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Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....

Your MUSTACHE MUSTACHE MUSTACHE Yankees-Twins Open Thread
Contrary to popular belief, Carl Pavano did not spend four years in New York sitting on his ass. He was waiting, planning, growing, grooming. Here's your space to talk about his facial hair and other things of note....

Fall Is Here So Groom Yourself, For God's Sake
Dude, no one's buying the "bangin'" scraggle you grew at Burning Man. It's back to school for you and your facial hair! Craft your perfect fall stubble or beard (from 1/64" up to 23/32") with the Philips Norelco Vacuum Stubble and Beard Trimmer Pro....

Your "Who Do You Have Besides Cliff Lee" Rangers-Rays Open Thread
C.J. Wilson? In game two. You sure? Okay, whatever you need to do. Discuss the revenge of DJ Kitty in the comments below....

The Imperfect Man Pitched A Perfect Game, Lost His Pants
Welcome to Private Stache, an occasional feature in which Andy Gray, keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, spotlights the sports photography of yesteryear, a time when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable....

You Should All Be Reading The Business Insider's Sports Section
Stick this in your RSS: the Business Insider's new sports page, featuring the prose stylings of our old friend Dashiell Bennett....

"Didn't There Used To Be A Roof Here?"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Roy Halladay Throws 2nd No-Hitter In Post-Season History
Eat your words, Jay Feely. Just eat 'em. Halladay baffled the Reds coming within a walk of a perfect game. He joins Don Larsen as the only other pitcher to accomplish this feat....

Your On-Time Reds-Phillies Game One Open Thread
One city thinks they've already won the World Series. The other city is just happy to be here. Discuss the harshing of someone's buzz right here....

Ron Washington Opens Up About Coke, Third Person Use
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington....

Your Last Half Of The Rangers-Rays Game Open Thread
This week's SI cover boy, David Price, is currently getting shelled while Cliff Lee continues his absurd streak of playoff dominance. Chat about the rest of the action here....

Dæmon Babies and Fire-Breathing Beasts (and Breasts) Await
Living in NYC can make you feel like you're surrounded by mythological beasts, sci-fi freaks and fantasy faeries. Take a look into the TV mirror tonight for the season premiere of Comedy Central's animated horror-comedy series, Ugly Americans....

This Is A Praying Mantis Bodyslamming A Hummingbird
It's not so easy to flap your wings up to 90 times a second when you're getting smashed into the concrete by two spiked forelegs, is it hummingbird? H/T I Like Cheap Beer...

Apathetic Giants Fan Perfect Metaphor For San Francisco Fan Stereotypes
Here we have a video of an alleged Giants fan who has the least interest in getting a free souvenir I have ever seen. C'mon, guy, look alive. When the Braves sweep, we'll be able to point to this. [NESW Sports]...

A Little Hot Podcasting Action To Get You Ready For The Playoffs
The baseball playoffs start today, so prepare yourself with a special Deadcast featuring me and Mr. Leitch. (Listen here, iTunes here.)...

Studies Show Legs Aren't Supposed To Bend That Way
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Saddest Sports Photograph We've Ever Seen
Oh, poor Smokin' Joe Frazier. You were one of the greatest heavyweights of all time. You don't deserve this....

Mets Executive Thinks Mets Executives Failed, Will Miss Fired Executives
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Mets Chief Operating Officer Jeff Wilpon....

Danny Woodhead: Not Particularly Small, Just White
Last night, as was to be expected, Jon Gruden and the rest of the Monday Night Football gang talked about fun-sized pigment curio Danny Woodhead with the sort of insight and gravitas one finds on the cover of Bop Magazine....

Breaking Down The NHL Broadcast Rights Possibilities
The NHL's broadcasting deal with NBC and Versus expires at the end of the upcoming season. Sports Business Journal took a look at the likely contenders to sign up the league. Let's break 'em down....