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The Crime Dog Rips Melky Cabrera A New One
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Fred McGriff has no sympathy for Melky....


Discussion Discussion: Surrounded By Assholes
If you've read our previous Discussion Discussions, or the Comment Of The Fortnight-Ish columns before those, by now you're likely familiar with how they work: we artfully (we hope) and circuitously (uh, yeah) lay out an argument for how best to conduct oneself down there, and hopefully by the end y...

Cockblocked By Pot Brownies!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Philadelphia Lazily Goes Through The Motions Of Complaining That Jimmy Rollins Doesn't Hustle
Sure, the Philadelphia Phillies, with their $173 million payroll, are 10 games under .500 and scrambling to catch the Mets for third place in the division. They have an OPS+ of 89 and only one position player on the active roster who was born after 1983. But they're unafraid to confront the real pro...
![Bull Gores The Shit Out Of Matador [Possibly NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17w9lb5z6wy8djpg.jpg)
Bull Gores The Shit Out Of Matador [Possibly NSFW]
This is the moment Fernando Cruz took a horn halfway through his abdomen, at a Madrid bull ring on Wednesday. Cruz received a couple of gores, to his stomach and abdomen, with both horns. If you're not a fan of killing animals for sport, maybe you're applauding this news. We're not about to call you...

Tyrann Mathieu Is In Drug Rehab, Being Mentored By Former NBA Coach John Lucas
Ever since LSU coach Les Miles dismissed Tyrann Mathieu from the team last Friday, everyone's been wondering why it was done, where was Mathieu, and what would become of his immediate future. Well, some of those questions have finally been answered. An exclusive report from FOX 8 in New Orleans sa...
![A Fan Suffered An Apparent Heart Attack During Tonight's Blue Jays Game [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
A Fan Suffered An Apparent Heart Attack During Tonight's Blue Jays Game [UPDATE]
Update 11:15 p.m.: Toronto police have now confirmed to CityNews Toronto and the Globe and Mail that the man who was taken to the hospital has now died. MLB.com also has a roundup of player reaction to what happened. If you care to watch the above video, it shows what preceded the stoppage in play...

Deadspin Up All Night: Check The Papers And The TV
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Erik's on his way. There's some baseball. Oh, and a couple of football games that don't count. Talk about 'em down in the discussion, won't you?...

This Is Less Than Encouraging: Adrian Peterson Has Been Told Not To Make Cuts
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Fuck it, AP's cutting anyway....

It Took Long Enough, But Someone Finally Made A Hitler Minigolf Hole
It's not even cathartic! You can't even clang a ball off his fiberglass groin, since it's hollowed out to make a tunnel. All he does is heil at you, and, I don't know, bark like a seal?...

Study: Football Players Actually Live Longer Than Baseball Players
Grantland's Bill Barnwell presents an interesting bit of research today: MLB players have a higher mortality rate than NFL players, at least in his sample comprising several decades worth of retirees in both sports. The NFL: once again the guilt-free pleasure it used to be! [Grantland]...

"Struck By Blow Dart": A Brief Index Of Recent Terrible Events Involving Joggers
An occasional miscellany (with a head nod toward this great old post on Runner's World's website)....

It's Stupid To Avoid Mentioning A No-Hitter In Progress. Vin Scully Said So <em>52 Years Ago</em>.
Awful Announcing dug up this Los Angeles Times article from July 9, 1960, proving the dumb debate has been going on at least that long. Let the Dean take you to school:...

Woman Who Sat For A While On A Hot Bench Outside Cowboys Stadium Now Suing Jerry Jones
How long were you on this planet before you realized that hot things hurt, and you shouldn't touch them? A few months? A year or two, tops? So when you see a black marble bench, baking in a summer Texas sun on a 101-degree day, maybe you think, hey, it's probably hot, I shouldn't sit there. And even...

Four Umpires, And Not One Knows The Count
Yes, the job of the men in blue can sometimes be a dangerous one. But most of the time, the gig is just a matter of calling what they see, while also keeping track of exactly where everything stands. Simple, right? Well, things got a bit confusing for all involved during Carlos Lee's ordinary at-bat...

Specially Contoured Jeans Designed To Combat Scourge Of "Hockey Ass"
So, here's a real product you can buy that I never thought warranted existence. The hockey apparel-minded folks at Gongshow announced this one back in January, but it has just released its new Hustle & Flow jeans, an otherwise ordinary-looking pair of pants that serve a very specific purpose. We'll ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Tell Me
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Erik's here soon to be with you as you watch baseball and do other stuff....

Stan Van Gundy On The Magic: "You Get What You Deserve"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Stan Van doesn't sound too sorry about the mess in Orlando....

Throwing Up Dip And Learning About Blowjobs: Deadspin's Notes On Summer Camp
I went to Camp Deerhorn in Rhinelander, Wis., every summer for the majority of my adolescence. It was an awesome camp. We got to fire guns. We got to shoot arrows. We got to go on horseback rides. (I’ve never shit my pants with more direct force than the first time I was on a horse and it went from ...