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Military's "Super Underwear" Will Save Your Butt
Scientists have developed some sort of electronic underoos that will be able to identify and heal injuries while you're wearing them. The genius behind this breakthrough? You guessed it: Nano-engineering professor Joseph Wang. [Reuters]...
Adam Burish Takes High Road, Offers To Punch Chris Pronger One More Time
Chicago may have ended their ridiculous Stanley Cup drought on Philly's home ice, but apparently that's no reason to be magnanimous. Celebration or no celebration, there's always time to remind people that Chris Pronger is a bit of a jerk....
Philadelphia's Drunk Children Continue To Be Photographed In Natural Habitat
Last month, another child was photographed knocking back a Coors Light in clear view of what we assume is an ambivalent Citizen Bank Park fan base. Release the tasers, before these tot-sots can spell a-z-z-h-o-l-e. [The Fightins]...
How One Energy Company Will Prevent Catastrophic Oil Spills: Swivel-Chair Safety
What you are about to read sums up everything that's boneheaded about corporate America — and it all begins with a swivel chair. Read, weep, and learn....
The Dodgers Hired A Wizard, For Six Figures, To Send Good Vibes
Frank and Jamie McCourt, those feudin' and fussin' co-owners and estranged spouses, spent good money — really good money — on an elderly man who sat at home in Boston, watched Dodgers games on TV, and sent positive energy....
In Case You're Confused, Big Ben Is The One Who DIDN'T Kill Two People
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Last Call For Hockey? (a.k.a., The Cup Is In The Building)
Wait, a second....sports on NBC....on a school night? My stars! Let's hope it's not the last time. Unless you're a Blackhawks fans, in which, I don't care for your kind. (Why do I say things like?! So rude.)...
Now The Stanley Cup Finals Is For Serious
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Weightlifter Pukes Attempting 1,000-lb Squat
This man didn't successfully squat 1,008 pounds, but he did manage to vomit all over the judge before passing out. (Great job by the spotter at the end, btw.) Did I mention it was projectile vomiting? [LastAngryFan via WindyCitizen]...
Did MLB Network Predict Josh Willingham's Home Run?
Yes, he's the real deal and we'll have more on that later, but did anybody else notice this goof-up/incredible called shot from the boys in the truck?...
College Wrestler Condom Bombs Officer With Puke-Filled Rubbers
The North Central College freshman lured out campus security with a fake call for a female needing an escort, and ambushed the officer with two condoms filled with vomit. I think I saw something similar in a Japanese porno once. [Daily Herald]...
Hockey-Dad Of The Year Announced Early
An uncharacteristically rough youth hockey game became more interesting when 50-year old assistant coach, Ronald Synan Jr., punched an opposing player after he scuffled with Synan's son. Synan took a stick to the nose for his troubles. [Orlando Sentinel]...
Jim Nantz Honors Justin Rose With Emotional Reading Of Bette Midler Classic
Justin Rose got his first PGA tour victory over the weekend at the Memorial tournament, which allowed Jim Nantz to reach deep into his back catalog of allusions. This week: Hocus Pocus chanteuse Bette Midler....
Angry, Fan-Punching Mexican Wrestler Of The Week: This Guy
A luchadore's mask is very important. You can understand why La Parka punched this fan who tried to unmask him. After the fight, La Parka returned to his ancestral home: the cover of that one Offspring album. H/T The Masked Man....
The T-Shirt For People Who Like Soccer, But Hate Yelling
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
And Now Your Zen-Like Moment From Will Leitch's Wedding Weekend
This horrifying exhibition of dance moves to "Cupid Shuffle" was perpetrated by Emeritus at his post-rehearsal dinner fete and not at Blogs With Balls. Even the whitest of rhythmless white people might find this unsettling....
Fans Bring Greek Basketball Finals To A Violent, Pyrotechnic End (UPDATE)
In Game 4 of the Greek A-1 League finals between Olympiakos and Panathinaikos, referees declared Panathinaikos the winner after Olympiakos fans interrupted the game by shooting a flare at the Panathinaikos team and staff. Holy shitkos....
Intern Horrors: Mike Francesa Doesn't Run The Tightest Of Ships
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature where interns, and the titans of industry who employ them, bitch about each other's deplorable behavior. This week we have what WFAN's really like, the perils of the music biz, combing through files, and more....
The Epitome of Douche: "Bros Icing Bros"
I went to a wedding this weekend and saw at least three bros (BRAH!) get iced. This retarded game needs to stop immediately. Right fucking now....
And Here's A Little Kid Drinking Beer At A Baseball Game
Extra innings on a brutally humid Philadelphia afternoon isn't easy to sit through. One tyke with a bright future discovered how Daddy makes it through the day, and why Daddy is mean to Mommy sometimes. [via The Fightins]...