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Moron President Gives Defense Department Four Months To Craft Service Academy Athletics Policy He Himself Axed
Having previously bragged about his intention to look into such a thing, our sleazy doofus of a president has taken the first formal step toward instituting a policy that would allow service academy athletes to defer their military service obligations in order to pursue careers in professional spor...

Barstool Sports' Dave Portnoy Actually Trembles While Being Asked About Harassing Women
Nothing was done to that GIF above. Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, the HBO show covering all things sports and/or Bryant Gumbel, had a segment on Barstool Sports in last night’s episode, and there’s site founder Dave Portnoy quivering as he’s interviewed by Soledad O’Brien. He’s one followup questi...

Egyptian Soccer Player Kicked Off National Team After Getting Exposed As A Sex Pest On Social Media
The Egyptian national soccer team, currently competing in the African Cup of Nations, announced today that they have booted midfielder Amr Warda out of their AFCON squad after several women revealed evidence of Warda being a DM-sliding, unsolicited dick pic-sending creep....

Argentine Soccer Team Orchestrates On-Field Sit-In To Protest Red Cards
In the second leg of their promotion playoff final against Alvarado, players from third-tier Argentine soccer club San Jorge de Tucumán decided to protest what they considered two unfair first-half red cards by sitting down in the middle of the field and refusing to move or play. This lasted about t...

Commissioner For A Day: Let's Institute Geographic Relegation
This is a scintillating idea that I have previously put forward, with much more clarity and much less stammering, in blog form. ...

The Cubs Fell Ass Backwards Into A Very Dumb Double Play
I don’t know why Javy Baez (or whoever’s giving him signals) would have so much faith that a pitcher making only his third plate appearance in the major leagues would be able to hold up his end of the suicide squeeze, but the overconfidence of Baez and the pure stupidity of Willson Contreras over on...

Report: Oh God Yes, The Toxic Rockets Are Pursuing Jimmy Butler
If there’s one thing a top-heavy Western Conference contender built on the ball-dominant shot-creation of two ornery superstars locked in an “unsalvageable” personality conflict needs, it is an infusion of noted mature adult in the room and agreeable teammate Jimmy Butler. Thankfully, that is exactl...

Let's Remember Some Guys: They Enlarged Greg Minton's Teeth
There is something about a mustache that disorients a person. It is a grooming decision first and foremost, but also and in a broader sense it is a choice. Growing a bunch of hair on your upper lip and then getting like marinara sauce and old bits of cake in it is, at bottom, a decision that you mak...

Marcus Stroman May As Well Have Worn A "Please Trade For Me!" Sign Into Yankee Stadium
Two things that we know for sure are that the New York Yankees are going to acquire some starting pitching before this year’s trade deadline, and that the Toronto Blue Jays are big-time ass. The Blue Jays are also in possession of 28-year-old starter Marcus Stroman, who, along with everyone else, s...

Public Service Announcement: Please Stop Interrupting Dodgers Games To Hug Cody Bellinger
In the bottom of the eighth inning Monday night in Arizona, a young woman ran from the stands and into right field, where she appeared to awkwardly hug Dodgers superstar Cody Bellinger. Needless to say, this ended with the young woman being arrested....
![Kansas City Radio Chud Drags Andy Reid's Dead Son Into Criticism Of Reid's Coaching Ability [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/bxtepsfvgrcebclkyrns.png)
Kansas City Radio Chud Drags Andy Reid's Dead Son Into Criticism Of Reid's Coaching Ability [Updates]
A lowlife Kansas City radio host invoked the 2012 death of Andy Reid’s son Garrett as part of an overarching criticism of Reid’s approach to personal accountability, in yet another sign that sports radio should be made illegal immediately....

Luka Dončić, True To Form, Dominates Rookie Of The Year Voting
Dallas Mavericks sensation Luka Dončić won Rookie of the Year honors Monday night at the annual NBA Awards, inexplicably broadcast live on TNT, which presumably ran out of rerun episodes of Bones with which to fill their primetime schedule....

Canada Must Wait Four More Years To Discover What It Might Be Like To Win Big In The World Cup
When former Canadian national team player and current TSN pundit Kaylyn Kyle criticized the USWNT for their goal celebrations during the historic 13-0 win over Thailand by saying, “I think, as a Canadian, we would just never ever think about doing something like that,” it raised the question of whet...

Adam Eaton: Actually, The Financial Struggles Of Minor League Players Are A Good Thing
Kelyn Soong of Washington City Paper recently covered the lives of a couple players on the Nationals’ Triple-A affiliate: the Potomac Nationals. The story focuses on the financial difficulties that minor league ball players face while trying to chase their dreams of making it in MLB. It’s a not-so-f...

Wilkin Castillo's First MLB Hit In Over A Decade Was A Go-Ahead RBI Double
For the first time in over 10 years, 35-year-old Wilkin Castillo got a hit in the majors, and it was a pretty sweet one at that. In the top of seventh with two outs against the Phillies, Castillo smoked an RBI double into right field that sent two runners home and gave the Marlins a lead they wouldn...

P.K. Subban Traded To The Devils
Holy shit, a big-name hockey trade!...

Is This Kyrie Irving Scolding Celtics Fans Under An Alias On Boston Talk Radio?
Thursday morning a man going by the name of Mikey in Waltham called in to the Zolak & Bertrand radio show on 98.5 The Sports Hub in Boston to participate in a wide-ranging conversation about the state of the Boston Celtics. It’s been a rough time for Celtics fans—their team disappointed last season,...

The Suns Were Up To Some Suns-Type Foolishness On Draft Night
With the caveat that no one knows anything about how this will turn out in the long term, it’s fair to say that the Phoenix Suns had a strange 2019 NBA Draft. They dropped in the rejiggered draft lottery to land with the sixth pick, then dropped another five spots Thursday night via a genuinely head...

Jack Flaherty Gets Picked Off To End The Game, Soaks In His Failure On The Field
This has happened to the Cardinals before, albeit on a much bigger stage. St. Louis was down 7-6 in the bottom of the 11th inning, with two outs and pinch-runner Jack Flaherty on second base, when Marlins reliever Sergio Romo whipped around for a game-ending pickoff, to the dismay of the home crowd....

The Phillies' Leadoff Problem Is Compounding Their Even Larger Bryce Harper Problem
The Washington Nationals finished off a weather-shortened three-game series sweep of the Philadelphia Phillies Thursday night. The Phillies are in a bit of a swoon, having lost eight of their last 13 games. That stretch isn’t so arbitrary as it might seem—Andrew McCutchen succumbed to a season-endin...