ac Page 966 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"Sweat Is Just Your Fat Crying," Says Weird Sign In Alabama Weight Room
That's it, we've officially run out of motivational slogans to slap on the walls of places where college athletes congregate. The day that this sign was hung up in the University of Alabama football team's weight room is the day that someone should have taken a step back and said, "You know what, m...

Tyreke Evans Tries To Troll Dwyane Wade, Embarrasses Himself Instead
In a game that nobody expected to be as entertaining as it was, the Miami Heat pulled out a 141-129 double-overtime victory against the Sacramento Kings last night. The Kings should be proud of how well they hung with the Heat before getting demolished by an angry LeBron James, but they shouldn't ...

One Of The Brewers' Racing Sausages Is Missing
Disaster in Milwaukee: Guido the Italian Sausage, pictured above to the far left, was last seen barhopping in a local suburb the weekend before last, only it's not clear who was wearing the $3,000 costume or where it went....

Struggling Wisconsin Player Resorts To Jumpshot Free Throws
There was a time when Wisconsin guard/forward Ryan Evans wasn't the sort of shooter who'd have trouble standing on a dock and tossing a ball into Lake Mendota. He shot 73 percent from the line last year, 81 percent in conference play. But the yips overtook him this season, and going into last nigh...

Stephen Curry Pulls Off Two Sublime Crossovers, Is Brilliant
With respect to the shoving party that spilled into the first row, the most entertaining thing about last night's Warriors-Pacers game was Stephen Curry crossing up his opponents with extreme prejudice. His first victim was George Hill, whose valiant attempt to play good transition defense ended w...

Hockey Coach Jailed For Tripping 13-Year-Old In Handshake Line
Chalk this up as a vote for hockey dads as the worst parents in sports; Martin Tremblay of Vancouver will serve 15 days in jail for assault, for an incident in which he tripped an opposing player after his son's youth hockey game....

Brawl Breaks Out In Warriors-Pacers Game After Roy Hibbert Goes On A Shovin' Spree
Violence erupted in the fourth quarter of tonight's Warriors-Pacers game in Indianapolis after David Lee, Stephen Curry, Klay Thompson, David West, and Roy Hibbert got into a massive rumble that carried itself into the seating sections and resulted in Hibbert's ejection....

Your <em>Slightly</em> Early Oscar Predictions For 2014
The only thing we know for certain about next year's Oscars is that: a) Seth MacFarlane won't be hosting them, and b) It's pretty stupid to be talking about them already. But being stupid has never stopped me before....

Actually, Tom Brady Is Getting A Raise
When the Patriots leaked news of Tom Brady's "three-year, $27 million" contract extension, it appeared on the face the rare instance of an athlete taking less money to make his team more competitive. We warned you that appearances can be deceiving, but without the actual contract details we were lim...

Oscar Pistorius "Wants To Get On With His Life," May Ask For Relaxed Bail Conditions
On Friday, Oscar Pistorius was freed on bail as he awaits trial for the murder of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp. Though the magistrate did not judge him a flight risk, despite offshore bank accounts and access to a home in Italy, he was required to turn in his passport, and to check in regularly w...

Don't Look Now, But The NHL's Best Hockey Is Out West
You could be forgiven for feeling a twinge of nostalgia for the Western Conference yesterday, after news emerged that the NHL is nearing an agreement on radical realignment. The new setup is better almost every way: less travel, more geographic rivalries, the chance for every team to host every othe...

Junior College Basketball Team Punished Because School President Bailed A Player Out Of Jail
Folks in Iowa call the basketball rivalry between Indian Hills Community College and Southeastern Community College the "War on 34," a reference to the U.S. highway that connects the two schools. On Feb. 16, Indian Hills won on the road at Southeastern to sweep the season series. The game went to ...

Jose Canseco's Oscar Night Tweets, Illustrated
We've long believed Jose Canseco's Twitter account to have transcended his Earthly realm. (In other words, it's possible somebody else is doing most of the tweeting.) That doesn't mean those tweets aren't still occasionally funny when provided with some context. Here, then, is what Jose Canseco was...

Tom Brady Signs With The Patriots For <em>Well</em> Under Market Value, But There's A Catch
Peter King has the details: Tom Brady has signed a three-year contract extension with the Patriots that will run through the 2017 season, when he will be 40 years old. More than basically cementing Brady as a Patriot for life, the deal's a huge coup for New England—Brady is taking much less money th...

FYI: Tackling A Streaker May Result In A Face Full Of Balls And Ass
And we all have Ruben Wiki, a trainer for the New Zealand Warriors and a former rugby player, to thank for the helpful demonstration, captured here by the Otago Daily Times of Dunedin, NZ. A naked man had dashed across the pitch during halftime of Saturday's National Rugby League trial game between ...

The Sports Fan: What I Learned From Three Days Of Watching Baseball With Bill Murray
In 1990, Peter Richmond spent three days with Bill Murray in Chicago, eating and drinking and watching ballgames at Wrigley Field. He wrote about the experience for The National Sports Daily. His story was recently republished on Bronx Banter and appears here with permission....

Sandra Bullock Should Take Up Weightlifting
Sandra Bullock had some trouble opening the envelope for Best Editing last night, and perhaps she might avoid such embarrassing circumstances in the future if she starts a weightlifting regimen. After all, she's already got the liftface down pat....

Seth MacFarlane Wasn't The Worst Oscar Host Ever: In Defense Of A Boob
For Seth MacFarlane's critics, Sunday night was supposed to be the moment we finally got to see the guy get his comeuppance. A "billion" viewers around the world, one of the most prestigious gigs in all of entertainment: As Oscar host, this was his chance to justify his swiftly, perhaps inexplicably...

Will Bynum Suspended One Game For Punching Tyler Hansbrough
What do you do when you want to take a swing at a guy nine inches taller? Do what Will Bynum did and slug Tyler Hansbrough in the gut. Pow. Not so tall now, is he?...

Non-English Team Wins English Cup
Today, Welsh soccer club Swansea City beat down Bradford City 5-0 to take home the Football League Cup, a biggish, semi-relevant tournament held in England every year....