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Presenting The Al Pacino Matrix
In a lot of ways, getting old is fine. Your body starts doing a bunch of crazy new gross things, first little by little and then all at once, which is especially fun if you’re a fan of Franz Kafka or David Cronenberg. Old habits downshift into dorkier but less damaging obsessions, and you discover t...

College Football Message Board Owner Turns Out To Be Hateful Moron
Montana Grizzlies football fan Lisa Davey didn’t want the school to bring back Bobby Hauck as head coach. Hauck left for UNLV after the 2009 season, and his last few years with the Grizzlies featured a number of his players and recruits being arrested for various crimes, and his stonewalling of the ...

What The Hell Is The Hopewell Fund?
The NFL PR playbook is so obvious at this point that it’s shocking the league’s executives are still impressed by the idea: When people get upset, throw money at the problem. ...

Here's The Weird Song James Dolan Wrote For The Deadspin Awards
Our own Dave McKenna wrote a profile of James Dolan last year, and so he has Dolan’s contact information. Half-jokingly, we told McKenna to reach out to Dolan and ask if he wanted to participate in this year’s Deadspin Awards. Much to our bewilderment, we got this:...

What The 2024 Olympics Will And Won't Do For Paris
You already know what is worth celebrating about the Olympics. You may know this because the Olympics will not stop reminding you of them, but this does not mean they’re not real. The spirit of sportsmanship is not just a cliché for the telecast, and the games really do give women athletes, underval...

Daniel Radcliffe Presented The Deadspin Award For Worst Tweet
The second annual Deadspin Awards would not have been complete without a visit from our only true friend, Daniel Radcliffe. He was once again kind enough to present the award for Worst Tweet:...

Michael Schur Presented The Deadspin Award For Worst Take
The second annual Deadspin Awards were on Tuesday night. Drinks were had, middling jokes were told, and our friends and readers managed not to make a scene (except for this guy). We also had a few celebrity cameos, including television producer Michael Schur, a.k.a. Fire Joe Morgan founder Ken Treme...

The Giants Really Screwed Up Eli Manning's Exit
The more details we learn about the benching of Eli Manning for Geno Smith, the clearer it becomes that this whole thing was done in the only way the Giants know how to do things this season: chaotically, unnecessarily, less-than-competently....

Deadspin Up All Night: Smile Through The Shit
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s go....

<i>Lady Bird</i> Is As Honest As Teen Movies Get<em></em>
What do you remember about growing up? Was your tenure in high school characterized by grandiose, dramatic blowups and public betrayals, the sort you’ll see in, say, Riverdale? Or was it marked by subtler moments of inner tumult—smoldering angst rather than a bleeding heart? The version of teenage l...

Bad Quarterback Performance Of The Week: Joe Flacco Is Bad Football
Welcome to Bad Quarterback Performance Of The Week, a recurring feature in which we celebrate the worst quarterback play the NFL has to offer....

How The Hell Should You Pee In This Toilet?
This toilet has vexed me for the last two days....

Deadspin Staffers, In The Order They Finally Got To Work The Morning After The Deadspin Awards
Last night was the Deadspin Awards. It was fun! A lot of fun. Maybe too much fun for a Tuesday. This morning, I have been keeping a running list of when the writers and editors of this site first demonstrated that they survived the open bar and post-show karaoke. It’s been pretty grim....

Deadspin Up All Night: Long Live The Party
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We’re wearing fancy things and fidgeting in front of microphones tonight. If you want to laugh with or at us, go check our Facebook page at about 8 p.m. Eastern....

Look At This Goddamn Email
Here’s an email I just got, from a Google employee, beneath the subject line: “Kevin Durant just leaked YouTube news ;)”...

Giants Bench Eli Manning For Geno Smith
Eli Manning’s streak of 210 consecutive starts will end this weekend, as Giants coach Ben McAdoo announced that Geno Smith will take over at QB against the Raiders. Manning’s streak was the second longest in NFL history, 87 starts behind Brett Favre. Smith started one game for the New York Jets las...

Deadspin Up All Night: Went To The Club
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....

Shania Twain Should Do Every Halftime Show
Sled dogs. Snowy conditions. A Mountie escort. A 110-yard football field. The greatest country crossover artist in the world. Last night’s halftime show at the 2017 Grey Cup was not just the most Canadian thing ever, but also, simply, the best thing ever. While the Argonauts and Stampeders took shel...

Jahlil Okafor Has Gone On The Offensive
Jahlil Okafor, the former third overall pick in the 2015 draft, is still stuck in basketball purgatory. He’s appeared in just two games and played 25 total minutes, and the Sixers seem to be insistent on keeping him in storage until a suitable trade partner can be found....

Deadspin Up All Night: What Have I Done?
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Night....