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Spain Shoots Its Own Dick Off In The Name Of Propriety, Fires Manager One Day Before World Cup
The Spanish soccer federation (RFEF) announced today that it has fired its national team manager Julen Lopetegui, on the eve of the World Cup, because Lopetegui did not “act the right way.” The infraction? Lopetegui accepted a job managing Real Madrid, which would have started after the World Cup, w...

<i>Hereditary </i>Will Completely Fuck Up Even The Most Seasoned Horror-Movie Watcher
My favorite genre of fiction, in books and stories and movies and probably even television shows, is horror. I love horror. I watch horror movies all the time. I stay up late after my wife goes to bed so that I can watch more horror movies, even though it means that I sleep terribly. My worry with H...

Deadspin Up All Night: Ancients Of Mu Mu
Hello, friends! Shall we discuss the various high elements of acid house? The comment section is yours. ...

These Two Points Adequately Represent Rafael Nadal's Ridiculous Clay Season
Rafael Nadal won the French Open on Sunday, and there’s little new to say that wasn’t already said after last year’s title. After the preposterousness of 10, 11 doesn’t feel so different. But even into the double-digits, it’s worth remembering that the points are fucking absurd....

Never Take Your Kids To A Championship Parade<em></em>
I was not born or raised in the D.C. area but all of my children were, and so I felt it was my solemn duty as a Good Sports Dad to take them downtown for the Capitals’ Stanley Cup parade, the first major title parade to take place here in nearly three decades. This was a celebration that was unprece...

Real Madrid's New Manager Julen Lopetegui Thinks Messi Is Better Than Ronaldo
Real Madrid announced Julen Lopetegui as their new manager today, just two weeks after Zinedine Zidane resigned abruptly from the job after winning the Champions League title. Lopetegui is currently manager of Spain’s national team and won’t take over at Real Madrid until after the World Cup....

Jason Heyward, Of All People, Finally Got To Josh Hader
Listen, it is illegal to exhibit any sort of excitement about a potential bounce-back from Jason Heyward until he actually finishes a full season with an OPS over .800. I’m sorry, but that’s just the law, and it has been the law ever since he convinced everyone that 2017 was going to be his big come...

Unwritten Rules Lead To Nine Unanswered Runs
The Diamondbacks were toast. Joe Musgrove was dealing for the Pirates, allowing Arizona just four hits through six as Pittsburgh sat on a 5-0 lead. “We were lying flat,” D-Backs manager Torey Lovullo said. And then the Pirates had to go and put a leadoff batter on. Retaliation, you know. Unwritten r...

Deadspin Up All Night: Boy, You've Got To Hold On
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Have a cool time....

Listen, It's The Offseason Now So We're Going To Talk About This Dumb Basketball Idea
A galaxy-brained NBA Reddit user posed a reasonable question this morning: Why can’t four Golden State Warriors link arms in a circle around Steph Curry, so that no defenders can get near him to contest his shot?...

Dominic Thiem Owned By Rafael Nadal In French Open Final, Owned Again During Trophy Presentation
If you missed the men’s French Open final yesterday, you missed three quick sets of Rafael Nadal being Rafael Nadal and winning his 11th French Open trophy. But you also missed the trophy presenter, former Grand Slam winner Ken Rosewall, providing some unusually honest, slightly unfair analysis of N...

Deadspin Up All Night: Plainsong
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I’m surrounded by wild animals....

True Ass-Brain Football Columnist Says Matt Patricia Risks Losing Lions Players Because Punishment Isn't Fun
Matt Patricia has been head coach of the Detroit Lions for roughly 19 minutes. It’s been a rocky time—mere moments after he accepted the job, the Detroit News reported on a sexual assault indictment in Patricia’s past, and the Lions organization needed much of the time since—and, frankly, the aid of...

Oh No, Vlad Jr.'s Injury Timeline Is Expanding
The Blue Jays put gentle dinger machine Vladimir Guerrero Jr. on the 7-day disabled list last weekend after he tweaked a leg injury on a dipshit single on Saturday. It was a tough blow, but we are grownups, and we can survive seven days without our strong dong-mashing idol. It has now been seven day...

Deadspin Up All Night: Cruel Summer
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Take it easy out there....

Rafael Nadal's French Open Is A Confrontation With His Only Real Threat
Dominic Thiem and Rafael Nadal will play each other in the French Open final on Sunday. Only one outcome has ever resulted from a French Open final involving Rafa. For a reality check, pinch yourself and say aloud, “Rafael Nadal has won 10 French Opens.” There is only the slimmest chance that Thiem ...

Deadspin Up All Night: You Must Be Having So Much Fun<em></em>
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Play this one LOUD....

Who Is The Most Adam Sandler Director?
Most friendships have a sort of intrinsic half-life. Each passing year tends to draw you further from the people you care about or at least reduce the number of people you stay in touch with, but this is usually a good thing. I’d say the best number of friends is somewhere around MySpace’s platonic...

A Dramatic Reading Of Bryan Colangelo's Resignation As GM Of The Philadelphia 76ers
Is this the stupidest thing we’ve ever put on the website? Uh, sound off in the comments I guess. I’m just really sorry about all this....

Are The Orioles Going To Let Chris Davis Have The Worst Season Ever?
Orioles first baseman Chris Davis is in real danger of having the worst season in the history of baseball. That’s not a joke or hyperbole. He’s playing unbelievably, historically bad baseball:...