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Mark Cuban Shares Just The Most Exhausting Take On American Basketball
Luka Dončić is very good. He is also cool, the kind of player you look forward to rooting for and enjoying for years to come. It would be a shame if something were to happen that suddenly forced you to start rooting for Zion Williamson to make it his first order of business next season to dunk Donči...

Brilliant Shithead Hatem Ben Arfa Is Yet Again Back From The Dead
It was three years ago that Hatem Ben Arfa, the supremely talented and infamously knuckleheaded French attacker, was in the midst of a career resurrection. Since then, Ben Arfa’s seen his career buried once again by the shitheadedness that has all too often overshadowed his immense gifts. And yet, l...

Louis Riddick Shares His Extremely Smart Thoughts About Addiction And Mental Health
Louis Riddick wasn’t responding directly to fellow ESPNer Stephen A. Smith’s latest dose of stupid, but in this clip from this morning’s episode of Get Up, it certainly seemed like that’s what Riddick was doing....

ESPN Got NBA General Managers To Fill Their Diapers Over LeBron James Answering A Question
So I guess ESPN got what they wanted. Days after LeBron James said “duh” when asked if it would be cool to have one of the best players in the world on his team, rival general managers are reportedly losing bowel control over the terrifying implications of a player acknowledging aloud what is plainl...

Luka Dončić's Step-Back Jumper Is As Smooth As It Gets
The Mavericks lost to the Clippers last night in a rather entertaining edition of the DeAndre Jordan Bowl, one where nobody was particularly interested in playing defense and Lou Williams did the Lou Williams thing of making every goddamn shot he thought about. Leading the line for the Mavs was Slov...

The Biggest Backer Of A New D.C. Stadium For Dan Snyder Appears To Be In Some Serious Shit
A massive majority of D.C. residents want to give Dan Snyder nothing, save their middle finger. But a few of the most powerful folks around town have been conspiring for some time behind closed doors to refute the will of the people and give the Skins owner choice public lands for a new stadium. A k...

Joe Gibbs's Skins Had A Beer Shed
The players themselves came up with another way of fostering team chemistry: They called it the 5 o’clock club....

Stephen A. Smith Shares His Extremely Dumb Thoughts About Addiction
ESPN yakker Stephen A. Smith, who has always been a huge weirdo when it comes to drugs, went on TV last night and shared his thoughts on addiction during a discussion about Josh Gordon. It basically unfolded like the real-life version of this tweet....

Zion Williamson Laughs And Hides His Face After Being Asked About Maybe Someday Joining The Knicks
The insanely overpowered Duke Blue Devils gave Texas Tech their first loss of the season Thursday night, at Madison Square Garden, in a refreshingly competitive 69–58 game. Among other things, this was humanoid megafauna Zion Williamson’s first career game at the home of the Knicks, and so of course...

Heckler Gets Ejected After Blake Griffin Gets In His Face
Right as the Pistons sealed a road overtime win against the Timberwolves last night, Blake Griffin prompted a short stoppage in play when he confronted a fan near the Pistons bench. Griffin, who went off for a game-high 34 points, was held back by his teammates as he yelled “What the fuck did you sa...

ESPN Eats Its Own Tail Over The Faint Idea Of LeBron James And Anthony Davis Together
It’s easy to see why you—basketball reporter or blogger or TV analyst or general enthusiast not hailing from New Orleans—might salivate at the prospect at Anthony Davis and LeBron James on the same roster. I’m right there with you. It’s an enticing prospect, because it would provide a flesh-and-bloo...

LeBron's Photographic Recall Doubles As Good Parenting Tool
Today in highly curated but genuinely heart-warming parenting moments: LeBron delivering a pick-me-up talk to teary 11-year-old son Bryce after a basketball game. The specificity really sells it:...

Mother Of Addison Russell's Child Shares Details Of Mistreatment
Chicago Cubs shortstop Addison Russell was suspended 40 games by MLB last year for violating the league’s domestic violence policy. The suspension followed his ex-wife, Melisa Reidy-Russell, sharing details of the abuse she says she suffered at Russell’s hands while they were married. Now, another w...

I Can't Stop Thinking About Jim Nantz Calling Tom Brady "Mr. Cool"
Jim Nantz is too fundamentally bland as a human for a conflict of interest to be concerning, but what fresh hell was this? During Sunday’s Patriots-Steelers game, the CBS broadcaster betrayed his WASPy exterior with an ejaculated moment of unrestrained happiness for his good chum Tom Brady. “Mr. Coo...

Cubs Owners Discussed Moving Team Out Of Chicago During Beef With Mayor
In the nine years since Monopoly-man-come-to-life Joe Ricketts and his cartoonishly wealthy progeny purchased the Chicago Cubs from the Tribune Company, the Ricketts dynasty—publicly represented by 55-year-old investment banker and public transit enthusiast Tom—have found themselves in repeated disa...

Former Marlins President David Samson Taunts Fleeced Taxpayers: "$1.2 Billion. Fuck You!"
Miami has arguably been hit harder by the pro sports stadium scam than any other city in America. When former Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria managed to get a publicly financed stadium built in 2012, he stuck Miami-Dade County with a stupefying bill that will eventually cost taxpayers $2.4 billion. Give...

Everywhere Is Gross
Today, we’re talking about chuds, Nick Foles, Home Depot, overpopulation, and more. ...

Dan Hooker Took Just So Much Punishment From Edson Barboza
The worst way to fight Edson Barboza is to let the lanky Brazilian have the necessary space to get his terrifying kicks off. Kiwi action fighter Dan Hooker very occasionally (so, like, twice) ruffled Barboza with spurts of pressure in the second round of their fight last weekend on the UFC’s final c...

Dave Joerger Wildly Overshoots The Mark While Clarifying Excessively Pro-Luka Dončić Comments
The good young Kings beat the good young Mavericks on Sunday, in Luka Dončić’s first career regular season game against the team that unexpectedly passed on drafting him with the second overall pick back in June. Dončić had 28 points on 15 shots and was excellent; Marvin Bagley III, whom the Kings s...

Man, Vance Joseph Really Messed That One Up
It’s been nearly 48 hours since Broncos head coach Vance Joseph made what might have been this season’s worst coaching decision (non–Nathan Peterman, Starting Quarterback Division). But now there’s math to let us know just how brutal Joseph’s play-call actually was....