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Even In Defeat, Bryce Harper Owns The Hell Out Of Hunter Strickland
A funny moment occurred in the seventh inning of Tuesday night’s game between the Washington Nationals and the Philadelphia Phillies. Bryce Harper, pinch-hitting in the night game after starting the first leg of today’s doubleheader, came to the plate to face Nationals reliever and personal nemesis ...
FIFA's The Best Awards Are The Worst
In what universe is Marcelo still one of the best defenders in the world? Not in this one, or any other where performances on the field or even the amorphous “club success” criteria apply. The only place where Marcelo could be considered a starter in a world’s best XI is one where nothing matters to...
NFL Rules Are Just Suggestions
Tom Brady was watching Titans-Jaguars Thursday night and, like every other person with functional eyes, did not enjoy the experience. Only he overcame his revulsion and fear of being found out, tweeting about it and saying all the holding penalties were ruining his fun....
Mike Francesa Stirred From Years-Long Nap To Appear In Feature Film
Apologies to Kevin Garnett, but he’s been upstaged by Mike Francesa as the most intriguing sports-adjacent figure to appear in the upcoming movie Uncut Gems. In the anxiety-inducing trailer, radio’s drowsiest fella dons pinstripes, fits the film’s NYC milieu perfectly, and nails his line delivery: “...
Malcolm Gladwell's Penn State Rabbit Hole Isn't Very Deep
Malcolm Gladwell emailed me last Thursday, in response to a blog post I had written about his recent appearance on Bill Simmons’s podcast, in which he dusted off a tired defense of Joe Paterno’s role in the Jerry Sandusky abuse scandal. He offered to send me a copy of his new book, which he said mig...
Heartbreaking: Dan Snyder Won't Buy This Man A Spoon
In what is absolutely not a metaphor for Jay Gruden’s coaching and [gestures vaguely at Washington’s routine ascendance to new frontiers of dysfunction], the Monday Night Football broadcast caught a team employee on Washington’s sideline stirring a cooler full of Gatorade with what appears to be a p...
Of Course The Skins Misspelled London Fletcher's Name During His Ring Of Honor Ceremony
Dan Snyder’s football clown show spent halftime of their Monday night meltdown loss inducting retired linebacker London Fletcher into the Ring of Honor of their miserable, far-flung hell-hole of a stadium. Fletcher spent less than half of his career in Washington and won zero playoff games, but wha...
This Should Be Good: Russia Has To Explain How Positive Drug Tests Got Deleted From Its Doping Laboratory Data
Russia has three weeks to explain how positive drug test results were deleted from data sent to the World Anti-Doping Agency, which is still investigating Russia’s intricate years-long doping scheme that involving passing urine samples through a secret hole in a laboratory wall and got the country s...
Roger Federer And Rafael Nadal Were Obscene And Hilarious As Coaches At The Laver Cup
The Laver Cup, which took place this past weekend in Geneva, is the most entertaining exhibition format tennis has devised to date. The semi-scripted feel hits the spot, and by recasting the tour’s most famous rivals as allies, there’s an element of fan service. You get to watch 39 majors’ worth of ...
The Man Who Would Kill Horse Racing
In a garden-variety suburb outside Albany—a recent July morning, but it could have been any morning—Patrick Battuello woke up at five, brewed a cup of coffee, and then sat at his computer to review the previous day’s horse races. He’s done this every day for the last six years. This was a Monday, an...
Tom Brady Rambles Incomprehensibly About Society When Asked About Antonio Brown
The New England Patriots cut wide receiver Antonio Brown on Friday, but nobody on the team will say why. When Brown signed with the Pats barely a week earlier, it was already known that he was a rebellious guy with a weird thing about helmets. But in the short time he was on New England, he was sued...
Hero At Scene Of Philadelphia Fire Drops Burn On Nelson Agholor
Three people were hospitalized and 10 people were displaced by an overnight fire at an apartment building in West Philadelphia. But the reason you’re reading about this particular local news report on this here sports website is because a man who came upon the scene and literally began catching chil...
Keanu Neal Penalized For Unsportsmanlike Conduct After Throwing Helmet In Injury-Related Frustration
Falcons safety Keanu Neal suffered a pretty bad injury to his leg just before halftime against the Colts on Saturday. That much became clear when he threw his helmet in frustration and was crying by the time the training staff got to him. While the pain certainly played a part in his emotional state...
Lions' No. 35 Unmasks Eagles' No. 26, Reveals Him To Be Miles Sanders
None of us can ever know the true identities of those who play in the NFL. Shrouded in armor—with helmets covering most of their faces, and jerseys that reveal merely half of their true names—American football players work in the shadows, anonymous to all but their closest friends and family members...
Crowd Gets Furious After UFC Main Event Stoppage; Announcer Hides Under Table
The main event of UFC Fight Night: Yair Rodríguez vs. Jeremy Stephens on Saturday night ended in a no contest after just 15 seconds when an accidental eye poke by Rodríguez on Stephens meant that the American couldn’t continue, even after the allotted five minutes of recovery time. The Mexico City c...
Charles Woodson Has Had Enough Of The Michigan Wolverines
Jim Harbaugh and the Wolverines had their asses handed to them in a 35-14 loss to Wisconsin on Saturday afternoon. Michigan was fresh off a bye, mercifully given two weeks to prepare for the Badgers and their scary-good running back Jonathan Taylor, and it went about as poorly as it could go. Michig...
Iowa Reopens Investigation Into Assaults On Marching Band After Students Call Bullshit On Initial Admin Response
University of Iowa administrators have reopened an investigation into reports of physical assault, as well as sexual and verbal abuse, against the marching band at the hands of Iowa State fans last Saturday, according to a report from Vanessa Miller of The Gazette. The decision comes after members o...
The NBA's Dumb New Tampering Rules Are Rolling Out
So, this is silly: The NBA Board of Governors unanimously passed a stricter package of anti-tampering rules. Small-market teams scared of voracious big-market rivals, teams recently burned in free agency, and teams who just want to vote in lockstep so as not to look suspicious—whatever their varying...
Calvin Johnson: Lions Made Me "Change My Story" About Concussion
Calvin Johnson sat down for an interview with Sports Illustrated to discuss his NFL career and the reasons behind his early retirement from football. Johnson comes across as a guy who is very much at peace with how his career turned out, and who isn’t shy about revealing some of the uglier aspects o...
Even Vlad Guerrero Jr. Had To Appreciate Austin Hays Robbing His Home Run
If the catch of the year happens in a late September baseball game between the Orioles and Blue Jays that maybe a few hundred people on Earth watched live, is it still the catch of the year?...