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How Stupid And Toothless Does The NBA Now Look Trying To Manage This Shit
The escalating non-story of LeBron James making moves on Anthony Davis finally ensnared the NBA league office on Friday, with league counsel reportedly reminding teams via a carefully worded memo that only great big meanies would ever honestly answer a question about whether it is good to have good ...
What Our Parents Thought Of Deadspin In 2018
Shaina’s mom:...
Nevada Coach Jay Norvell Hath Donned The Blue Shirt Of Inspiration
In general, football head coaches are pretty much the dullest, weirdest, most wooden-brained group of men on earth, just a bunch of sweaty cosplaying doofuses blindly guessing at how to do their ridiculous job and what it even means to be good at that job, which probably isn’t really one job at all ...
Ben Simmons Keeps Dunking On Jazz Fans Over His Rookie Of The Year Win
Ben Simmons might not be able to shoot basketballs into hoops with any sort of consistency, but the Sixers point guard can still make life a living hell for his opponents. Just ask the hostile Utah crowd that attended Thursday night’s Sixers-Jazz game, which spent the majority of the game booing Sim...
Andrei Vasilevskiy Was Bug-Eyed With Disbelief At His Own Save
It was maybe not a game you’d have expected much excitement from. The Lightning lead the entire rest of the NHL, by a healthy margin, and haven’t lost in regulation since November. The Flyers, on the other hand, are scraping the bottom of the East and have already canned their coach and GM. But a mi...
The Strange Career Of Jeff Monson, American MMA Fighter Turned Russian Politician
On September 9, 2018, American mixed martial arts fighter Jeff Monson became a government official in the Russian Federation. The former UFC title challenger, who was granted Russian citizenship by President Vladimir Putin less than four months earlier, was elected to a council of deputies in the ci...
ESPN Has Created Another Phony News Cycle Out Of Its Own Fart<em></em>
“Anthony Davis trade talk is the biggest story in the NBA,” screeches the headline on this Zach Lowe article on ESPN.com. In a blog making broadly the same argument over on the Ringer, Kevin O’Connor writes that a Davis trade could cause “a seismic shift in the league,” like trades involving Wilt C...
Fuck Digital Tickets
Earlier this year, I decided to garner a boatload of daughter points all at once to make up for the fact that I moved 1,300 miles away from home. My dad came to visit me for Father’s Day, so I got us tickets to see the Baltimore Orioles play at Camden Yards. We both love baseball, and this would be ...
UFC Welterweight Alex Oliveira Blown Up By Grenade On Christmas Eve, Is Fine
UFC welterweight Alex Oliveira went home to Tres Rios, south of Rio de Janeiro, to spend Christmas with family. There he was involved in a Christmas Eve altercation at a gas station, involving machetes and guns and an exploding grenade that lodged a handful of shrapnel in his lower leg, requiring su...
The Sad, Short Story Of The First Responder Bowl
We all had this day circled on our calendars, because this is the day that Boston College and Boise State were set to meet in the big game—the one we’ve all been waiting for, the one that kept us awake last night: the First Responder Bowl. I regret to inform you that the First Responder Bowl has bee...
No One's Scared Of Ben Simmons
Kyrie Irving caught fire to help the Celtics pull away from the 76ers for a 121-114 overtime win in a statement battle between two of the let’s say three best teams in the East. But it was his counterpoint who celebrated Christmas Day with a career high, even if it was a total accident and still sor...
The Texans Lost, But At Least We Got To See This Amazing Deshaun Watson Escape Play
Down six with just over four minutes left in regulation, the Texans were marching down the field with the intention of scoring a touchdown and taking the lead. On the fifth play of the drive, Deshaun Watson faced a third-and-11 on Houston’s 44-yard line and needed to convert to keep things going. Hi...
Jarvis Landry Unleashes Arm Cannon With 63-Yard Throw
Baker Mayfield has spent a majority of today’s game slicing the Bengals’ secondary into pieces. He’s been having so much fun, in fact, that he’s even passed off some of the Browns’ throwing responsibilities to non-quarterback teammates, like Jarvis Landry. On the first play of a drive starting at th...
Philly Legend Celebrates Touchdown With Local Fan
One year removed from breaking his arm and tearing his ACL on the same play, 35-year-old Darren Sproles is still doing his damn thing on the football field. On fourth-and-two, Nick Foles threw a checkdown pass to the 14-year veteran, who proceeded to escape from his initial defender before scamperin...
Cowboys DE Tyrone Crawford Hospitalized After Suffering Scary Neck Injury
On the second play from scrimmage in this afternoon’s Bucs-Cowboys game, Dallas defensive end Tyrone Crawford went down with a scary injury. Crawford, a defensive captain, appeared to take a shoulder to the head from his blocker as he rushed the quarterback, and he crumpled to the ground. The stadiu...
NBA Officials Ruined Two Great Posters With Two Soft Techs
Jaylen Brown and Lauri Markkanen each had an incredible posterizing dunk in their games on Friday night. Each player looked at their respective victims and gave a slight flex in victory over their athletic accomplishment. Shortly after, each player was assessed a technical foul for their “unsportsma...
Mark Cuban Shares Just The Most Exhausting Take On American Basketball
Luka Dončić is very good. He is also cool, the kind of player you look forward to rooting for and enjoying for years to come. It would be a shame if something were to happen that suddenly forced you to start rooting for Zion Williamson to make it his first order of business next season to dunk Donči...
Brilliant Shithead Hatem Ben Arfa Is Yet Again Back From The Dead
It was three years ago that Hatem Ben Arfa, the supremely talented and infamously knuckleheaded French attacker, was in the midst of a career resurrection. Since then, Ben Arfa’s seen his career buried once again by the shitheadedness that has all too often overshadowed his immense gifts. And yet, l...
Louis Riddick Shares His Extremely Smart Thoughts About Addiction And Mental Health
Louis Riddick wasn’t responding directly to fellow ESPNer Stephen A. Smith’s latest dose of stupid, but in this clip from this morning’s episode of Get Up, it certainly seemed like that’s what Riddick was doing....
ESPN Got NBA General Managers To Fill Their Diapers Over LeBron James Answering A Question
So I guess ESPN got what they wanted. Days after LeBron James said “duh” when asked if it would be cool to have one of the best players in the world on his team, rival general managers are reportedly losing bowel control over the terrifying implications of a player acknowledging aloud what is plainl...