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Here's Hipster A-Rod, Cindy Crawford, And Torrie Wilson In A Photo Capturing The Moment America Collapsed In On Itself
Your morning roundup for Jan. 4, the day we identified what doesn't belong. Photo via Hardball Talk. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Deadspin Up All Night: We Can Just Sit And Talk For Hours And Hours
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Depending on how the rest of the week goes, I may or may not be doing one of these numbers on Friday. Think of something to say so it's not too awkward....

Jerry Jones Repeatedly Insists That Tony Romo Was The Fourth-Best Quarterback In The NFL This Year
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: sometimes numbers don't tell the whole story....

Deadspin Hall Of Fame Inductee: Brett Favre
Presenting your first 2011 inductee to the Deadspin Hall of Fame......

ShortCenter: Michigan's Kicker Was Thinking About "Brunette Girls" Before His Game-Winner
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

This Virginia Tech Fan Is More Fascinated By Her Cleavage Than By The Sugar Bowl
Your morning roundup for Jan. 4, the day we thanked Apocephalus borealis. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Holly Rowe Will Beat Up Anyone Who Tries To Steal Her Interview
Holly Rowe wasn't going to let anyone get between her and the post-Sugar Bowl interview with the winning coach, Michigan's Brady Hoke. That includes the Detroit News' Angelique Chengelis somebody who is not Angelique Chengelis, who came out on the wrong end of Rowe's elbow. [ESPN]...

Cheer Up, Eagles Fans: According To Comcast, You Made The Playoffs
Be sure to tune in Sunday, where last season's matchup of 10-6 Philadelphia and Green Bay will apparently be happening again. (Depending on where you live, Baltimore may be facing Kansas City, too!)...

Of Course Flyers And Rangers Fans Brawled Outside Of Geno's Steaks After The Winter Classic
Writes tipster Kenneth Brock, "I was debating on even sending this to y'all. Born and raised in Philly, breathe the city and its sports teams. We get a bad enough rap as is through the national media. Goddamn snowballs at Santa. Wasn't even a twinkle in my parents eye when that bullshit went down....

This Is The Third Time A Man Dressed Like A Woman And Chained Himself Up Near Her Local Walgreens
On first blush, the Uniontown, Pa. police-report details — as relayed by the Tribune-Review — were ample to paint a decent picture of Stephen M. Carr's New Year's Day arrest in the Walgreens parking lot....

Some Cross-Dressing Banjo Players Got Into A Brawl In Philadelphia On Sunday
On New Year's Day in Philly, we have something called the Mummer's Parade. Stripped down to its basics, it's an event in which men dress in feathers, a wide array of costumes or as women and prance down Broad Street. Some people think it's a grand time. They're entitled to that opinion, I guess....

Deadspin Up All Night: Take It Sleazy
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hickey's here tonight. Give him a few minutes to get settled in....

If The Canadiens' Interim Head Coach Doesn't Learn French, He'll Probably Be Fired
Montreal Canadiens' interim head coach Randy Cunneyworth doesn't speak any French. This is apparently such a problem among fans that the team's GM had to address the issue with the sort of groveling, mealy-mouthed statement you give when your coach blows a .48 on his Breathalyzer....

At The Winter Classic, A New Year Belongs To Gary Bettman
PHILADELPHIA—These are supposed to be the treasured memories of the NHL's Winter Classic: Star-crossed Brayden Schenn's first career goal. Mike Rupp's mocking Jagr salute after his first score. Henrik Lundqvist stoning a penalty shot for the game. But they're transient memories, already fading....

ESPN Thinks Helmet-To-Helmet Hits Are Pretty Great
The Worldwide Leader did away with its "Jacked Up!" segment some time ago, but it's still not above marveling at and even promoting footage of a good old-fashioned helmet-to-helmet blast, as this tweet to its 2.4 million followers clearly indicates....

Yes, The Yeti Is Real, And It's A Fan Of The South Carolina Gamecocks
Your morning roundup for Jan. 3, the day we learned cops don't like giving weed back. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Yep, It Looks Like A Wisconsin Assistant Coach Ate A Booger At The Rose Bowl
We think this is Wisconsin assistant coach Joe Rudolph pulling a Spaulding in the first quarter of the Rose Bowl; here it is in full forensic-quality slow-mo and zoomed-in just for your enjoyment. [ESPN]...

Deadspin Up All Night: Break's Over
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hope you had a pleasant New Year's Day (observed)....

Your Rose Bowl And Fiesta Bowl Open Thread
Rose Bowl's right now on ESPN. Wisconsin and Oregon. That should be a fun one. Fiesta Bowl's on ESPN at 8:30. Stanford and Oklahoma State. That should be, like, a little less fun. But there's Andrew Luck and Justin Blackmon if you're one of those people who cares way too much about the NFL draft....
