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Even The Chili Is Considering Cutting Ties With The Bengals
"Gold Star Chili seems to be questioning their sponsorship as the 'Official Chili of the Cincinnati Bengals' ... In the 5 question survey, which you can take here, Gold Star cites some pretty convincing evidence that would lead one to beleive [sic] that the company's major sponsorship of the Bengal...
Pussyblocked By Jealous Male Suitors!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Chris And Carmelo's Excellent Chinese Adventure Continues With Interpretive Masked Opera Dance
Chris Paul, Carmelo Anthony and Dwyane Wade are all on board for this year's week-long Jordan Brand Flight Tour in China, during which the players will "introduce China specific editions of [Nike's] signature products that takes inspiration from the Chinese culture as well as the athlete's style o...
All Of This MLB Trade Deadline And NFL Free Agency Talk Is Really Getting Confusing
Your morning roundup for July 29, the day we got kicked out of Wal-Mart for wearing a string bikini. Photo via @JeffDLowe. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
It's Not The Heat, It's The Humididong
Mitch Butler and Josh Landis couldn't even get through a simple 2:05 CBS Early Show segment exploring the nuances of humidity without slapping a big old phallic symbol up on the screen, and one with a rapidly increasing temperature, no less....
This Is How Gruesome It Looks When A Sword Gets Embedded In Someone's Head (NSFW)
Zhang Bin is a 15-year-old boy from China. Zhang Bin can also now tell people what it feels like to have a sword embedded in your forehead and get the hospital runaround before undergoing successful surgery....
So Long Ochocinco, And Thanks For The Sombrero
While Chad Ochocinco was thanking God for sending him to New England (or more likely just getting him out of Cincinnati), his now ex-teammate Pacman Jones was helping himself to the contents of Ochocinco's locker. That included modeling the sombrero Chad once pulled out on the field and offering up ...
All Too Good, And Not Good Enough: What Carlos Beltran Meant To The Mets
Carlos Beltran was not a New York Met. I don't mean this literally — Beltran's Mets career spanned six and a half seasons, from 2005 until yesterday. He was with the Mets almost exactly as long as Keith Hernandez was, and longer than Reggie Jackson was with the Yankees....
Cristiano Ronaldo Could End Up Being Seized By The European Central Bank
The financial situation in Europe is so screwed up that soccer players are being used as collateral. Bankia, a troubled seven-month-old Spanish banking group, is trying to shore up capital by going public and getting a big loan from the European Central Bank, the EU's equivalent of the Federal Reser...
Hurry! Andy Reid Is Trying To Get Away!
Your morning roundup for July 28, the day we kept getting hit with popcorn while trying to talk. Photo via @Jeff_McLane. H/T to Michael for the video. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Presenting A School-Kid Reenactment Of The Saddest Scene In Movie History
As you may have already heard, that scene in "The Champ" when T.J. (young Ricky Schroder) weeps over his father (Jon Voight) Billy's body after a boxing match turned fatal is the scientifically proven saddest movie scene ever....
Yet Another Green Man Eludes Capture At A Minor League Baseball Game
For the record, the Battle Creek Bombers defeated the Madison Mallards 4-1 in some Northwoods League minor-league baseball action on Wednesday night....
In The War Between An Angry Ginger And Aspiring Ultimate Fighter, The Ginger Won With A Kill-Shot
The St. Petersburg Times's "Man accused of beating to death aspiring 'ultimate fighter' at Zephyrhills party" headline comes nowhere near telling the whole story of Samuel Smith's death (allegedly) at the ruddy hands of Richard Starks Jr....
Colby Rasmus Is Thrilled That Obama Isn't President In Canada
With Rasmus moving north of the border, Joe Sports Fan thought it would be a good time to unveil this undated photo of Colby making his political views known in the most effective way known to man — via t-shirt. So in a way, Rasmus is like everyone who's ever bitched that if an election didn't go th...
ESPN's Sources Are Awfully Chatty Today
Tipsters Amos and Miles alerted us to the "Headlines" section of ESPN.com. We await the Poynter Institute's 76,000-word monograph on why Adam Schefter really just needs to sleep. [ESPN.com]...
24 Hours At Comic Con
The thing about Comic Con is that, underneath all the geeky costumes and all that other fanboy bullshit, it's still very much a convention. It takes place in a nondescript convention hall that's roughly the size of the Pentagon. The panels take place in big depressing conference rooms that look very...
Michael Vick Loses An Endorsement Deal, And Not Because He Killed A Bunch Of Dogs
Just two weeks ago, Vick signed a deal to be the face of EnerJel, a nutritional supplement/energy boost that you can rub into your skin. Because swallowing Gatorade was getting too difficult. But this was a product whose time has come, and Vick was clearly the only man who could bring it to the mass...
We Hope This Near-Death Experience Also Marks The Death Of Planking
Please, world, let us be done with planking. It has gone too far. People are now falling off of the top of golf carts and then nearly getting run over by said golf carts. A person has actually died. Soon, our pets' heads will be falling off....
Reach For That Rally In Your Pants
Your morning roundup for July 27, the day our perfect game was interrupted by rain. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. Photo via @Overthebaggy....
Did Andres Blanco Make Adrian Beltre Sit In His Fart Cloud? Oh, Yes, He Did.
And this is why you have to love regular-season baseball. We showed you the highs several minutes ago, but there are lows, too. Such riveting lows they are....