acl Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

When Life Imitates Art
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...

No Isiah, They Aren't Saying Boo-urns
It's not easy making the Philadelphia 76ers look good, but Isiah's Knicks do it with aplomb. I don't want to say that New York's starters aren't any good, but seeing as how they combined to score 25 points my hands are tied. New York's starters fucking suck (but Q's cool). Nate "Awww" Robinson manag...

Plucky Wizards Can't Hang With the Suns
The Washington Wizards have played better than expected since the loss of Gilbert Arenas, but there wasn't much of anything they could do to stop Phoenix. The Suns recorded a flat-out ridiculous 42 assists on their 50 field goals. If I hadn't been there to see it I'm not sure I would have believed i...

The Armadillo Cowboy, Know Thy Name
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or throwing out pork chops, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...

All For Naught
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Huzzah!...

EVERY GAME I RECAP IS IMPORTANT!
The NBA Closer is now written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jo— WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, FALL BACK, BLOGGER! FALL. BACK. IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT A RESPECTED JOURNALIST, SUCH AS MYSELF, DO THIS POST SOME GOOD! SO W...

Warriors Vs. Road Warriors
The NBA Closer is now written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy....

Grant Hill Drinks Prune Juice
The NBA Closer is now being written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. Enjoy....

Hornets Cancel Dallas' Dynasty
Nobody can quite explain why the Hornets franchise has been unable to beat the Dallas Mavericks since 1999. Experts agree one factor might be that in those games, the Hornets were unable to score more points than the Mavericks. Others blame global warming. Others still claim that last night the Horn...

Lou Holtz - 60 Years = Jason Krause
Last night, Lou Holtz broke ground on his little game of Dress-Up by crossing borders to The Association and giving a pep talk to the Knicks as if he were Isiah Thomas ... wearing a Knicks jersey. It might not be too far-fetched if something in Thomas's cortex snapped and he wore a Knickerjersey on ...

Oh, This Is Just Sad
So it's at this point in the Knicks' season where we hear the band leader say "Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure and an honor playing with you," and then, as the ship creaks and begins its slow descent into the sea, they play the final hymn of "Nearer My God to Thee." (Later Fred Jones will be found f...

The Cavaliers Do Not Have Hand
I'll admit up front that I probably don't know what I'm talking about with this LeBron finger injury thing. The Cavaliers have a staff of trainers with many small medical items clipped to their belts and handsome framed certificates at home, and I still use Flintstones band-aids. But what the hell.....

Yep, It's Still Big News When The Celtics Lose
A big deal is being made of LeBron's efforts in Cleveland's overtime win over Boston on Tuesday; he's front and center on all of the major sports news sites this morning. Of course LeBron was instrumental in the 109-104 victory — only the Celtics' second loss of the season. But Drew Gooden was was b...

It's The End Times, People!
Not sure exactly what's going on, but just to be sure that God isn't up to some sort of Armageddon-like shenanigans, if you need me I'll be in a sealed grotto at the zoo. The Warriors — whom I believe began the season 0-6 — trounced the Suns on Monday, but that's not the big news. The Knicks have no...

And A Kidd Shall Lead Them
Was it just a few short months ago that Jason Kidd was practically a Los Angeles Laker? Just about everyone called it, then had to redact. Too bad. Instead of one great team (LA), we now have two mediocre ones. Bryant scored 31 points (on 7-of-31 shooting) for the Lakers, and Kidd had 15 points, 14 ...

Jesus And Leprechauns
• He Got Clutch. How in the world does Boston keep pulling off these ridiculous wins? Wait! Don't answer that. I don't want to know. Ray Allen nailed a deep 3 at the buzzer after Eddie House — Eddie House! — knocked away Jason Richardson's inbounds pass to give Boston the 96-95 win, their third stra...

A Little Left In The Big Tank
• Some Country For Old Men. I have no idea which Heat scrub cranked up Shaquille O'Neal last night — Chris Quinn maybe? — but whoever it was sure had that sucker wound tight. The Big Everything had season highs of 26 points and 14 rebounds, his best game in what feels like years, as the Heat handed ...

Somebody Stop This Fight (But Don't, Please)
Hey, here was something that Isiah hadn't tried: On Monday, disgusted with what he said was a lack of effort, he threw his entire team out of practice. The results on Tuesday were sparkling, as visiting Golden State beat the Knicks 108-82. The wheels have flown off of this bus, folks, and they're dr...

New Jersey Nets Basketball: Don't Stop Believ —
A lot has been made of the New York Knicks' woes, and rightfully so. But what of the New Jersey Nets? Monday's 102-75 loss to the Jazz was the Nets' sixth straight. I'm only glad that Tony Soprano didn't live to see this....

Isiah Death Watch Begins Tonight At Midnight. Please Reset Your Clocks
Wasn't it former Lions coach Wayne Fontes who earned the nickname Rasputin for his ability to take a beating and never die? Fontes came so close to the precipice so many times without actually falling over that he began to brag that he would never be fired. Oops. We don't hear about Wayne much these...