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Your Worst Nightmare: Shark Tank Breaks, Sharks Flood Mall

This went down in Shanghai last week, at a shopping center that happened to have a decorative aquarium in the lobby. The tank cracked, then shattered, sending water and fish and turtles and three lemon sharks flooding onto visitors. It's like that scene from Jaws 3-D which no one saw so I don't kn...

Scott Mitchell Is Not Happy About The Fact That Lomas Brown Let Him Get Injured In 1994

Last week, we told you about former Lions offensive tackle and current ESPN NFL analyst Lomas Brown admitting to intentionally blowing a block in the hopes that his team's quarterback, Scott Mitchell, would be knocked out of the game with an injury. Brown's plan worked. Mitchell left the game with ...

Deadspin's 2012 Long Reads: Everything We Wrote That You Didn't Have Time To Read

We aren't just dick jokes and cock shots. We also do our best to publish as much quality longform sports journalism as we can. Here are the best longish stories we published this year, many of which you probably didn't have time to read the first time around....

The 25 Most Stilted, Cringe-Inducing Athlete TV Cameos Of 2012 (Featuring Ryan Lochte The Sex Idiot)

2012 was a big year for athletes appearing on the little screen. Below are notes and grades for these 25 guest turns:...

Tuesday Night Fights: Lady Sees Lady Hitting On Her Fella At Rap-Video Shoot, Takes Corrective Action

Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Girl Goes Into Party to Fight," aka "best FIGHT on youtube." Tonight's commentator: Brawlotographer Zack Yutzey, whose filmography can be viewed via YouTube....

Deadspin Up All Night: Christmas Rappin'

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Enjoy the rest of your Christmas/NBA game marathon, you lovely people....

Merry Christmas, Parts Of A Chad Johnson Sex Tape Hit The Internet Today [NSFW]

Unemployed NFL wide receiver and reality TV meme Chad Johnson has a sex tape, obviously, and parts of it are now on the Internet. Here's the description, from WorldStarHipHop:...

Michael Vick Is Starting For The Eagles Again

A few weeks ago, Andy Reid named Nick Foles the new Philadelphia Eagles' starting quarterback, replacing Michael Vick, the $100 million quarterback. Due to Foles breaking his hand this past Sunday, Vick will be starting again in the Eagles' final game against the New York Giants....

Who Is The Most Masturbated-To Woman In History?

I just recently got a Christmas card from Drew and his family and I have to say: Is there any bigger fucking waste of time, energy, and paper than a Christmas card? I understand why people used to do it before Facebook existed, but currently, if someone has a baby, not a day goes by that a photo of ...

The Only "Athletes Sing Christmas Carols" Video That Matters: Sheed Remixing Jingle Bells

Oh, you've never seen the Pistons singing "Jingle Bells" circa 2006? Get out of my face....

"Buster Olney U So Full A Shit": The Year In Great, Terrible, And Deeply Weird Tweets From The World Of Sports

2012 offered many windows into the athlete soul, but none were larger or more revealing than the unfiltered weirdness that came from their screwy social media presences. Here are our favorites, from Cardale Jones delicately explaining that he wasn't recruited to Ohio State for his academic prowess, ...

Your NBA Christmas Day Spectacular Open Thread

Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, you can still celebrate five NBA games on Dec. 25! Unless you don't like basketball. In that case, you're probably low on reasons....

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?

As in past years, the Sun Sentinel has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. ...

Deadspin Up All Night: It Was Christmas Eve, Babe, In The Drunk Tank

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Craggs shot our wad on the Pogues a couple weeks back, but, come on, you'd rather a repeat song than WHAM's "Last Christmas," right? I hope so. Merry Christmases to all. Isaac and Samer and others will be around tomorrow to wish you happy basketbal...

A Cardboard Cutout Of Joe Paterno Is Still Selling You Bread At A Grocery Store In Pennsylvania

Glen Rock, Pa. is about 127 miles south of State College, and immeasurably farther away from everything else going on in the world, apparently. Reader Mark sent us this photo today from Wetzel's Shurfine. It captures a more innocent moment long ago, back when Joe Paterno was just "Head Football Coac...

The Meaning Of Ryan Freel's "9 Or 10" Concussions

Ryan Freel was "tough." In baseball parlance, that means hustling on every pitch, giving up your body to make the play. These types of players are celebrated, of course. In August 2006, the Cincinnati Enquirer paid tribute to just the latest example of Freel's toughness, a diving catch on the warnin...

The dynasty ain't dead yet: Michael Vick will get one more start for the Eagles....

EXCLUSIVE: Could This Be Chris Paul’s Secret Twin Brother?

In a storyline more suited for a Lifetime movie than an All-Star, it looks like Chris Paul might have a twin brother he never knew existed....

The Sports Video Games Of The Year

Rarely considered for overall video-game-of-the-year honors, the uncommon diversity of sports video games, and the unique demands placed on them to recreate both a real-world sport and the real-life experiences associated with it, support their own class of awards more than any other genre. These ar...

Here's R.A Dickey's Farewell Letter, In Case Any Mets Fans Were In The Mood For A Good Cry

R.A. Dickey wrote a farewell letter to Mets fans this weekend, just as they always dreamed he would (it's in the Daily News instead of under their pillows, but you take what you can get), in which he thanked everyone from his old teammates to the head groundskeeper at Citi Field....