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Lonzo Ball Would Prefer To Be Traded Where He Can Start Right Away, Just As I Would Prefer To Stalk My Enemies From Atop A Mighty Tyrannosaur
The Lakers are expected to offer some combination of young foundational players to the Pelicans in exchange for Anthony Davis, who requested a trade from New Orleans over the weekend. The most prominent of those young players is one Lonzo Ball, who by this time last year was viewed as the crown jew...

NBA Investigating Anthony Davis Trade Request For Signs Of Self-Tampering
Anthony Davis has requested a trade from the New Orleans Pelicans, a half-assed basketball operation that squandered all but a few hours of his NBA career to date. Adrian Wojnarowski reported it; he had the scoop because Rich Paul, Davis’s agent, told him. Just a few hours later, the Pelicans public...

The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Plank Fight
Sun Tzu probably had some quote about using the weapons you have available to you to defeat your opponent on the battlefield or whatever, and while I don’t know about any of that apocryphal bullshit, I can say with 100 percent certainty that these two ruddy English lads embody the spirit of resource...

Golfer Loses $100,000 Thanks To Bullshit Violation Of New Rule
Haotong Li should have finished in a five-way tie for third place at last weekend’s Dubai Desert Classic. It would have been a somewhat disappointing finish given that he came into the final round only one shot off of the leader’s pace, though he still would have left the United Arab Emirates with a...

Right Now There Is No Answer To Novak Djokovic
Novak Djokovic heaped pre-match praise on his final Australian Open opponent, because it was a deeply familiar one. “Nadal has historically throughout my life and career been the greatest rival that I ever played against on all the surfaces,” he said of their 52-match tug-of-war, which had split 27-...

A Brief History Of Dan Snyder’s Superyachts, Which Have Put Him In Elizabeth Warren's Crosshairs
The two greatest days in Dan Snyder’s life are the day he buys a boat, and the day he buys a bigger boat....

<i>Madden</i> Is As Full Of Anonymous Players As The NFL Itself
It’s hardly a selling point, but this year’s edition of Madden has the real Kyle Lauletta. The game’s rendering of the Giants’ rookie quarterback—who stepped into a blowout win against Washington in Week 13 to throw five incompletions and a pick and then meekly returned to clipboard and donut-gofer ...

"Ninja Headbands" Are Taking Over The NBA And I Am Here For It
Traditional headbands are gross and lame. It’s a minimal loop of terrycloth designed specifically just to keep a disgusting bodily fluid from dripping into your eyes, so honestly it’s a wonder that something so guaranteed to be completely radioactive at the end of games ever gained even a modicum of...

Report: Anthony Davis Requests Trade Out Of New Orleans
Anthony Davis has asked the New Orleans Pelicans to trade him “to a team that allows him a chance to win consistently and compete for a championship,” his agent, Rich Paul, told ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski in a report this morning. That trade, if it eventually happens, could be one of the most consequ...

Corey Brewer Celebrates Two-Handed Flush With A Kick To Torrey Craig's Head
In a 126-110 losing effort against the Denver Nuggets, Corey Brewer proved to be one of the bright spots for the Philadelphia 76ers on Saturday. The 32-year-old wing put up 20 points, six rebounds and secured four steals in his 32 minutes of action. But his most impressive highlight was the one tech...

Oh Look, An Owner Of An MLB Team Has Brought Up Another Excuse To Not Pay Bryce Harper Or Manny Machado Their Worth
Astros owner Jim Crane was the latest team owner to give his opinion on why stars like Bryce Harper and Manny Machado aren’t receiving the blockbuster contracts many expected them to sign this offseason. At a team event on Friday, Crane, whose net worth is an estimated $2.5 billion, told reporters t...
![Brianna Decker Will Get Her Prize Money After All, Just Not From The NHL [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/fvojgonn3udv0m4czjjk.jpg)
Brianna Decker Will Get Her Prize Money After All, Just Not From The NHL [Update]
In what can only be described as the smallest of hat tips to diversity and inclusion, U.S. women’s national team hockey player Brianna Decker was brought out to demonstrate the premier passing drill at the NHL All-Star skills event on Friday. While the league never bothered to show her demonstration...

Curt Schilling Goes On Radio, Melts Down As He Defends Liking And Sharing Memes
In his sixth go-round, former baseball pitcher Curt Schilling received 60.9 percent in the Hall of Fame vote. He’s on pace to get in within his 10 years of eligibility. (Though this blog argues for his induction, I don’t personally care if he does and hope he doesn’t. Why? Because fuck him, that’s w...

Cashless Stadiums Are The Next Frontier In Fan Exploitation
The Tampa Bay Rays announced today that they would become the first major American sports team to stop accepting cash at their stadium, forcing fans to either pay via credit card or something called a “Rays card.” This shift is roughly coterminous with their recent decision to eliminate 5,000 of the...

It's Happening Again
Rafael Nadal had booked his room in the final, with two whole days to ready himself for it. He drained the blood out of Stefanos Tsitsipas, just as he did to the last two kids trying to prematurely usher in the future. All Novak Djokovic had to do was wrap up one last errand today, and he didn’t daw...

Spend Exactly None Of Your Time Killing Time
Here’s a good resolution, if you’re the sort of person who resolves to do good and healthy things and then maintains any hope of actually doing them: Resolve to divide your waking hours exactly and only between doing things you should be doing, and doing things you want to be doing....

Steven Adams Unleashes World's Worst Euro-Step
Steven Adams is a big heavy metal-looking Kiwi monster who does cool basketball things all the time, and this season he’s played his way into serious All-Star consideration by being efficient as shit and co-anchoring one of the NBA’s best defenses. Mostly he’s stayed pretty chill through all this, b...

Deadspin Up All Night: A River That Rolls
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....
![Jamal Adams Says He Didn't Mean To Light Up Patriots Mascot [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mr37923bh6d3icbkzqsa.gif)
Jamal Adams Says He Didn't Mean To Light Up Patriots Mascot [Update]
Jets defensive back Jamal Adams had a little fun—or thought he was having a little fun—by delivering the boom on his division rival’s mascot Pat Patriot at the Pro Bowl festivities Wednesday. It was a solid hit, and the person in the suit played it off like everything was okay....
