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Division III Basketball Team's Leading Scorer Chooses Spring Break In Cancun Over Sweet 16 Game
The King's College Lady Monarchs booked their tickets to a women's NCAA Division III Sweet 16 game this weekend against Emmanuel in Amherst, Mass. But senior forward Paige Carlin, the team's leading scorer (11.4 ppg), already had tickets—to Cancun for Spring Break. This is going dancing in the origi...

Hot On The Trail Of Twitter's DadBoner, The Internet's Greatest Mystery
Bold flavors. Power moves. Chest beefers. A thousand beers, you guys. If any of those references are familiar to you, then you're probably one of the over 52,000 people who follow the DadBoner Twitter feed, which is probably the best Twitter feed ever written by an imaginary middle-aged Michigan man...

If Mike Tyson Were President, He'd Put Pacquaio And Mayweather In Jail Until They Fight
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Keep in mind that as a convicted felon, Tyson cannot vote....

Internet, Prepare Your Wanking Motions: Harvard Prigs Talk About Team's NCAA Tourney Bid
So I went to Harvard. It was a daily challenge not to slug many of my classmates in the face. There are plenty of good people at Harvard. There are also a great many egotistical children convinced that their prattling is the stuff of genius. Too many politicians in training wheels. Too many cowards ...

While Messi Was Scoring Five Goals, Cristiano Ronaldo's $300,000 Lamborghini Was Getting Towed
Remember when "Messi or Ronaldo" was like, a thing? Feel silly these days, don't we....

Neymar Basically Dribbled A Ball Into The Goal From 70 Yards Yesterday
Santos star and Brazilian international Neymar has been linked time and again, often prematurely, to transfers to big European clubs. But Neymar is still in Brazil, perhaps because he can do things there like dribble the entire length of the field without someone giving him a tumble, which is what...

Hear Al Swearengen Sing Your Favorite '80s Hits
Before he was winning awards for his portrayal of foul-mouthed saloon owner Al Swearengen on Deadwood, Ian McShane was just another middling English actor who had once put out an album of '80s power ballads....

London's $150 Million Olympic Velodrome Looks Like Patio Furniture (Or Pringles)
The 2012 Olympics in London are only some 142 days away, and years of construction are finally coming to a head. The insane spectacle of Beijing's 2008 Olympics seems to have put added pressure on the London crew, which has tapped Oscar-winning director Danny Boyle to plan the Opening Ceremony. The...

Deadspin Up All Night: Play Nice
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Erik's with you shortly....

Cop Claims His Mississippi State Fan Boss Fired Him Because He Talked About MSU Player's Arrest
This one's kind of involved, so let's follow the bouncing Bulldog:...

The Guy From The Dropkick Murphys Would Like You To Know He Didn't Really Say Jonathan Papelbon Couldn't Use His Entrance Music
Yesterday, ESPN Music(?!) reported that Ken Casey, vocalist for the Dropkick Murphys, did not want Jonathan Papelbon using his old entrance song. That song, "I'm Shipping Up To Boston," is reserved for the Red Sox closer, Casey supposedly said, and now that Papelbon is in Philadelphia, he's no longe...

Marlins President Calls Miamians Stupid, Jose Reyes Greedy
If you know anything about the sweetheart deal the city gave the Marlins to build a new stadium, you know team president David Samson basically bent Miami over a pinball machine and had his way with it. But he's far from done with the humiliation—with his remarks to a gathering of local business lea...

Dave Duerson Had Less Than $20,000 In Assets When He Committed Suicide
Dave Duerson was a millionaire and a successful CEO after the conclusion of his 11-year NFL career. But when he shot himself in the heart last year, leaving behind a note that asked his family to donate his brain for dementia testing, Duerson was going through bankruptcy proceedings. He owed hundred...

FLOTUS On Board: One Reader's Boldest Experience
Ring the bells—the winner of the "My Boldest Experience" essay contest has been chosen. Behold, a tale of cargo vans and khaki pants by Deadspin reader Cameron B., who is just won a $100 AMEX card. Read and be inspired....

Two Rec Hockey Leagues Kicked Out By Town For Rampant Smoking, Drinking, "Torn Rectum"
Up in Kingsville, Ontario, they skate hard, and they drink hard. Too damn hard for the folks at Kingsville, who evicted two men's leagues from their arena after months of shenanigans. Yes, it's beer league hockey. But it's not cigarette league, or drunken brawl league, or beer bottle up the anus lea...

Jakub Voracek Used To Have Cognitive Abilities, Until Niklas Kronwall Exploded Him
Philadelphia's Jakub Voracek skated directly into a Kronwall, which, from the point of view of physics, isn't much different from skating into a brick wall. Voracek was clearly out for a few seconds, going directly into the always-terrifying the fencing response. No penalty was called on the play,...

Ronald McDonald Loved Seeing Bryce Drew, But The Ole Miss Fan Sitting Next To Him Just Grimaced The Whole Game
I don't have the context for this, and I don't want it. Clowns get damn good seats for being as scary as they are, and if you don't know why Ole Miss still hates Bryce Drew, take a trip down memory lane back to 1998....

So This Is What It Looks Like When Russian Prostitutes Fight In The Street
It is a sad day for all of humanity when трех проституток cannot resolve their grievances via non-violent means. As such, last week — or whenever this was filmed — cracked open a sad day for all of humanity....

Deadspin Up All Night: Say Hello To The New Guy
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Holy shit, Erik Malinowski's here!...

42 "Pussy" Shots For £126! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Epic £203,948.80 Bar Tab From A Liverpool Nightclub
Where to begin with this epic bar tab (full version at the bottom)? It's so single-minded, so devoid of nuance. I hate it. When Petchesky first directed my attention to this abomination, which was posted a few places yesterday, I thought it could only belong to one man—Don Johnson, the "champagne ki...