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LOL OMG NHL: Hockey Goes After The BuzzFeed Generation
Our friends at Jezebel pointed us to this post on BuzzFeed: "The Hottest Guys In The NHL." It's a standard BuzzFeed numbered list of large photos, with a sentence or two apiece, perfectly designed to be shared around Facebook and Pinterest by a very specific subset of the internet. But the top text ...

Unpopular Sport Forms "Strategic Promotional Alliance" With Band That Sucks
Big announcement today from the NHL. So big it merited a press release that maunders on for nearly 1,000 words. You're not going to bother reading it, but here's the gist: The NHL has an awards show on June 20 in Las Vegas. It has hired Nickelback to be the headlining band. It's hailing the move as ...

Czech Women Will Use You As A Bodyguard
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

College Newspaper Captures Euphoria Of Historic Upset With Headline Alluding To Masturbation
Division II Francis Marion University (S.C.) knocked off defending Division I national champ South Carolina in a baseball game on April 11. FMU's student paper is a weekly, and even though the edition chronicling the big win wasn't published until this week, the upset was still enough to merit front...

Michael Bourn Holds Up The Game With A Bathroom Break
When you gotta go, you gotta go. For most of us, that means quietly taking a break before we resume whatever it is we were doing. For Michael Bourn, last night it meant the start of the bottom of the fourth inning in Arizona had to be delayed, since everyone noticed the Braves had taken the field ...

Somebody On The Heat Bench Farted Tonight
The Miami Heat came into tonight's match with the Chicago Bulls riding a four-game winning streak, so they certainly haven't stunk on the floor. It did stink, though, in the first quarter on the Heat bench, when someone (we're guessing Juwan Howard, given he's the only one not reacting) let a sti...

Deadspin Up All Night: Sunset Riding
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Erik soon....

Bobby Petrino Claimed He Started Seeing Jessica Dorrell In October, Ended Things In February
On April 10, the day Arkansas fired Bobby Petrino, the outgoing coach sat down with athletic director Jeff Long. Petrino gave Long some details of his relationship with Jessica Dorrell, and Long's handwritten notes were included in a personnel file released by the university today. ...

Diamondbacks Fan Catches Foul Ball, Does Not Drop Pizza
This happened Monday night, but it was only brought to our attention today. Let's blame the fact that the Pirates were playing. Anyway, just throw it in the pile with all those other videos of guys catching foul balls while holding a baby or a cup of beer, while one of the announcers cracks wise a...

Jamie Moyer Has Faced 8.9 Percent Of All MLB Hitters Ever
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The 49-year-old Moyer keeps on chugging....

Lou Williams Tries To Sit, Andre Iguodala Yanks His Seat
It's been a tough run of late for the 76ers. They had lost three straight and seven of nine heading into last night's appointment in Cleveland, and their CEO is now soliciting personnel input from the internet. But because they earned a much-needed road win, garbage time offered an occasion to smi...

Deadspin Up All Night: What She Wants
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Erik will be right with you....

76ers CEO Invites Fans To Be "Our Twitter GM," Uses Poor Grammar
The Philadelphia 76ers began the season 20-9, but they're now hovering near .500 and clinging to the eighth and final spot in the Eastern Conference. Adam Aron, the team's ever-engaging CEO, is apparently open to any and all suggestions from his nearly 15,000 Twitter followers. It's doubtful Joe fro...

Jared Allen Wonders Why The NFL Isn't Trying To Make Football Safer For Defensive Players
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Allen has some thoughts on the NFL's crackdown....

Chris Young's Hustle Earns Him A DL Trip
Diamondbacks outfielder Chris Young flung himself into the Chase Field wall to corral Pedro Alvarez's long fly. X-rays were negative, but an MRI today showed...something. Young is on the DL with what's only being called a "shoulder contusion," and the D-Backs didn't even win the game. The lesson her...

Your Better-Late-Than-Never Chelsea-Barcelona Champions League Semifinal Open Thread
Do it to it, folks. The match is on FX, if you've been looking for it....

How To Earn A One-Game Suspension In The NHL Playoffs
Attack and repeatedly punch a defenseless player. Jump into a scuffle and pound on a defenseless player from behind, and pull his hair. Take runs at two separate players, ringing two bells on one shift. Give a cross-check shove to a player's face after he tripped your team's star....

Kentucky Declares For NBA Draft
UK's entire starting five—freshmen Anthony Davis, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, and Marquis Teague, and sophomores Doron Lamb and Terrence Jones—announced they'll be leaving Lexington after a national championship. They'll be joined by senior Darius Miller, so John Calipari—as proud as he is of his one-an...

Jamie Moyer Becomes Oldest Pitcher In Baseball History To Win A Game
Good for Jamie Moyer, who pitched seven effective innings against the Padres Tuesday night to earn the 268th win of his never-ending and perpetual baseball career. At the age of 49 years, 150 days, he also became the oldest geezer to win a MLB game....

<em>Philadelphia Daily News</em> Puts 'The Cowardly Penguin' On Its Cover
You know, you look at this cover of Wednesday's Philadelphia Daily News and you get the subtle impression that maybe there's a chance the Penguins and Flyers don't like or respect each other much....