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What Is The Most Pretentious Musical Instrument?
If you’ve ever heard Jack White go through his marimba phase, or seen a dude waltz onto a subway car holding a djembe drum, you know there are some pretty goddamn pretentious instruments out there. But which one is the worst offender, and why is it always the bagpipes? That’s the subject of this wee...
Taxpayers Cover $34 Million Arena Renovation, Hockey Team Leaves Two Years Later
What is the absolute worst, most jarring way to learn your team is leaving town? Nope, not that. Nope, that’s pretty bad, but this is worse:...
Get Fucked, John Kasich
What even was John Kasich’s sweaty, affronted, whatever-happened-to-the-responsible-grownups-in-this-party act if not an even more insulting and ahistorical version of “Make America Great Again”? When was the last time the Republican Party had responsible grownups? When it sold a needless, catastrop...
Argentine Soccer Coach Mimics Eating Banana In Racist Gesture Aimed At Brazilian Fans
We’re used to seeing soccer players and fans act despicably, but it’s pretty rare for a coach to jump into the fray of depressingly common shitheadery. Defying this trend is Juan Carlos Gambandé, the goalkeepers’ coach at Argentina’s Racing Club, being a racist asshole at the expense of some Brazili...
Patrick Sharp Leads The League In Great Sports Babies
Winger Patrick Sharp scored on the power play—the Stars’ first in 13 chances—and set up Cody Eakin’s overtime winner to tie the second-round series with the Blues at two games apiece. But more importantly than all that, the Stars are headed back to Dallas for Game 5. And Patrick’s headed back to see...
Boca Juniors Keeper Gets Knocked Out, Stays In Match
Boca Juniors keeper Agustín Orion appeared to be knocked out after taking a blow to the head in the first half of his team’s Copa Libertadores match against Cerro Porteño tonight in Buenos Aires, but stayed in the match after several minutes of laying motionless on the pitch....
Deadspin Up All Night: I'm A Earthling In Disguise
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Stay based....
Spanish Police Throw Hands With Manchester City Fans
It’s hard to tell exactly who’s the aggressor here—the Manchester City fans visiting Real Madrid’s stadium for yesterday’s Champions League match, or the police who push and pull and punch them—but there’s definitely some scrapping going on, and it doesn’t look all that necessary....
Manchester City's Defending Is Beyond Awful
If one clip could explain how a rich and deep and talented team like Manchester City got bounced so unceremoniously from a Champions League semifinal no one thought they deserved to be in in the first place, and why such a well-run club could perform so erratically so regularly, and why one of the b...
Texas A&M Assistant's Twitter Rant About Losing One Recruit Chased Away Another (UPDATED)
One of the grossest things in all of sports is big-time college football recruiting: educational institutions groveling and begging high schoolers to attend, adults directing slush funds towards 17-year-olds, college graduates harassing kids on social media to consider their alma mater. And last nig...
How To Be A Radiohead Fan Without Being A Dipshit About It
Radiohead dropped a new single this week called “Burn The Witch” and it’s fucking gold. It sounds like a Smiths song and a Hitchcock film score hopped in bed together. I’ve listened to it twenty times over the past day, and now I’m afraid everyone is out to get me. It’s all of the paranoia of cocain...
Loafer-Wearing Miami Bro Commemorates Brandon Drury's Wild Catch With Totally Rad Selfie
Everyone knows that these ASU sorority sisters are the highest practitioners of the baseball selfie, but this Miami bro—clearly motivated to show his stuff against their beloved Diamondbacks—made lemonade when Brandon Drury crashed into his zone....
Deadspin Up All Night: Count On Me
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Keep on keeping on....
Patrick Beverley Mercilessly Owns Kid In One-On-One
This one-on-one game, which Patrick Beverley decided to dominate, is like that scene in Rushmore where Bill Murray blocks the shit out of that kid, but for five minutes straight. ...
Real Madrid Don't Deserve A Champions League Title, So They'll Probably Get One
Part of what makes European soccer and the multiple trophies it awards each season so special is how close its mechanisms of rewarding champions come to achieving true meritocracy....
How To Fly With Young Children
It is a known fact that flight attendants are among the perkiest, cheeriest, bubbliest human beings on the planet. But have you ever wondered why?...
Farewell To Ted Cruz, Self-Made Sucker
Ted Cruz, the worst possible man, lost the Indiana Republican primary to Donald Trump yesterday. He’d staked it as his last stand in the nominating race, even brokering a cynical armistice with John Kasich to unify anybody-but-Trump voters in the state, and got clobbered anyway, by some 17 percentag...
Kyle Lowry Is Stuck In Playoff Hell Again
Kyle Lowry is living in some kind of nightmare. In Game 1 against the Heat last night, he hit a hero’s shot at the end of regulation to force overtime. It was the kind of bucket that seemed destined to lead the Raptors’ commemorative DVD of playoff highlights, but it was rendered meaningless when th...
Deadspin Up All Night: You Wanna Change The World Tomorrow
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Woof woof, I’m a dog. ...
Atlético Madrid Lose Their Way Into The Champions League Final
What makes Atlético Madrid different from most other great teams in the sport is that they have mastered the art of reactivity. The prevailing trend in elite soccer is the implementation of proactive, possession-based playing styles. Almost all the richest and therefore best teams in the world pack ...