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Honestly I Hope Most Of The Young USMNTers Suck Because I Hate Their Names<em></em>
The young boys on the USMNT U20 team won their age group’s CONCACAF Championship this weekend. Which, for diehard American soccer fans, should be great, being a good omen for the future and all. But fuck that. I never want to root for anyone with one of these nearly universally terrible names....
Spring Training Is Good
One of my midlevel life regrets is that I’ve never gotten to Florida or Arizona for Spring Training, because it seems like it offers the things I like most about live baseball: Sitting outside in nice weather, eating and drinking, and just absorbing the entire sensory experience—the smells, the soun...
Deadspin Up All Night: Your Age Is The Hardest Age
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. The weekend has come to an end once again. ...
Adam McQuaid Gets 25 Stitches After Skate Slashes Neck, Cleared To Play Tomorrow
Time for another entry in the seemingly endless litany of stories proving the true toughness of hockey players, folks. Bruins defenseman Adam McQuaid has been cleared to play tomorrow after taking a teammate’s skate right to the neck yesterday, which required something in the neighborhood of 25 stit...
Russian Politician: Let's Legalize Fan Violence And Make It A New Spectator Sport
Back in June, when a group of Russian hooligans brutalized English fans at Euro 2016, most of the country’s politicians condemned the violence (even while playing coy about how it could have possibly happened). Igor Lebedev, deputy chairman of the Russian parliament, had a different perspective: “I ...
![Festus Ezeli Will Have Season-Ending Knee Surgery Involving A Cadaver Donor [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/hjpdsrgsnyqu65dqtipq.jpg)
Festus Ezeli Will Have Season-Ending Knee Surgery Involving A Cadaver Donor [UPDATED]
It’s been reported for months that Festus Ezeli would need season-ending knee surgery, but until yesterday, no date had been set or details announced. Now, the situation and timeline are clearer—Ezeli will undergo a procedure requiring a cadaver donor, and he’s spent the last several months waiting ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Your Arms Are My Castle
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I am excited to watch Duke destroy the boys of Chapel Hill this fine evening....
Deadspin Up All Night: So Much Style That It's Wasted
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. In honor of the 209....
Radek Faksa Grinds The Boards To Avoid Hit, Scores Goal
There have not been many Dallas Stars highlights this season. So please appreciate this one from last night’s game, before they, uh, totally collapsed against the Islanders....
Columnist Suggests Adrian Peterson Hit His Kid Because He Might Be Descended From Slaves<em></em>
Pete Dougherty of the Green Bay Press-Gazette wrote a column this evening for USA Today’s Wisconsin Network urging the Packers to sign free agent running back Adrian Peterson. He makes the case that Peterson still has plenty of productive football ahead of him, and writes off Peterson having whipped...
Mexican Baseball Manager "Held" For Three Nights In Crazy Alleged Extortion Scheme
The manager of a Mexican League baseball team, Francisco “Paquin” Estrada, was reported missing Thursday morning, and then found hours later....
Montreal Still Loves P.K. Subban And The Feeling Is Apparently Mutual
Before P.K. Subban’s first game back in Montreal after the Canadiens traded him to the Nashville Predators last year, the Habs paid tribute to their former defenseman....
Deadspin Up All Night: Jackpot
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Down to my last dime with no good news. ...
Fernando Torres's Severe Head Injury Sends Fellow Players Into A Panic
Late on in today’s Atlético Madrid-Deportivo match, Fernando Torres clashed with a Deportivo player while going up for a header, and fell face first onto the ground, apparently unconscious. The way Torres fell itself is nasty, but it’s the distraught reaction of the players who saw the injury up clo...
Antoine Griezmann Follows Up Teammate's Near-Miss Wondergoal With Wondergoal Of His Own
Just when it looked like Atlético Madrid would come away empty handed after a deep blast from full back Filipe Luís came crashing off the woodwork, Antoine Griezmann responded almost immediately with an even more audacious hit of his own that sailed over the keeper’s head and into the back of the ne...
Mike Francesa Can't Fathom The Idea Of Women Coaching Men
Mike Francesa, a man who already has a tenuous grip on the world to start with, struggled to be coherent when a caller asked if he could one day see a woman coaching a men’s professional sports team....
MLB To Carter Capps: Cool It With That Wacky Delivery
MLB and the MLBPA announced a set of new rules today, most of which had been credibly reported on last week. ...
Mesut Özil Recounts Ridiculously Dramatic Tiff With José Mourinho In New Book
If you hear about this anecdote from Mesut Özil’s forthcoming autobiography excerpted in Bild, it will probably focus on the fact that when Özil and José Mourinho were at Real Madrid, they once got into an argument in which Mourinho called Özil a coward. This is true, and pretty interesting in itsel...
This Horrendous Defense By Jahlil Okafor Is Truly Something To Behold
You’re about to watch a defensive effort by 76ers center Jahlil Okafor. Be warned: It is the softest, wet-noodliest defense you’ll ever see in your dang life....
José Abreu Said He Ate His Fake Passport On His Flight To The U.S.
Chicago White Sox slugger José Abreu testified today that he ordered a Heineken, then slowly ate his fake Haitian passport on board his flight to illegally enter the United States back in 2013. The testimony came in a federal courtroom in Miami during the ongoing trial of two men—agent Bartolo Herna...