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Clearing The 1 o'clock Table...
• San Diego 7, Kansas City 20. So, what did you use for pregame motivation, Marty, the tape of Jim Mora screaming, "PLAYOFFS? PLAYOFFS?!" I feel much pain. • Buffalo 37, Cincinnati 27. Rough day for Chad Johnson. First, someone stole his reindeer (I HATE YOU, whoever it was), and then, they lose to ...
Someone Stole Chad Johnson's Reindeer
Never will you see someone who just scored a touchdown walk to the sidelines with such dejection. Chad Johnson took one to the house against Buffalo, but could not find his reindeer afterwards....
Week In Deadspin: Idiot, Idiot Everywhere
It's half-day Friday before the holidays, so we're wrapping up for the day. Honestly, you should leave too; traffic's gonna suck....
Still Selling T-Shirts. We'll Make This Quick.
We're just about done with these, promise....
Sweet Lord, Let Him Not Be Kidding
Last week, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson disappointed us — and pretty much every sports fan we know — by scoring a touchdown and simply handing the ball back to the ref....
Roy Oswalt, Ditch Digger
The night Roy Oswalt dominated the Cardinals and took a metaphorical bulldozer to Busch Stadium. Apparently, that night, Astros owner Drayton McLane promised he would, if he beat the Cardinals, buy Oswalt a Caterpillar D6N XL bulldozer. Well, Oswalt, as you might remember, kicked ass that night....
NFL Roundup: Sad Colts, Happy Bolts
• We'll confess, we were actually kind of rooting for the Colts not to finish 16-0. Not because we have anything against them — we don't, save for maybe a suspicion that Edgerrin James did a guest spot on the seventh floor crew — but because we will never have faith in Tony Dungy and Peyton Chessn...
FIRE MILLEN
Sorry about the headline, I just felt left out. Everyone else is chanting it or holding a sign. I wanted to join the parade....
Week In Deadspin: A Marquee QB Story
• Matt Leinart sent a lot of people to our site, and then tried to make it clear nothing happened at all. For the record, as part of our job description, we believe no one. • We gave Skip Bayless the royal treatment, and no matter how mean we might have been, we still felt too nice. • Some things ...
Athlete Run-In: Chad Johnson's Side Job
Today's final athlete run-in story comes to us from another blog, actually, the creatively named Positively Verisimilitude-esque. Like a lot of Deadspin readers, surprisingly, the author is a beleaguered law student; the more law students we hear from, the happier we are that we didn't try very ha...
More Shameless T-Shirt Shilling
If you haven't bought your Free Darko T-shirt yet — ours just arrived in the mail today, and it's sure to cause confusion for everyone we run into at the gym — the benevolent overlords here at Gawker Media would like us to once again encourage you to check out the Gawker Shop store, where you can ge...
Freddie Mitchell: Still Alive, Apparently
Well, last night was Terrell Owens' 32nd birthday party in Atlantic City, and reports are filing in. Not surprisingly, the biggest star of the show was former Eagles receiver Freddie Mitchell, or, as he might be known, "Terrell Owens if Terrell Owens was 85 percent less talent and 27 percent more...
Get Your Comment Invites Here!
Honestly, one of our favorite parts of doing this job is checking out the comments: We are proud to say that we have the smartest, most thoughtful and hilarious commenters on this little sports corner of the Interweb, and we thank you for it. And yes, we're kissing your ass....
Shuffling Off At Rest, Satiated, With Ray King Finally Gone
Former Cardinals relief pitcher Ray King was traded to the Colorado Rockies last Thursday, for equally useless spare parts Aaron Miles and Larry Bigbie. King had once been a popular Cardinal — his rotund nature is a sure-fire crowd pleaser; after the Cardinals clinched the World Series trip in 200...
Owens Has Plenty Of Time To Party
Tomorrow night, in Atlantic City, N.J. — "we're like Vegas, only, you know, with more cutoff T-shirts with "I'm With Stupid" printed on them" — former Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens will celebrate his 32nd birthday. ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported that invitations were left in Eagles players' ...
"Greed — For Lack Of A Better Word — Is Good."
Well, it might have taken a little longer than some might have expected, and it might have been for those always-vague, always-intriguing "personal reasons," but the moment we all knew was inevitable is finally here: Pat Riley is back coaching the Miami Heat again....
Rocky Mountain Low
Those of you following the Colorado racist email story — essentially, a football player and his cross-country running girlfriend sent a nasty racist email to Latino cross-country runner Greg Castro — probably already know that the football player Clint O'Neal and his girlfriend Jackie Zeigle have ...
Buffs Football Program Continues To Shine
It is not the proudest of times for the Colorado football program. An offensive tackle has been suspended for sending a racist e-mail to a Hispanic member of the cross country team. The guy's girlfriend, also a member of the cross country team, also had something to do with it, and she has quit th...
The Weak Have Become Strong
In another sign of an incredibly weak NFC, the Giants, who are supposed to be one of the conference's best, are tied at the half with the Eagles, who are playing without their best 18 players. Ryan Moats has 89 rushing yards and two touchdowns in the first half....
Non-Chad Johnson TDs Suck
Instead of fining Chad Johnson for excessive touchdown celebrations, Paul Tagliabue should start fining Bengals who score TDs that aren't named Chad Johnson....