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Bowler Rolls 300 Game, Is Immediately Admitted To Heaven
It sounds like something out of a really funny movie—or a really bad one—but some stories are just too surreal to be made up. Don Doane, a 62-year-old bowler from Ravenna, Michigan, waited his whole life for the moment every roller dreams of—a perfect game. A couple of weeks ago, he finally got his ...

Dispatches From The Phillies Victory Parade
Breaking News: We have a Daulerio sighting. Your Deadspin editor has been spotted at the Locust Bar at 235 S 10th St., engaged in drunken post-parade revelry with someone named Jim (and later, I'm sure, to be known as "Suspect B"). A courageous reader sent this cell phone shot at great personal risk...

Gentlemen, Start Your Hangovers
God only knows where Daulerio is or what he's doing at this hour; hopefully he wasn't involved in the carnage above. Was that a bus shelter? Anyway, the last I heard from him was in a garbled cell phone message, screaming something about attending today's Phillies' victory parade. So don't be surpri...

Happy Halloween From Drew Gooden
If you're looking for last-minute costume ideas for tonight, you could do worse than this. Tarantula? Upside-down view of Don King's hair? Witch's broom? Let your imagination be your guide. (Tattoos optional). Or if this doesn't appeal to you, why not go as Roy Williams? (Costume following the jump)...

Playboy Magazine Wants YOU, The Deadspin Commentariat!
As part of the ongoing whoredom of Men With Balls, I got a chance to sit down with Playboy editor Rocky Rakovic, whose magazine I've had the pleasure of stealing on many, many occasions. But Rocky also wanted to ask a question of you Deadspin commenter folks. He'll peruse your comments in this post...

The Deadspin Polygraph Test! Will Leitch!
Welcome to the Deadspin Polygraph Test, where I choose a random person in the sports world and subject them to a series of embarrassing and deeply personal questions, almost all of which involve sex or poop. They can only answer yes or no. Now, I don’t posses an actual polygraph machine here. So I’...

Your World Series Blogdome
What they’re saying around the nefarious pornwebs in the wake of Philadelphia winning their first major sports title in a quarter-century. PHILLY.COM: “Brad Lidge struck out Eric Hinske with an 0-2 slider at 9:58 p.m. last night at Citizens Bank Park to capture the Phillies' first World Series cham...

Us Did It! Phillies Are World Series Champions
They sure took their sweet time, but after the most adrenaline-packed three-and-a-half innings of baseball all year (maybe ever?) the Phillies take the lead twice, with the second one sticking for a 4-3 victory, vanquishing the Tampa Bay Rays in five games. Geoff Jenkins led off the game with a pinc...

World Series Game Five Live Blog 33-1/3: The Final Insult
Last time on "World Series Test Cricket," our Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays were tied 2-2 in the middle of the 6th inning. Please slip on the underwear you adorned on Tuesday (or, if you want to be accurate, Monday) and jump like it's October 27th. * * *Top 9th 3 ...

Unfortunate Babies Poised For Lifetime Of Regret
I'm quite certain that, should he win on Nov. 4, the first order of business in the new Barack Obama administration will be to end the practice of parents naming their children after sports stars. Sadly it's too late for little Cole and Chase Ryan, born just prior to Monday's Great Rain Delay and na...

Ethical Quandaries: What Should I Do With These Two Stubs That Could Pay This Month's Rent?
How much is three innings of baseball worth? As you can see, these seats are in the terrace deck of Citizens Bank Park (Sec. 426, row 3) , but are still going for $700 a pop on StubHub right now. That could buy me a whole crapload of macaroni. I'm torn. Do I want to be a part of history with my fat...

Mystery Phillies Bud Selig Chastiser Identified! (We Think)
Three sources have come forward to reveal the identity of the mystery Philadelphia Phillie responsible for the now-famous quote about Bud Selig on Monday. Upon seeing Selig in the Phillies' clubhouse following the postponement of Game 5 due to rain, a Phillies pitcher looked at him and said: "That f...

Loaded Feature Stories That Make It Abundantly Clear Why Newspapers Suck
Yes, that's Brett Myers, Phillies number two pitcher, who many of you only know as the man who punched his wife in the face outside a Boston bar back in June of 2006. Given his penchant for violence and dickheaded outbursts, it would seem completely ridiculous for a newspaper to do a feature story o...

Puny Philadelphians; You Will Never Stop The Carnival Cruise Six-Story Piñata Of Doom
Despite its wish not to jinx the Phillies by prematurely planning a World Series victory parade, the City of Philadelphia tipped its hand on Tuesday in the most unlikely of ways; by disrespecting the world's largest piñata. It seems that Carnival Cruise Lines has spent months planning a huge event i...

Cutler's Beirut Arm Is Stronger Than Elway's
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap "These pictures were taken @ the Tin Roof in Nashville where Jay Cutler spent homecoming. I guess Jay took the 10-7 loss to Duke pretty hard and wanted to show off his Beirut skill...

New Guitar Hero Ad Gives You A Whole New Reason To Hate Tom Cruise
We mentioned this only in passing last week, because a) it was Friday afternoon, b) we didn't have an embeddable version of the video yet, and c) it's pretty embarrassing for everyone involved, including the viewer. You've probably seen Alex Rodriguez, Tony Hawk, Michael Phelps and Kobe Bryant bring...

Time To Play: Guess Which Phillie Ripped Bud Selig?
Generally I don't use anonymous quotes, unless it's concerning something really big, like when a member of the Phillies sees Bud Selig in the clubhouse following the Game 5 rain delay and utters the immortal line: "I wouldn't let him supervise one of my shits." Who is this mystery poet? Personally m...

And It's A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall
I have to laugh at everyone who contends that God, Mother Nature, Snow Miser or whomever is cursing the Phillies with this rainout business. For a quick read on why we're still playing Game 5 of the World Series more than 24 hours after it should have ended, just check the calendar. It's nearly frea...

Karl Ravech Is In No Mood To Humor You, Steve Phillips
Sitting in the dangerously wet and windy confines of the centerfield Baseball Tonight perch for three hours, only to walk away empty handed with a six-inning tie, will sour anyone's night. So when a horrible ex-GM decides to run way out to left field for an ill-timed, poorly executed, and borderline...

Life Lessons in Philadelphia Fandom: Nothing Comes Easy
So, Leitch just asked me this question: What would be worse — if the Phillies won the World Series on the five-inning mother nature rule or if they go on to lose this thing in 7 after this? I had to think about it. Obviously, if the Phillies lose this outright in the next three games (whenever those...