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Cockblocked In The Car Hole! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Time-Traveling Hillbilly Arrives Too Late To Warn Crowd About Spread Offense
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

We Fined Gilbert Arenas For Being A Liar, Says Wizards Coach
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Wizards coach Flip Saunders....

Angry Readers Defend Brett Favre — Now With Audio! (NSFW)
We enter Day 7 of Favre-Sterger overload and even though the media crush has died down somewhat, the Favre supporters are still out in full force. Including that gentleman who left that lovely message at Gawker's office. (NSFW for "CALLTHEFUCKINGCOPS")...

MIT Had Its Own "Fuck List"...In 1977
It turns out renowned egghead university MIT was also dragged into a sex scandal thanks to two female students who wrote a detailed, "consumer guide" to 36 male students they humped....

What They're Saying About Brett Favre's Penis Today
As the league's investigation rolls on, it's time for the media to hammer all the angles and the pundits to weigh in. Whose coverage hits it on the head, and whose comes up short?...

Police Find Serbia’s Infamous Masked Hooligan Hiding In Bus Luggage Compartment
By now we're sure you've already seen video of the hooligan-inspired trouble which forced Tuesday's Euro 2012 qualifier between Italy and Serbia to be called off after 7 minutes....

365 Days Of Heartbreak For The Cleveland Fan In Your Life
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Lincecum-Halladay Billed As "Matchup For The Ages," A "Pitching Classic"
Elsewhere, A.J. Burnett hits two batters in a Yankees' simulation game. Here's your evening update on the NLCS/ALCS pitching rotations....

Horrible Spoof Video Faceoff: "Teach Me How To Bucky" vs. "Teach Me How To Duckie"
I can't even work up the energy to make snarky comments about either of these. I'll just leave them here, where hopefully, they'll never escape....

Mel Kiper Jr. Tries To Clear The Air On The "Cooperated With An Agent" Thing
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: NFL Draft expert and newly revealed sleaze Mel Kiper Jr....

Grow Up and Drink Something Fancy, Manly
You've moved out of Mom's basement, so it's time to order something at the bar that doesn't come in size "yard." Try a Rusty Nail. It's fancy and manly, and an 18th-century rebel prince ran from England to Scotland with the recipe for Drambuie in his knickers—all so you could enjoy this very cocktai...

Miami-FSU Fans Settle Differences With Punches To The Head, Incomprehensible Yelling
Saturday's Miami-Florida State showdown had a lot to offer: FSU getting a "big" win for the first time in a while, for instance. Or a fight in the stands, undoubtedly after someone got a little mouthy. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]...

Raiders Still Making The Youth Of America Cry
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your "It's Tuesday, What Are You Going To Watch, Hockey?" Rangers-Rays Open Thread
This one's for all the marbles. Well, not the ALCS and WS marbles, those come later. But this is the first division series since 2005 to go the distance, so enjoy....

Vlade And Drazen Sitting In A Tree, U-N-I-T-I-N-G (The Balkans)
The "30 For 30" about Vlade Divac And Drazen Petrovic premieres tonight. It's called Once Brothers, and depending on who you ask, it's either powerful or tripe. Quality aside, we'll be watching because we like Vlade and Drazen....

Andy Reid Plans To Start Some Sort Of Super Quarterback This Weekend
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: walrus doppelganger and Eagles coach Andy Reid....

Scary, Ski-Masked Serbian Homophobes Disrupt Euro Cup Qualifier
Tuesday's Italy-Serbia Euro qualifier was called before it began when rioters, protesting the Serbian government's offer to protect a gay pride parade, burned flags, lit flares, and did other rioty things. [SB Nation]...

Nick Swardson Is a Friend to Gay Robots and Wheelchair-Bound Cats Alike
Watch him embody the spirit of weird in his brand-new Comedy Central sketch show Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time. Witness him as Lady Gaga’s brother Garry, a cop who shares his sister’s sartorial gene, work the mean streets in lace tranny sleeves....

Does Breast Cancer Unfairly Hog The Cancer Spotlight?
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