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Philly Cops Won’t Grease Poles For The Super Bowl Because It Didn’t Work Anyway
If the Eagles do the unthinkable and actually win the Super Bowl, Philadelphians will rush out onto the streets in celebration. If they want to climb some light poles to celebrate, they will be able to do so unencumbered: Philadelphia Police Commissioner Richard Ross announced today that the city wo...

There Seems To Be A Problem With Those "Unopenable" Olympic Piss Test Bottles
When you pee into a drug tester’s cup at the Olympics, you don’t just pee into a plastic cup labeled “ATHLETE PISS,” you pee into state-of-the-art BEREG-KIT Geneva bottles made by Swiss manufacturer Berlinger. They have a locking top that can only be opened by a machine that destroys them, which wou...

Baseball Executive Kevin Towers Dead At 56 Of Thyroid Cancer
Former Padres and Diamondbacks general manager Kevin Towers died Tuesday morning of thyroid cancer, which he was diagnosed with in late 2016. Towers was known as a popular and insightful executive, first entering the front office ranks as a scout before he became the Padres’ GM in 1995....

Boston Is So Embarrassing
By now you are surely aware of the fact that WEEI host Alex Reimer was suspended indefinitely after saying Tom Brady’s daughter was being an “annoying little pissant” in a scene of the first episode of Brady’s new Facebook reality show. He caught the ire of Brady, who went on WEEI and implied that R...

Deadspin Up All Night: Why Isn't Anybody Callin'?
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....

Oh Shit, The Clippers Traded Blake Griffin To Detroit
Blake Griffin will soon have a harder time getting guest appearances on Comedy Central shows, because according to Adrian Wojnarowski, the Clippers have traded Griffin to the Detroit Pistons in exchange for Tobias Harris, Avery Bradley, Boban Marjanovic, and a pair of picks....

Titus Young Writes About Hearing Voices, Living With Bipolar Disorder In Prison Diary
Former NFL and Boise State wide receiver Titus Young, a second-round pick who had his career cut short by clashes with coaches and teammates, is currently serving a sentence of four years in a Los Angeles prison for an assault on his neighbor. That assault is the culmination of a series of legal and...

Baby Will Definitely Grow Up To Be Hoagie-Loving Adult
Philadelphia is already out of control with Super Bowl fever, and this baby is no exception. This kid has likely heard the word “Eagles” 10 million times over the last few weeks, so why wouldn’t his first word be “Eagles”? The only thing that’s surprising is that he didn’t say “Go Birds.”...

Sixers-Thunder Is Suddenly A Great NBA Rivalry
I doubt anyone had Sixers-Thunder pegged to become one of the spicier NBA rivalries headed into this season, but here we are, two games into the beef, with Russell Westbrook and Joel Embiid reaching new levels of petty....

Tom Brady Cuts WEEI Interview Short Because Host Called His Kid An "Annoying Little Pissant"
It’s Super Bowl week and Tom Brady will ignore all off-the-field distractions. Almost. This morning, during his weekly appearance on a WEEI radio show featuring people who have repeatedly accused Adam Jones of fabricating the racist incidents he said he experienced in Boston, called Erin Andrews a “...

Deadspin Up All Night: An Intention
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Spring is...uhh...actually nowhere close. Shit....

True Shit-For-Brains Spoils Tiger Woods Birdie Putt By Shouting "Get In The Hole"
Hey, jackass, how about letting the man actually finish his swing before you start shouting?...

Poor Valparaiso Freshman Dunked Out Of Existence
Say a prayer for Valparaiso freshman Mileek McMillan, for surely he will never be seen again on earth after what happened to him Saturday night:...

Deadspin Up All Night: Ready Or Not
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hang in there....

Report: NCAA President Mark Emmert Was Personally Informed About 37 MSU Athlete Sex Assault Cases In 2010, Did Nothing
The Athletic’s Nicole Auerbach reports tonight that NCAA president Mark Emmert was personally told in 2010 of more than three dozen reports of sexual assault committed by Michigan State athletes, but took no apparent action. ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Yeah, I Can Hear That<em></em>
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Yes, I know what you think of me, you never shut up....

Dead Letters: "Go Blow A Long Snot Out Of Your Stubby, Fat Nose!!!!"<em></em>
Subject: Your description of the President...

Markelle Fultz Just Needs To Shoot Like This All The Time
My friends, truly I say to you today: Markelle Fultz has discovered the solution and fixed his fucked-up shooting form....

De'Aaron Fox's Game-Winning Put-Back Makes Doug Christie Say "NYAAAHH!"<em></em>
Sacramento rookie De’Aaron Fox had an absolutely wonderful put-back slam to win the game for the Kings tonight in Miami....
