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Adam Gase Is Out Of Excuses
To list all the problems that plagued the Jets last night would be futile and time-consuming. That laugh-track loss to the Patriots, which snuffed out any cautious optimism that might have flowered from last week’s promising win over the Cowboys, speaks for itself. But going forward, the overarching...
If You’re Defending Tom Brady’s Cheap Martyr Routine, You’re Fucking Pathetic
The scene is good. In case you missed it, have a gander below at the now-infamous scene from the new Paul Rudd show Living With Myself where Tom Brady strolls out of a massage parlor:...
What In God's Name Happened To Jordan Tebbutt?
Steve Blake was eager for a game. Fresh off signing a deal with the Trail Blazers in the summer of 2014, the guard stepped onto the court at ClubSport Portland to commemorate his second stint in Rip City. ...
Mikko Rantanen's Leg Did Something Legs Aren't Supposed To Do
It seems only fair to show you this before you’ve had breakfast. So: wanna see something gross?...
Bill Belichick Delights In Tormenting The Hapless Jets
Viewers who hadn’t already slipped into a coma Monday night will have noticed a funny sequence early in the fourth quarter of the Patriots’ blowout victory over a spectacularly inept Jets team. A pair of declined penalties against New England’s punt team produced the ultra-rare scene of Bill Belichi...
Mike Leach, Convinced Of His Own Cleverness, Tells Unbearably Long Joke About Lip Reading
Asked Monday evening whether he’s nervous for next week’s matchup against No. 11 Oregon, where four of his former assistants now work, Mike Leach used the opportunity to take a swipe at football coaches so paranoid about their plays being found out that they cover their mouths while talking on the s...
The First Round Of MLS Playoffs Was Beautiful Chaos
Every single game of MLS’s opening weekend of playoffs was a glorious mess. There were six matchups in the first round, and five of the six ended in one-goal wins; the one exception finished 5–1, but only after one team scored four goals in an extra time that the other team had forced with a stoppag...
The Cowboys Bulldozed The Eagles Off The Field And Now Doug Pederson Has Some Explaining To Do
After a build-up in which head coach Doug Pederson was so confident in his team that he spoke of beating the Cowboys as a when, not if, scenario, the Eagles flew into Dallas and suffered the most humiliating loss of Pederson’s tenure. With the whole country watching them against a division rival, Ph...
Mexican Soccer Game Abandoned After Fans Start Beating The Crap Out Of Each Other
A Liga MX match between Querétaro and Atlético San Luis was abandoned with five minutes remaining on Sunday due to extreme fan violence. As the game neared its conclusion with visiting Querétaro leading 2-0, rival fans in the stadium started brawling....
Wisconsin's First Loss Of The Season Came At The Hands Of...Illinois?
Right, so none of the things that happened were actually supposed to happen. The undefeated No. 6 Badgers were supposed to dismantle 2-4 Illinois. Jonathan Taylor, the best running back in the country, was supposed to front Wisconsin’s first-rate ground game. Illinois, winless against Big Ten oppone...
Buddy Hield Openly Roasts The City Of Sacramento While Negotiating A New Deal With The Kings
The Sacramento Kings, who have been very bad for a while, were pleasantly, surprisingly not as bad last season, in part because of Buddy Hield’s breakout performance. The guard led the team in scoring last season and will likely do so again this season, but he’s recently made some noise about how th...
Architect Of Baffling Broncos Fake Punt Also Responsible For Historically Bad Colts Trick Play
Reasonable people can debate the Broncos’ decision to run a fake punt early in the second quarter of Thursday’s poopshow loss to the Chiefs. The actual play itself, however, and/or the execution of said play, was something truly special....
<i>El Clásico</i> Postponed Due To Anti-Government Protests Throughout Barcelona
With anti-government, pro-independence protests raging in Catalonia this week, La Liga decided on Friday to postpone the upcoming league match between Barcelona and Real Madrid, which was set to be held on October 26 in Barcelona. No date has been given for the rescheduled match, though both clubs h...
Adam Silver Says The Chinese Government Asked Him To Fire Daryl Morey
Adam Silver appeared at a Time magazine event this morning in New York City, where he spoke on the roiling controversy his organization has been in since Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey expressed a modicum of support for the Hong Kong protests. It was Silver’s first interview on the subject since ret...
Oh Great, La Liga Is Trying To Bring A Regular Season Game To Miami Again
A year ago, the dipshits in charge of Spain’s top soccer league and some dipshits on the American sports marketing scene conked their little pea-brains together and came up with a 15-year contract that would see one La Liga match played in the United States every season. Because the parties involved...
What's Wrong With The Baseballs Is What's Wrong With Baseball
Something is definitely up. There is data, and it points in a specific direction, but also there are some long shadows and heavy circumstances and longstanding and well-founded suspicions in play as well. But we might as well start with the data....
Here's A Humiliating Way To Lose Your First Game Of The Season
The Colorado Avalanche looked unstoppably good through their first five games of the NHL season, going 5-0-0 against their early competition. But too bad for them tonight, the Pittsburgh Penguins knew their weakness: Gabriel Landeskog can’t defend shorthanded overtime goals when he’s in the crease....
Myles Garrett Says Some Weak Sucker Asked Him For A Photo Then Punched Him
Who would do something like this to Myles Garrett? It’s a deeply shitty thing to sucker-punch someone, and it’s especially futile in this case, since Garrett is a 6-foot-4, 272-pound defensive end for the Cleveland Browns. It would take a grizzly bear to damage him!...
The USMNT Is An Absolute Joke, And It's All U.S. Soccer's Fault
There’s a good chance that a significant number of people reading this article weren’t even alive the last time Canada beat the United States in soccer, on April 2, 1985. Thirty-four years later, and almost exactly two years since the atrocity in Couva, the USMNT has once again fallen to our neighbo...
The Siege And Fall Of A Hoops Haven That Made All The Wrong Enemies
In Philadelphia, a ghost was born....