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You Say Horto Magico, Nick Calathes Says Show Me The Money
Sources say Florida point guard Nick Calathes will sign a $1.1 million deal — including a home, car and tax credits — with Panathinaikos in Greece, where Calathes holds dual citizenship. Panathinaikos, you say? Yep, that one. How could you forget? [Orlando Sentinel]...

A Carnivore's Guide To Yankee Stadium
The new Yankee Stadium may be a colossal disaster — Peter Gammons is the ballpark's latest critic — but the food is positively delectable. How one fan copped a $325 Legends Suite ticket and swindled the Yankees of $127 in concessions. The Yankees were just happy someone was there. [Time]...

Wanted: Poise, Splits, Knowledge Of Middle East Geography
To be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, you need exquisite dance technique, plenty of enthusiasm and poise, a vibrant personality and the ability to do high kicks and splits. Also, you should "look well-proportioned in dancewear." And you have to identify a country on Iraq's borders....

"Wouldn't It Be Amazing If LeBron Saved Our Season?"
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The One With The Story About The NBA-TV Lady's High School Days
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders, Redux
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Yuk It Up, Stoners. The Olympics Torch Looks Like A Doob.
At left is the official torch of the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, and, yes, I realize it looks like someone rolled up half of Humboldt County in the world's biggest Zig Zag....

Jeter On The Lam After Bank Robbery, Support Of PatriotsBlue Jays
Chad Floyd Jeter is wanted by police after allegedly robbing a bank in Alabama, while wearing a New England PatriotsBlue Jays cap misidentified by Alabama police as a Patriots hat. (Who did you think I was talking about?) He is considered armed and dangerously clutch. [Wicked Good Sports]...

Royals Fans Turn Children's Playground Into Thunderdome
Two couples started an all-out brawl at a Kansas City Royals game on Sunday after a woman walked in front another woman as she was taking a picture, a breech of etiquette that clearly deserves a head stomping. If a few kids got hurt along the way, that's just business....

Yankee Stadium Threatening To Get 100 Percent More Insufferable
Great news! The most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in college football wants to join forces with the most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in baseball. Yes, folks: Notre Dame wants to play football in shiny new Yankee Stadium....

Ricky Rubio Is Already Getting The Hang Of The American Game
The ping-pong balls have barely settled, and already Ricky Rubio, the mopheaded Spaniard who reminds everyone of Pistol Pete if Pistol Pete had discovered the defensive crouch, is strongarming teams in the NBA draft....

New Land Shark Stadium Upgrades Include Creepy Old Man Cam
There are plenty of new amenities for Parrotheads and Dolphinheads alike at Jimmy Buffet's Land Shark Stadium, but one of the most potentially troublesome is a device for the well-to-do horny fellas not interested in the game to eye-grope the cheerleaders....

This Is What Happens When You Annnounce A Woman's Age On Camera
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Wife Of Pitcher Scott Schoeneweis Found Dead
Gabrielle Dawn Schoeneweis, the wife of Arizona Diamondbacks reliever Scott Schoeneweis, was found unconscious in the family's home today and sheriff's deputies were unable to revive her when they arrived. No cause of death has been determined yet. She was 39. Terrible news. [Arizona Republic]...

Rudy Giuliani's Son Loses The Case Of "Duke vs. Spackler"
Andrew Giuliani used to play golf at Duke University until the coach that recruited him died, and the new coach realized that he was a terrible golfer. Andy sued after being booted from the team and the judge made him look stupid by quoting Caddyshack as he dismissed the case....

Ads For Women's Workout Clothes In Australia Are Extreme
Note to men: if you ever meet a woman wearing "Skins" workout apparel just walk away slowly. She will kill you. [CopyRanter]...

Selena Roberts On Whitlock: "Perhaps There's A Little Homophobia There"
This week's Deadcast guest is Selena Roberts, the author of A-Rod and columnist for SI. Did you know Selena is the daughter of hoboes? It's true!...

Clippers To Ruin Blake Griffin's Life
Los Angeles Clippers president Andy Roeser is in loooove with Blake Griffin and since his team won the NBA Draft Lottery, the Oklahoma forward will likely be next to join that house of horrors. He was such a nice boy too. [AP]...

In Canada It's Pronounced 'Coonty'
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

MLB.com Really Can't Figure Out This Whole Death Thing
According to MLB.com, Nick Adenhart is still the 35th best major league prospect. However, right above his profile, there is an editor's note explaining that he died....