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Don't Worry, The Sacramento Kings Are Still Dumb As Dogshit
The Sacramento Kings—the NBA’s most laughable franchise and, by ESPN’s estimation, the most miserable team in pro sports—finally had a good season. They didn’t make the playoffs, but they finished 39-43, a 12-win improvement over the previous season. De’Aaron Fox and Buddy Hield took big steps up, t...

In His Fifth Appearance Of The Season, Trevor Rosenthal Finally Recorded An Out
If you haven’t spent all of your pity on walking tragedy Chris Davis, whose hitless streak reached 50 at-bats last night, spare some for Nationals reliever Trevor Rosenthal. After missing an entire season to Tommy John surgery and getting released by the Cardinals, Rosenthal landed in Washington thi...

Las Vegas Aces Choose Jackie Young Over Asia Durr In WNBA Draft
For the third year in a row, the Las Vegas Aces franchise had the first pick in the WNBA draft, and after selecting first-year All-Star and Rookie of the Year A’Ja Wilson in 2018, the worst team in the West took Notre Dame guard Jackie Young with their first pick in 2019....

Dwyane Wade Will Always Be Miami's Favorite Son
And so we come to Dwyane Wade’s final game. Wednesday night’s showdown in Brooklyn will mean nothing to the Heat but everything to Miami. After the Pistons beat the Grizzlies on Tuesday, the Heat were mathematically eliminated from playoff contention, victims of a cold streak in April that snuffed o...

Heat Fans Made Sure To Give Paul Pierce A Memorable Send-Off, Too
Dwyane Wade’s year-long retirement tour reached its climax last night, when Wade started and played 34 minutes in his final home game as a member of the Miami Heat (this thanks to the Detroit Pistons, whose comeback win against the Grizzlies eliminated the Heat from the playoffs). Wade said goodbye ...

It's A Beer Commercial
Ahead of what could be Dwyane Wade’s final NBA home game tonight, a beer company released an advertisement highlighting the Miami Heat player and his generosity. Wade and his wife Gabrielle Union are well-known for their charitable work and activism: The basketball player has established a college s...

Who's Keeping The NHL Out Of Quebec City?
Go to a New York Islanders game at Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York, and you will be treated to a relatively quiet evening. One whole end of the arena sits empty because it overhangs one of the nets, making it impossible to see the action from that vantage point. The rest of the arena isn’t lac...

Tom Brady’s Shady Guru Alex Guerrero Isn’t Ready To Give Up His Pseudoscience Or His Control
The following is excerpted from No One Man Should Have All That Power: How Rasputins Manipulate the World, by Amos Barshad, out today. Published by Abrams Books....

De'Andre Hunter Was Worth The Wait
It was, right up until it wasn’t, the sort of tournament that can crumble a draft stock. Virginia’s De’Andre Hunter, a projected lottery pick, had had a mediocre (by his standards) tournament, averaging 11.25 points per game over his previous four, and failing to score more than 14—still below his s...

Rangers Teammates Celebrate Two-Run Dong By Grabbing Each Other's Dingers
It’d be safe to assume that Joey Gallo and Nomar Mazara are friends, as they’ve played on the Texas Rangers together for four seasons and love to mash taters, but as this post-homer celebration shows, they’re really good friends....

Diego Costa Red Carded For Threatening To Poop On Referee's Mother
Luis Suárez and Lionel Messi each scored in Barcelona’s 2-0 win over Atlético Madrid on Saturday to all but mathematically seal the league title, but no one player did more to ensure Barça’s victory than Atleti’s Diego Costa, who got red carded early on in the match for literally talking shit about ...

How To Lose Everything And Get Some Of It Back
It’s 1993 and an addict is tending bar, probably the worst possible job for an addict besides, maybe, professional basketball player in the 1970s....

Idiot In The Ring Tackles Bret Hart During WWE Hall Of Fame Ceremony
Tonight’s WWE Hall of Fame ceremony in Brooklyn was briefly derailed when a person in a rasta cap jumped into the ring and took down wrestler Bret Hart during his speech. How much did Vince McMahon pay that guy?...

Bryce Harper's Attempt At Hurdling Willians Astudillo Could Have Gone Better
A frequent, but debatable, criticism of Bryce Harper’s game over the years has been his occasional lack of effort. So naturally, when the opportunity arose for the new Phillies signing to show some gusto with his base running, things went pretty awry....

Commissioner For A Day: Let’s Make Kickoffs Worth Something
Dom Cosentino is now the NFL commissioner… in this video we made. Join me and Dom in Commissioner for a Day, the show that gives one Deadspin staffer unlimited power to change one rule in a sport of their choice....

Giannis Antetokounmpo Proved Something To Joel Embiid
Everyone’s just waiting for the NBA playoffs to hurry up and start already, but last night’s game between the Sixers and Bucks promised to be the last regular-season contest worth checking in on. It did not disappoint....

Eric Bledsoe Ejected Less Than Three Minutes Into Bucks-Sixers After Chucking The Ball At Joel Embiid's Chest
One of the defining moments of Eric Bledsoe’s short career with the Bucks so far happened in the first round of last year’s playoffs when he allowed Celtics guard Terry Rozier to punk him in Games 1 and 2 of the series, pretended to not know who Rozier was, and then allowed himself to get punked aga...

Sixers Co-Owner: Robert Kraft Now Better Understands Racial Profiling After He Was Busted For Solicitation
At a sports business conference on Wednesday, Michael Rubin, a minority owner of the Philadelphia 76ers, was asked about Robert Kraft’s recent troubles with the law, given that the Patriots owner is a friend of his. In his response, Rubin reported that the incident has sparked a sudden sociopolitica...
