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Dominic Thiem Owned By Rafael Nadal In French Open Final, Owned Again During Trophy Presentation
If you missed the men’s French Open final yesterday, you missed three quick sets of Rafael Nadal being Rafael Nadal and winning his 11th French Open trophy. But you also missed the trophy presenter, former Grand Slam winner Ken Rosewall, providing some unusually honest, slightly unfair analysis of N...
Deadspin Up All Night: Plainsong
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I’m surrounded by wild animals....
True Ass-Brain Football Columnist Says Matt Patricia Risks Losing Lions Players Because Punishment Isn't Fun
Matt Patricia has been head coach of the Detroit Lions for roughly 19 minutes. It’s been a rocky time—mere moments after he accepted the job, the Detroit News reported on a sexual assault indictment in Patricia’s past, and the Lions organization needed much of the time since—and, frankly, the aid of...
Oh No, Vlad Jr.'s Injury Timeline Is Expanding
The Blue Jays put gentle dinger machine Vladimir Guerrero Jr. on the 7-day disabled list last weekend after he tweaked a leg injury on a dipshit single on Saturday. It was a tough blow, but we are grownups, and we can survive seven days without our strong dong-mashing idol. It has now been seven day...
Deadspin Up All Night: Cruel Summer
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Take it easy out there....
Rafael Nadal's French Open Is A Confrontation With His Only Real Threat
Dominic Thiem and Rafael Nadal will play each other in the French Open final on Sunday. Only one outcome has ever resulted from a French Open final involving Rafa. For a reality check, pinch yourself and say aloud, “Rafael Nadal has won 10 French Opens.” There is only the slimmest chance that Thiem ...
Deadspin Up All Night: You Must Be Having So Much Fun<em></em>
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Who Is The Most Adam Sandler Director?
Most friendships have a sort of intrinsic half-life. Each passing year tends to draw you further from the people you care about or at least reduce the number of people you stay in touch with, but this is usually a good thing. I’d say the best number of friends is somewhere around MySpace’s platonic...
A Dramatic Reading Of Bryan Colangelo's Resignation As GM Of The Philadelphia 76ers
Is this the stupidest thing we’ve ever put on the website? Uh, sound off in the comments I guess. I’m just really sorry about all this....
Are The Orioles Going To Let Chris Davis Have The Worst Season Ever?
Orioles first baseman Chris Davis is in real danger of having the worst season in the history of baseball. That’s not a joke or hyperbole. He’s playing unbelievably, historically bad baseball:...
Trump Thinking "Very Seriously" About Pardoning Muhammad Ali, Who Has No Criminal Record
Muhammad Ali’s career in the ring came to a standstill in 1967 upon the late boxer’s conviction for avoiding the Vietnam Draft by declaring himself a conscientious objector. Four years later, the U.S. Supreme Court reversed that conviction by a unanimous vote; 47 years later, Donald Trump is suggest...
Extremely Online Baseball Knowers Go To War Over "Games Above .500"
Baseball is Ye Olde American Pastime, old enough to have developed its own language and customs and conventions. For example, everyone who follows baseball knows that “7.1 innings” should be understood to mean “seven-and-a-third innings,” even though that’s not at all how decimals work. You could re...
The 2018 <i>Hockey Night In Canada</i> Season-Ending Montage Is Here<em></em>
Hockey is over for the summer. That sucks! Perhaps, maybe, the only thing that can get us through those lean months will be the annual masterpiece that is the Hockey Night In Canada season-ending montage, set this year to Oasis (??). Here you are....
Universe Snuffs Last Remaining Spark Of Joy, Sends Vlad Jr. To The Disabled List
In an absolute bullcrap turn of events, dear sweet masher Vladimir Guerrero Jr. was sent to the disabled list Thursday with an injured leg. Per the Toronto Sun:...
Deadspin Up All Night: Memory's A Sacred Meat
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World Cup Referee Caught Accepting $600 From An Undercover Journalist<em></em>
Footage from a documentary on corruption in African soccer, shared exclusively with the BBC, shows World Cup assistant referee Adel Range Marwa accepting a $600 gift from an undercover journalist posing as a Ghanaian soccer official. Marwa, the only referee from Kenya set to participate in the Worl...
Ugly Schoolboy Football Feud Leaves Baltimore Powerhouse With Zero Opponents For 2018
If you can’t beat ‘em, blackball ‘em. That’s among the morals of the story of the dissolution of Baltimore’s prep football scene, which is now complete: St. Frances Academy, a historically non-athletic and financially strapped institution which is suddenly among the best football schools in the coun...
Temple's Still Getting Fleeced By The Eagles, And Locals Are Stuck With Both Bills
Temple has yet to start construction on a promised community jobs center, a project that was announced three years ago, but its plans for a controversial on-campus football stadium have only gained steam. This is thanks in part to some grade-A scuzzery courtesy of the Philadelphia Eagles....
Darren Rovell On Fake Headline He Wrote 12 Hours Earlier: "It’s Just Really Bad"
Darren Rovell, an AI who aims to drive Earth’s entire population insane through the banality of its observations, launched yet another attack on our psyches last night:...
This Is Quite The <i>Madden </i>Chokejob
In that frame up above, the guy playing as the Seahawks in Madden 18 recovered the onside kick with a lead of six and five seconds left. He still absolutely blew it....