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Dilbert's Necktie Is Erect Because It Wants To Rape Ladies, Naturally
Leading philosopher cartoon merchandiser Scott Adams, of Dilbert fame, has some new thoughts about masculinity, to go with his earlier, now-deleted meditation on men's rights. Why is there so much news about men "tweeting, raping, cheating, and being offensive"?...

DeShawn Stevenson Got An Abe Lincoln Tattoo Because Gilbert Arenas Stole His MLK One
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Stevenson maintains he would have passed a Breathalyzer....

Referee Blamed For 1,800-Year-Old Gladiator's Death
This is like if Jim Joyce called Jason Donald safe, then allowed him to stab Armando Galarraga to death....

Vince McMahon's Son Was Hanging Out With Rory McIlroy's Dad, For Some Reason
Your morning roundup for June 20, the day we got a healthy reminder that rich people are awful....

Mother, Escalator, Crowd Team Up To Ensure Boy's Sock Looks Like Schilling's Before Bruins Parade
The Bruins Stanley Cup parade didn't go as well as Jennifer Nottage, her six-year-old daughter Alyana and 12-year-old son Elijah had hoped. Here's Nottage's email account of what happened on a commuter-rail stop's escalator, courtesy of Universal Hub:...

Your USA/Jamaica Gold Cup Quarterfinals Open Thread
The Gold Cup's knockout stage commences for Estados Unidos de América this afternoon. The Americans face a threatening Jamaica side that has some scared for Bob Bradley's coaching life, particularly since victory-bringers Landon Donovan and Clint Dempsey were allowed to break away for family weddi...

These Two Guys Would've Gotten Away With Busting Into Coors Field If It Wasn't For A Pesky Security Guard
Your morning roundup for June 19, the day some sexy finally came out of the Vancouver riots (it starts at 0:45 of this video), and the day we all wish a Happy Father's Day to the appropriate person in our lives....

RIP Clarence Clemons
"Clarence Clemons, the saxophonist in Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, whose jovial onstage manner, soul-rooted style and brotherly relationship with Mr. Springsteen made him one of rock's most beloved sidemen, died Saturday at a hospital in Palm Beach, Fla. He was 69." [New York Times]...

Filthy Rich Kids Allowed To Sell Lemonade Outside U.S. Open For Charity After All
On Thursday, the heartless Montgomery County, Md. inspections office ordered a gaggle of children — including some from the Marriott-hotel and Lockheed-Martin clans — to close their lemonade stand right outside Congressional Country Club. The kids said they were raising money for pediatric-cancer r...

Bruins Owner Used Today's Stanley Cup Parade To Rip On Cam Neely For Never Winning One As A Player
There are two things to consider about this snippet from Jeremy Jacobs's speech at today's celebration in Boston: 1) Why didn't George Steinbrenner use World Series parades in 1996, 1998, 1999, 2000 and 2009 to remind the world that Donnie Baseball doesn't have a ring and 2) Did team President Sea...

Watch The Marlins Catcher Successfully Throw The Ball At Shane Victorino's Head
Your morning roundup for June 18, the day "propaganda vans touted the importance of stability" in the Jeans Capital of China. (Video H/T, Jimmy Greek)...

The Top Talent Departs as <em>Madden</em> Nears Its Release
The executive producer of Madden NFL quietly stepped down this week after less than a year on the job. He is the third senior-level Madden developer to leave the title in the past two months. But Phil Frazier and his… [Kotaku] ...

Postcard From Western Canada: Vancouver Flames And Calgary Canucks
FORT McMURRAY, ALBERTA — During the nine months I've lived in Canada, I've abandoned my image of Canadians as a bunch of northern Minnesotans with their pinkies extended, single-payer health care and Queen Elizabeth's plump mugshot on every single coin in their snap-purses. They truly are a more pol...

Area Man Intervenes In Scooter-Based Road Rage Incident Involving Pirates Player, Still Has No Idea Who The Pirates Are
Pirates catcher Chris Snyder became embroiled in a road rage altercation on Wednesday while driving with his wife and two children. His wife nearly collided with Subhash Arjanbhi Modhwadia, a particularly short-fused fellow on a scooter. Modhwadia chased the Snyders to a gas station on his scooter....

Look At This U-18 Canadian Water Polo Player Trying To Blow Up A Vancouver Police Cruiser
There goes your scholarship, boyo. The intelligent young man you see here neglecting to cover his face with his hood but flashing some nifty Nike Dunk Highs(?) has been identified as Nathan Kotylak, who plays the sport of water polo at a very impressive level and looks remarkably at ease lighting a ...

Finally, Someone Asked Alan Thicke About The Riots
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Jason Seaver gets the final word....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Wimbledon
A quick primer on SportsFeat: Every day, we post great sports writing from across the web, both new stuff and classics. A companion to Longform.org, the site is designed to be used with services like Instapaper and Read It Later, so you can read the stories later on your phone, iPad or Kindle. You c...

What’s It Like To Be Aggressively Licked?
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

ESPN Book Gets Snubbed On Regis Show; Annoyed Co-Author Blames Michelle Beadle
Despite the fact that there's been no public disciplinary fallout from Michelle Beadle's nasty comments about Erin Andrews last month, it appears Beadle's trying to distance herself from "Those Guys Have All The Fun," according to co-author Tom Shales. Shales, whose longtime gig as a TV critic resul...

New Soccer Uniform Looks Great On Torso-less Players
The unveiling of a team's new kit is a summer tradition, and it's a cynical one. In the US, minor design changes are made and alternate jerseys introduced simply to spur fans to spend more money. In Europe, there's that, and there's a brand new sponsor to plaster across fans' chests....