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Can Donald Trump Grow A Beard? An Investigation
Donald Trump’s sense of self-worth seems to be based entirely on his status as an alpha male. He’s obscenely competitive, feels entitled to women, and is apparently fixated on the size of his dick. One hyper-masculine symbol, however, appears to have eluded Trump his entire life, for Donald Trump ha...
Mike Francesa Sounds Pretty Flummoxed About Yankee Stadium's New Breast Pump Stations
Mike Francesa is skeptical of Yankee Stadium installing breast pump stations, because the stadium is a place for baseball, not nursing. Who knew the two were mutually exclusive. The best part of this video is the five seconds of silence at the end, after Francesa circles back to the breast pumps....
Bobby Bowden Rambled For A Few Minutes At A Trump Rally Tonight
Legendary former FSU football coach Bobby Bowden spoke at a rally for Donald Trump this evening in Tampa. He mostly talked about the importance of having a strong military, and asked the crowd “Aren’t you getting tired of these other nations embarrassing us?”...
Deadspin Up All Night: It's Evident To Me
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We’re working on it!...
Deadspin Up All Night: The Heaven 17 Revival
Thank you for spending your weekend with us. We have another day or so before it stops being cute and turns straight Best Fans, so let’s enjoy it while we can....
Deadspin Up All Night: I Bought It On Eight-Track
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Sorry for the tardiness, we’ve had our hands full. ...
Colorado Gives Up Two Safeties On The Same Play
Colorado is in the midst of its best season in years, earning its way to bowl eligibility today with a 10-5 win over the once-seventh-ranked Stanford Cardinal. But even with its inexplicable 6-2 record, the Buffaloes still showed some of that haplessness that was a hallmark of the program for a deca...
CBS's Brian Jones Rants Against Targeting Rule
Brian Jones failed out of the NFL due to injury—he even filed, and lost, a lawsuit over it—but don’t tell him that the sport of football needs rules to protect players’ long-term health. The CBS college football analyst alternately demanded players grow eyes in the back of their head or barked “KEEP...
Deadspin Up All Night: Smelling Good
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The Best Runners To Coach Are Middle Schoolers<em></em>
What I do at the middle school is generously called cross country coaching. To the untrained eye, our program looks a lot like goofing around, like BS, like a waste of time. I’m pretty lucky to be able to pull this off....
Team USA Was The Overwhelmed Newcomer At The Kabaddi World Cup<em></em>
The ancient Indian sport of kabaddi is undergoing a revolution. For centuries it was only played on dusty fields in backcountry villages, but the launch of the Pro Kabaddi League in 2014 has transformed it from an antiquated pastime into a modern sporting spectacle on the Asian subcontinent, played ...
An Ode To James Carville's Super Fucked-Up Glasses
This election has turned the country into a tar pit from which we will never escape, but it did give us one thing that has brought me great joy. That thing is political pundit James Carville’s busted-ass spectacles....
Barcelona Are Reportedly Hot For Christian Pulisic
Look, I’m not going to tell you that this Spanish paper’s report that Barcelona, the (in my humble and in no way biased opinion) best club in world soccer, are “closely following” America’s Wonderteen Christian Pulisic, the (again, humble, unbiased opinion) greatest, can’t-miss soccer prospect in th...
Wikileaks: Clinton Campaign Considered Having Her Make A "Yo Mama" Joke
Here’s a good one from the Clinton email leaks. Before a February campaign event in Birmingham, Al., a Hillary Clinton campaign staffer wrote a “Yo mama” joke into the speech, one which was eventually cut....
Is Eric Trump A Lemonade Thief?
The latest scandal out of Donald Trump’s campaign: Possible lemonade theft. It appears that Eric Trump, one of his five children, put lemonade in a water cup at an In-N-Out burger, which the restaurant frowns upon....
Deadspin Up All Night: Blood Is Thinner
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Plenty of good blogs still to come....
Donald Trump's Donation Ticker Is Actually Just A Sample File On Loop
Take a trip over to DonaldJTrump.com, and you’ll be greeted by the nice, prominent donation ticker you see above. The implication, of course, is that all these people have just added their name to Team Trump—and you should, too! Except that, at least according to the site’s source code, those “donat...
5-Year-Old Diehard Celtic Fan Calls Up Club To Apologize For Missing Game
Kids these days. They whine and whine about how much they want—no, need—that drum set they’re always going on about, then you get one for them and after two months it sits quietly in the basement, unused and collecting dust. “But daaaaad, all my friends have motorized scooters,” that ungrateful brat...
This Was The Only Good Part Of Tonight's Debate
In a brief battle over exactly how much Donald Trump loves Vladimir Putin (is it just a lot or more than he loves his own children?), Trump offered the most infantile, absolutely incredible retort of his campaign thus far. Specifically, Trump went with the tried and true, “I know you are, but what a...