lap of the race....
This Is Not An Ideal Pit Stop
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US Track & Field Championships Simmering Til Done
Eugene, Ore., where the USA Track & Field National Championship is underway, is gripped in a heat wave. The steamy conditions produce a nice muscle-loosening affect on athletes whose events last less than 60 seconds, but it’s been less accommodating for the distance events. The preliminary rounds of...
President Obama Took Me To Church Today
My parents came of age in the ’60s and ’70s, and so they remember when blacks weren’t allowed to vote, and all the speeches and marches and blood that went into that fight, and all that came after. They did okay for themselves, got married, and moved out to the suburbs to do the whole American Dream...
Spain's Women's Team Is A Catastrophe, And It Doesn't Need To Be
In the week since the players for the Spanish women’s national team released their open letter requesting the firing of manager Ignacio Quereda, more and more has come to light about just how officious and reprehensible his leadership has been over the entirety of his 27 years in charge....
Tanzania's Goat Races Are Decadent And Depraved
Slumgoat Millionaire lost his first race at the Dar es Salaam Charity Goat Races. While the “owners” (sponsors, really) were standing in the corral at the center of the small racetrack, one of the MCs asked Slumgoat’s patron if he knew the rules....
Justin Gatlin Doesn't Owe You Anything
Imagine if David Ortiz were briefly suspended for doping in the minors, let off after it turned out that he had a convincing excuse, and then suspended again for four years after testing positive in November 2007, just after winning the World Series. Imagine that Papi came back a little rusty, but w...
<i>Hot Fuzz </i>Is The Ultra-Rare Action-Comedy That Doesn't Suck
I don’t know who came up with the idea of the action-comedy, but that person deserves our entire scorn. The genre, which flourished in the late ’80s and early ’90s, was built around the idea that a comedy wasn’t really a movie unless it had a shoddily edited car chase at the end. This was the sort o...
The Kings Are Such A Mess Right Now
Big question for tonight’s draft telecast: will ESPN cut away if news breaks that Sacramento’s owner, coach, and best player are all brawling in an alley?...
Fuck This Bear: <i>Ted 2</i>,<i> </i>Reviewed
1. How sincere is Sincere Seth MacFarlane? I know I’m a dope for even asking—associating a genuine emotion with such a sniggering clown is a sucker’s bet—but I really do want to know. Because Ted 2 has moments, lots of moments, that it seems to play completely straight, as if we are watching an actu...
Teenaged Red Sox Fan Somehow Not Garbage
Three things that are shit: Teenagers, Red Sox fans, and the city of Boston, a trash town that belongs in the dumpster. So I’m not entirely sure what to make of this:...
Laundry School Is Now In Session
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....