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Chobani Sucks
Just now, I was walking through Union Square and got a free promotional Noosa™ Yogurt, a tasty treat. And what did I get from Chobani? Nothing. Fuck Chobani....

World Champion Pole Vaulter's Explanation For Positive Cocaine Test Totally Worked, Somehow
World champion pole vaulter Shawnacy Barber tested positive for cocaine after winning the Canadian Olympic trials in July, but was allowed to compete in Rio after an arbitrator ruled that he inadvertently ingested the cocaine while kissing a woman he had solicited for sex on Craigslist the night bef...

Here's Some Donald Trump Gossip That We Desperately Want To Be True
For one of the classiest, most luxurious purported billionaires alive, Donald Trump doesn’t exactly have the most refined palate. He seems to prefer McDonald’s, taco bowls, and burnt steaks to any sort of more refined fare, which makes this absolutely phenomenal rumor all the more believable. ...

I Still Can't Believe Madison Bumgarner Is Real
I’m largely fine with MLB’s play-in game, but there remains something almost cosmically unfair about having to win a one-game series when the opposing team can start Madison Bumgarner. ...

Astros Apologize For Minor Leaguer's Shitheaded Tweet
Brooks Marlow is a baseball player in the Astros minor league system. He would kindly like these lady broadcasters out of his face. Get off ESPN, lady broadcaster, game’s on! ...

Madison Bumgarner Remains A Postseason Demigod
The San Francisco Giants are headed to the NLDS once again, after Madison Bumgarner shut down the Mets and the offense managed a lone moment of competence tonight to get the team a 3-0 win. The Even Year Gods have smiled down on the Giants once again, and they’re headed to Chicago just a few short w...

The Dictator Of Chechnya Made His Preteen Sons Take Part In MMA Fights
Ramzan Kadyrov is one of the most powerful people in Russia. He’s been the leader of Chechnya since 2007. Guring his reign, he’s been accused of a litany of war crimes, including widespread torture. The dictator is also a known MMA enthusiast, which we’ve written about extensively in the past, and h...
![Here's The Guy That Toronto Police Say Threw A Beer On The Field Last Night [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/v1lhqeevjzmqv3xasddl.jpg)
Here's The Guy That Toronto Police Say Threw A Beer On The Field Last Night [Update]
It looks like a ghost was, in fact, not responsible for throwing that beer can at Hyun Soo Kim last night. This afternoon, the Toronto Police released a photo of the guy they say did it, and he looks like a henchman of ill repute. They released a short statement along with the photo:...

Deadspin Up All Night: Long Way From Dumb
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s go....

Strained Earth Gives Off Mighty Groan As Yet Another <i>Game Of Thrones</i>/Sports Mashup Is Unleashed Upon It
We all love sports, and we all love Game of Thrones, but what if I told you that sports ... was a lot like Game of Thrones?...

What Is The Point Of Tim Kaine?
A presidential running mate mostly is a warm body. He or she makes appearances at rallies and fundraisers, allowing the candidate to appear at different rallies and fundraisers. Tim Kaine can certainly do that. He is said to be a solid campaigner. He can give a speech and, presumably, shake a donor’...

Here’s A Weird Fucking Story About Donald Trump And Mike Tyson
Back in 2005, New York Times reporter Tim O’Brien wrote in his book, TrumpNation, that Donald Trump was not a billionaire but worth maybe $250 million on a good day. This is perhaps the number one thing you are not allowed to say about Donald Trump. So despite having “cooperated extensively” with O’...

Letters From Death Row: James Broadnax, Texas Inmate 999549
We occasionally publish letters from death row inmates. Today we hear from James Broadnax, who was sentenced to death after being convicted for a 2008 robbery and murder in Texas....

This Is The Closest We've Gotten To Finding The Beer-Throwing Blue Jays Fan
The police have not yet identified the shithead Blue Jays fan that tossed a beer at Hyun Soo Kim last night, who the team said was able to slink off into the night before security could apprehend them. This, despite the rigorous work done by certified expert internet investigators such as myself. Wh...
![Report: Machete-Wielding Man Killed After Breaking Into Colorado Football Offices [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/x8rcvsqhhpbifov6ftvv.jpg)
Report: Machete-Wielding Man Killed After Breaking Into Colorado Football Offices [Update]
A man armed with a machete entered Colorado’s Champion Center—the Buffaloes’ state of the art sports medicine and football complex—early Wednesday morning. The suspect was shot and killed by police in a stairwell, per a report from The Daily Camera. The police received the first distress call around...

Joel Embiid Finally Made It Onto An NBA Court
831 days after being becoming the No. 3 overall pick in the 2014 NBA draft, Sixers center Joel Embiid played in his first real(ish) NBA game against real NBA players....

The Beer-Throwing Blue Jays Fan Got Away
There’s a pattern here. Four years ago at the Rogers Centre someone nailed an umpire with a beer. Three years ago a fan chucked a full beer can at the Orioles’ Nate McLouth. In last year’s ALDS, the crowd protested a bizarre play by littering the field with trash, a scene lowlighted by a baby being ...

Many People Are Saying That Donald Trump Is Mad About Mike Pence’s Good Reviews<em></em><em></em>
After Donald Trump’s disaster of a debate performance last week, you’d think he’d be happy to get any sort of positive press at all. But according to multiple people citing sources close to the campaign—Donald Trump is furious at being outperformed by Mike Pence....

Rude Jays Fan Throws A Beer At Hyun Soo Kim, Nearly Brains Him
An extremely rude Blue Jays fan tossed beer at Orioles left fielder Hyun Soo Kim as the Orioles closed out the seventh inning. It nearly hit him, and right after it hit the grass, Kim and Adam Jones immediately turned to the crowd and tried to identify the beer tosser....
