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Ryan Howard Broke His Toe By Dropping His Warm-Up Bat On It In The On-Deck Circle
The Phillies have had a pretty miserable year, but it hasn't been outlandishly miserable. In their division, the Mets have more histrionic fans and suffered a worse collapse. In their state, the Pirates had a historically sad season that culminated in getting blanked last night by Homer Bailey. But ...

Desmond Howard Talked About "Beaver Juice" This Morning On <em>College GameDay</em>
Please do not discuss beaver juice. Anywhere. Desmond Howard elected to do exactly that this morning, and here's what happens. (Also, remix!)...

Your College Football Open Thread
Our game of the morning is probably Baylor at West Virginia, though our shame expert (aren't we all, in some sense, shame experts?) told us to be on the lookout for a potential "DOUBLE trap game" in the N.C. State vs. U. of Miami game. Also look out for Penn State at Illinois, because Illinois may h...

How To Make Chili: A Guide For People Who Aren't Anti-Bean Zealots Or Elitist Scum
It's weird that we fight about chili. ...

Your Week Five College Football Master Schedule
Schedule and broadcasters via and cross-referenced with. If you spot any errors, let us know below. Conferences reflect home teams. Ranked teams bold; rankings from the USA Today Coaches Poll. Times (EST)....

Ostensible Adult Kevin Garnett Deleted Ray Allen's Phone Number When He Left For The Heat
We already knew Kevin Garnett was passionate—which is to say, basically crazy—and it undoubtedly hurts to see your teammate essentially give up on your team, publicly and in favor of a rival. What happened to Ubuntu? What happened to...(*sniff*)...us?...

Deadspin Up All Night: Say Hello To Never
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Your usual crew of Tim, Sam, Isaac, and Sean will be on duty to keep you informed and entertained this weekend. Do drop by. And have a good one....

Dead Letters: "NO ONE CARES About Your Gay Mouth Munching Of Cookies"
Subject: YOUR NEWS IS SO FAR LEFT LEANING I CAN’T MAKE MYSELF READ IT. BETTER STOP WITH THE KOOLAID...

Jason Babin Is Rational About Rivalries: "I Don’t Use The Word 'Hate' Unless We’re Talking About Terrorists"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: It's just football, people!...

Washington Huskies Defensive Coordinator Justin Wilcox Finds Good Defense To Be A Turn-On
Washington upset the eighth-ranked Stanford Cardinal 17-13 last night in Seattle, leading to a field-rushing and a top moment in the still-evolving career of Steve Sarkisian. The defensive battle (neither team found the end zone until the second half) was, apparently, a point of pride for Huskies ...

Tennis Coach Mic'd Up For Live Broadcast Drops Deliberate F-Bomb
During a medical timeout in Nadia Petrova's Pan Pacific Open semifinal match against Samantha Stosur in Tokyo, the broadcast team threw it down to Petrova's coach, Ricardo Sanchez, who was wearing a microphone. Within seconds, Sanchez trolled everybody....

Hooking Up At Night In Central Park Is Every Bit As Foolish As You'd Expect
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

When Good Statistics Go Bad: The Case Against The Case Against R.A. Dickey
R.A. Dickey, objectively speaking, is the greatest human being in history. His knuckleball destroys cities and he climbed a huge fucking mountain. But should he win the Cy Young Award?...

Keegan Bradley's Putt At The Ryder Cup Inspired Much Joy And An Awesome Caddy Celebration
This morning, American Ryder Cup teammates Keegan Bradley and Phil Mickelson faced off against Sergio Garcia and Luke Donald of the European team. Mickelson and Bradley pulled out the victory thanks to a match-winning putt from Bradley, which can be seen in the video above....

Replacement Official Speaks Out: "The Last Guy Who Was Perfect They Nailed To A Cross"
By the time the referee lockout ended last night, many of the scab replacements had become notorious for blunders or impropriety of some kind. Jeff Sadorus fell into that classification when reports surfaced 10 days ago that he had been a paid practice official for years with the Seattle Seahawks, w...

Somehow Josh Cribbs Woke Up And Walked Away From This Brutal Head-Crunching Hit
On a day the NFL celebrated the end of its most pressing controversy, its lingering one rose again to prominence as Browns returner Josh Cribbs took a brutal hit from Dannell Ellerbe at the end of a first quarter punt return and lay motionless on the turf during tonight's Cleveland-Baltimore game ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Sing, Michael, Sing
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Malinowski will be with you presently. Enjoy the football. We'll see you all tomorrow....

Could Somebody Please Show Michael Vick How To Use Twitter On His Phone?
It seems Michael Vick's getting pinged every time one of his 1.5 million followers tweets at him. The best solution here, obviously, is to draw as much attention to the situation as possible. We're here to help....

Maurice Jones-Drew Still Sounds Pretty Ticked Off At Jags Management
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The issues that prompted his holdout? They're still issues....

A's Pitcher Dallas Braden Goes A Little Crazypants At A Community Meeting In His Hometown
A public meeting was held in Stockton, Calif., last night in order to address the town's high crime rate. That's not something that would normally register on our radar, but when Dallas Braden decides to show up at that meeting with a baseball bat and berate the police chief until he gets himself k...