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More Fun With License Plates: Sketchy "Do Me" Van Is Often Parked Near "NWA" Honda CR-V
Hickey alerted you Saturday to the "Do Me" white van, a New Jersey-based vehicle that undoubtedly has stained shag carpeting....

On Second Thought, Oakland's MC Hammer Bobblehead Night Is Probably Cooler
The question is, do the parachute pants bobble too?...

Your Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest Open Thread
Perhaps Nathan's annual Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating contest has lost a bit of its luster in recent years, as the Kobayashi-Joey Chestnut rivalry we first tasted in 2007 never entirely materialized after that....

Deadspin Classic: A Balls Deep Guide To The Fourth Of July
Happy Fourth of July. Since there's not gonna be any football for a long time, how about a Fourth of July Jamboroo from the Balls Deep vault?...

The Refs Clearly Aren't Watching The Women's World Cup Either
Your morning roundup for July 4, the day we added needed precision to our dog shit inspections....

This Little Piggy Is David Haye's Excuse For Getting His Ass Kicked Last Night
So, here's the picture that David Haye posted on Twitter last night after he "fought" Wladimir Klitschko in Hamburg, Germany. After months of smack talk, he typed......

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Turned Coke Fiend Totally Helped a Meth Mom Find The Righteous Path
So, this newscaster lady introduces the story about Natalynne Walton and Hopeful Solutions as "a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader went from the limelight to a life on cocaine." Hmm. Dallas Cowboys. Cocaine. Cocaine Cowboys. Documentary. By Billy Corben. Who's also doing a doc on ecstasy. Called Limeligh...

Here's Video Of The Elusive Great Adventure Baboon Getting Caged And Returned To Captivity
A guy named Peter Kong is narrating this New York Post video about the end of the Great Adventure baboon's three-day reign of terror across New Jersey. He's been waiting for this day his whole damn life. Deliver the goods, Kong! (Raw, Kong-less video here can be found here.)...

Watch A Blue Jays Reliever And Manager Get Ejected On The Day Roy Halladay Returned To Toronto's Mound
Your morning roundup for July 3, the day after some baby gators proved a mud hole is better than any stop, drop and roll mantra....

Your Afternoon Heavyweight Championship Of The World Open Thread
Earlier in this week, regular Deadspin commenter/hardcore-boxing fan "Iron Mike Gallego" emailed with a plea for an open thread for today's heavyweight championship fight between Wladimir Klitschko and David Haye. Slow sports day. Quirky to have boxing on in the afternoon. Probably would have had ...

THE ELUSIVE GREAT ADVENTURE BABOON HAS BEEN CAPTURED! NEW JERSEY IS SAFE!
The Star-Ledger and others are reporting that a runaway baboon from the Six Flags amusement-park safari in Jackson, NJ was tranquilized and taken into custody around 2:40 p.m. after three days on the lam....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Schmuck Owners
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Frank McCourt, the lockouts, and James Dolan's never-ending flirtation with Isiah Thomas, here are five of the best stories ever written about terrible owners....

Ohio-Based Lady Sues Kobe Bryant For Not Marrying Her
Kobe Bryant has five rings. But now one litigious soul is livid that she didn't get one from him....

Cockblocked By Waves!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Well, Shit, We've Been Giving The Norris Trophy To The Wrong Man Every Year
Your morning roundup for July 1, the day we blamed math on luck. Photo via Reddit....

Chad Ochocinco Threatens To Whoop Marvin Lewis's Ass
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Ochocinco doesn't pull punches on anyone....

The Stanley Cup Begins Its Summer Job As A Firefighter
Yes. Awesome....

Chinese Male Cheerleader Has All The Right Moves
A friend tells us that this video is going viral in China, and if it's good enough to bring joy to the faces of 1.3 billion inscrutable Chinese, it's good enough for you lot....

