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X-Games Flasher, Large Photo Make For R-Rated Where's Waldo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Phillie Phanatic Immortalized As Art, Promptly Vandalized
Not all of Philadelphia has Phillies Phever. Two men were arrested for assaulting a 6-foot, 100-lb sculpture of the Phanatic. His prehensile tongue offered pathetically little defense....

Today In Dogs Raving Their Faces Off
Per YouTube user BlueBlazeful, "Like anyone at a rave, he's either really feeling the music, or he's got rabies." We don't know what kind of raves BlueBlazeful attends, but if there are techno loving dogs there, we want to go....

Mike Tyson Did <em>The Hangover</em> For Drug Money
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Mike Tyson....

Intern Horrors: The Republican Party Makes You Puke
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature where interns tell their saddest and most embarrassing tales of incompetence or incontinence. Today: the perils of campaign canvassing, wrecking the "Country Cruiser," and The Great Poop Duel Of Several Years Ago. Misdirecting Headline Warning!...

Cheez Doodle Inventor Mourned By One Solitary Sportswriter
The inventor of the Cheez Doodle died last week. Stephen A. Smith was seen laying a single orange rose on his grave....

Here's Karen Sypher, Seconds Away From Blowing Her Lawyer
Sypher's former lawyer Dana Kolter testified that they had an "intimate relationship" before he threatened to sue Rick Pitino as part of her extortion plan. Jurors were then shown photographs of Sypher and Kolter engaging in oral sex....

Grounds Crew Sets Fire To Baseball Field To Dry It
"It seemed like a good idea at the time" is a phrase that doesn't bode well. But rarely has there been so obviously not a good idea as burning a baseball field with diesel fuel to dry it out after it rains....

Does Kim Kardashian Know About This?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

How Tampa Bay Shenanigans Affected the Trade Deadline
Oh, those pesky Hickeys. Seems as if Tampa Bay pitching coach Jim Hickey was involved in some horseplay — specifically, "wrestling, in a way" — which landed pitcher Grant Balfour on the 4-to-6-week shelf with a left rib strain....

Hockey Goon Wants to "Change the World"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Kerry Wood to the Yankees? Kerry Wood to the Yankees.
The Yankees will get Kerry Wood from the Indians, agreeing to pay about $1.5 million of the $3.6 million left on Wood’s contract. [SI.com] Wood was activated from the DL today. Mark Prior wasn’t. Brian Hickey cried while typing that. Joba Chamberlain cried while reading it....

World's Best Soccer Player Forms Universe's Worst Bro-Band Tribute Band
It was looking good for futbol to get some American respect. It's looking less good today....

Floyd Mayweather + Don King + Las Vegas = Pictures of Cash Money
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Lovable Psychic Octopus To Be Exploited Further
Paul the Octopus—prognosticating scamp and cephalopod—won our hearts during the World Cup. His ability to pick mussels has landed him a print advertising campaign for a supermarket chain. The ad, pictured, roughly translates to "Where they buy today? Good decision."...

Deadspin Classic: Cats Playing Soccer? Cats Playing Soccer
In the summer of 2010, the World Cup captured the attention of this humble sports blog and it was only a matter of time before the Internet produced the perfect viral video to celebrate the event....

Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure: TRANNY EDITION!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Raul Ibanez's Hitting Makes Another Philly Fan Cry
But this time it's tears of joy for a girl who caught his home run ball, not tears of "we're paying him how much next year?"...

Tan, Large-Breasted Brazilian Runs On The Field
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Female Kickboxer Is Killed At Sloppily Organized Tournament
Sunday in Orlando, Lindsay Scheer fought Adrienne Simmons in the Muay Thai lightweight women's final of the International Kickboxing Federation National Amateur Tournament. The two women were not evenly matched. Lindsay Scheer won the fight. Adrienne Simmons died....