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Scottish Soccer Fan Punches Goalkeeper In The Face, While Another Beans Manager With A Coin
The behavior of two asshole fans threatened to ruin the spectacle of yesterday’s Scottish Premiership match between rivals Hearts and Hibernian. One of the assholes punched Hearts’ keeper in the face in the middle of the match, and the other chucked a coin at Hibs’ manager, striking the coach square...

LeBron And The Lakers Are Eking Their Way Through This
These Lakers are “Showtime,” ridiculously so, but possibly in some ways that they would rather avoid. The saliva and sucker punch, yes, but also in a more general way. In some sense, the battle to prevent vomit pooling in your mouth from spilling out onto your fresh tuxedo while you race to the toil...

Vertical Formation Skydiving Turns Sheer Terror Into A Beautiful Team Sport
Dusty Hanks sits on a small plane with his teammates. He’s quiet, but his mind is full envisioning the maneuvers he’s about to perform. It’s pointless to talk, anyway; the plane gets louder as it climbs....

Former Player Says "Insane" Prep School Coach Mike Woodbury Used To Call Teenage Female Players "Sperm Banks"
Following the publication of an audio recording in which prep school basketball coach Mike Woodbury said, “I’m gonna fuck you in your ass” to one of his former players, other people who played for Woodbury in the past are coming forward with their own stories of his abusive behavior....

Christian Pulisic Went Off Today
An update on Christian Pulisic, American superstar: he is still extremely good at soccer. Today, in a DFB Pokal win over Union Berlin, he had a goal, an assist, a drawn game-winning penalty, and whatever this shit this move was. ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Notice The Facade Of The Snakes
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....

Hail Of Beer Cans At Red Sox Parade Injured One Fan, Got Another Arrested, And Damaged The World Series Trophy
Victory parades are one of the few times when a person can get away with drinking in public without getting arrested or making their friends concerned. It’s helpful if you’re famous, too. As the Boston Red Sox made their way along the parade route today, overeager fans who were willing to share thei...

New Footage Shows The Moment Leicester City Owner's Helicopter Spun Out Of Control
A recently released video taken from the pitch of Leicester City’s stadium on Saturday shows the exact moment a helicopter, which was carrying Leicester’s owner, Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha, and four other passengers, began to spiral out of control before crashing and exploding, killing everyone on boa...

The Sacramento Kings Are, Uh, Fine? Maybe?
Okay, so, here we are, eight games into the NBA season, and the Sacramento Kings are 5-3. Sure, it’s early, and sure, the Kings have had decent starts before only to collapse into piles of shit. All the usual caveats apply, and the Kings could very easily turn back into a pumpkin when the clock stri...

Red Sox Manager Alex Cora At Victory Parade: "We Scored 16 At Yankee Stadium, Suck On It"
The Red Sox are holding their championship parade today, and manager Alex Cora had a message for anyone who thought the team was in trouble after dropping Game 2 of the ALDS to the Yankees:...

How Long Can The Sixers Experiment With Markelle Fultz?
The Philadelphia 76ers are now 4-4 after last night’s 129-112 loss to the Toronto Raptors, which counts as something of a disappointing start for a team that roared through the second half of last season to finish 52-30. Last year’s Sixers finished the season with the fourth-best net rating in the l...

The Browns Are Being The Browns
Happy Halloween from Emergency Football Show Weekly! This week Dom and I discuss the Browns’ coaching changes, why morning NFL games are so great (Dom—and West Coasters—may disagree), Michael Dickson’s fourth-down run and Todd Gurley’s decision to go down before scoring a touchdown. Enjoy!...

Kawhi Leonard Pestered Ben Simmons Into The Bad Kind Of Triple-Double
Ben Simmons, who can’t shoot worth shit, had the bad kind of triple-double Tuesday night, registering 11 turnovers against 11 points and 10 assists. This isn’t an especially rare feat in the NBA—Basketball Reference says it has happened 81 other times since 1977—although Simmons’s 21 combined points...

Deadspin Up All Night: Shillings, Francs, Even Pesos
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What More Details Do Rafael Nadal And Novak Djokovic Need To Cancel Their Saudi Arabia Exhibition?
As of now, world No. 1 Rafael Nadal and No. 2 Novak Djokovic are still slated to play in a December exhibition in Saudi Arabia, and have yet to decline the invitation even as details about the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi continue to emerge. Nadal and Djokovic cited the duration of their com...

Red Sox Fans Worship Tom Brady Shirt To Celebrate World Series Win
These people make me sick....

Whoa, Hey, Some Football Players Got Traded
The NFL stove is notoriously ice fucking cold throughout the regular season, but teams have been feisty over the last few days, and some big-name players have been traded for significant draft picks. The league trade deadline passed at 4:00 p.m. EDT today, and would you believe it, some more guys go...

Luka Dončić Appears To Be The Real Deal<em></em>
Luke Dončić has played seven NBA games in his career, and his passing is already sufficiently respected and feared by opponents to the point that he was able to create a wide open shot for himself with a fake no-look pass last night....

Ref Kicks Dildo At Bills Game
Bills fans tossing sex toys onto the field is a well-worn bit at this point, as evidenced by the fact that three separate dildos made their way onto the playing surface during last night’s game against the Patriots. It’s probably time for the dildo-tossers to get a new gag, but this one plays as lon...