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Brady Quinn's Cleveland Home On The Market
Well, not technically Cleveland, because no self-respecting athlete actually lives in Cleveland. But this 4-bedroom, 5-bath listing might be a sign that Quinn will soon be plying his trade a lot farther away. [Realtor.com via WaitingForNextYear]...

The Roller Derby Twins Spectacle
I was a little alarmed to find out the NY Times did a huge feature on Katie and Kristy Barry, two nice young woman whom I had the pleasure of meeting for a drink a couple weeks ago....

U.S. Striker Charlie Davies In Surgery After Serious Car Accident (UPDATE)
The national team's promising 23-year-old forward was apparently involved in this grim one-car accident along the George Washington Parkway, which ripped an SUV in half. One woman died at the scene. Davies' injuries are reportedly not life-threatening....

Stephen A. Smith Heroically Returns To Philly Radio
Stephen A. Smith is back in Philadelphia media, taking a part-time gig at 950 AM97.5 the Fanatic in Philadelphia to go along with his politically-subversive talking head appearances on CNN and MSNBC....

Good Ol' Poise
What have we here? Two young, relatively unformed quarterbacks who play efficiently enough in winning efforts to be anointed with hollow praise? And they're going head-to-head? America had a poisegasm yesterday — and perhaps found a new talisman of poise....

The French Are Still Not Lance Armstrong Fans
Here's a shocker from the cycling world: Team Astana—which featured the first- and third-place finishers at the Tour de France—is now under a doping investigation! I'm starting to think cycling might have a problem with drugs. [AFP/AP]...

Baseball's Robot Revolution Is Coming
The umpires managed to not screw up the Phillies-Rockies game last night (I think), but that hasn't stopped people from continuing to talk about how horrible they are. Today's solution? Let's turn baseball into tennis!...

Shane Victorino's Herbal Essences Commercial
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

What Is Wrong With Our Fragile Baseball Umpires?
It's been a pretty rough offseason for the men in blue, as it seems like nearly every game of the incredibly brief Division Series (plural) has had at least one horribly blown call. These umps are anything but championship caliber....

Binghamton Basketball Program Not Getting Any Better
After coach Kevin Broadus admitted to violating NCAA contact rules, the school banned him from off-campus recruiting. On-campus recruiting is limited watching frat pledges play NBA Live on their Xboxes. [ESPN]...

Fire Up The Self-Pity Machine, IT’S BLACK SUNDAY!
And so it was that, come Monday morning, the denizens of New England awoke to a world covered in thick, black ash. A world that knew neither hope nor joy, but only self-involved douchiness....

Josh McDaniels Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Josh McDaniels, who won the weekend by proving that he's not a foolishly incompetent man-child. Yes, the bar was set pretty low....

Great Moments In Ill-Considered Headlines
The Wall Street Journal commemorates the Red Sox sweep at the hands of the Angels with this doozy—"Boston Goes Down in a Fiery Crash." Wow, Nick Adenhart's memory was more inspiring than I thought. [WSJ]...

Someone Just Blew This Guy's Mind
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Cole Hamels Will Warp Your Mind
Take a good, long look at this "photo" atop Cole Hamels's official web site. Notice anything?...

Sorry For Not Hiring The Identical Twins (Yet)
Yes, yes, we know. Stop writing us about it. [NYTimes, third from last paragraph]...

Where's (The Great) Waldo?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Bad Beats: Do Not Bet This Man
A weekly look at smart plays, oddball propositions and all your tales of gambling woe....

Rockies-Phillies Game Called Off
It's going to be a little chilly in Denver this evening so Game 3 of the NLDS has been postponed until Sunday night. Don't worry, baseball players. No one thinks less of you. [Photo via Denver Post]...

Your Noontime College Football Thread
It's college football time. Let's see what's on tap for the early games.......