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A Brief History Of Gonzalo Higuaín Being A Choke Artist
Just when we thought Lionel Messi would finally end Argentina’s trophy drought and in the process get those dumb doubters from his native homeland off his back for good this weekend, Gonzalo Higuaín went ahead and shat the bed. Since we can’t sing the G.O.A.T.’s praises today, let’s at least take so...
People Who Hate Air Conditioning Are Commie Assholes
It’s summer again, which means it’s time for a whole new round of dirty hippie assholes smarming up the Internet with their anti-air conditioning takes. Even the Pope got in on it. NOT COOL, COOL POPE. Anyway, these air conditioning shamers are a scourge and they must be destroyed, starting with the...
Oh God, What Is Croup, Does My Kid Have It, Oh God Oh God Oh God
Parenting a small child means, of course, doubling the number of people whose well being is your responsibility. This can be difficult, for a Wearer Of A Garbage Bag Because You Forgot To Buy Laundry Soap For The 27th Consecutive Week—for someone who has arrived, mostly by accident, deep in the swam...
Listen To All Five U.S. Goals As Called By Telemundo's Andrés Cantor
While Fox’s J.P. Dellacamera did an adequate job calling today’s Women’s World Cup final, an even more legendary soccer broadcaster called the match elsewhere on U.S. television: Andrés ¡GOOOOOL! Cantor, on Telemundo. Since you were probably watching on Fox, we’ve compiled all five U.S. goals as air...
“From the time I was playing Junior hockey for the Sarnia Sting to my first year in the NHL with the Los Angeles Kings, I would start drinking the second I woke up on my days off. I smoked marijuana every single day. By the time I was 19 years old, I was using cocaine weekly,” Rich Clune writes in T...
Runner Loses Prestigious 10K By Celebrating Too Early
Today’s world-class Peachtree Road Race came down to a photo finish as American Ben Payne lost out to British former Olympian Scott Overall thanks to a brief celebratory hesitation just shy of the finish line....
How To Cook A Brisket, Which Is Totally Worth The Effort, I Swear
Just once in your life, cook a brisket, over smoky charcoal heat, on the grill. Do it for the solemn pride of having done so, and for the rime of authority it will lend to your future haughty pronouncements on the quality of others’ briskets. Do it because brisket—a massive cut of tough working musc...
Croatian Basketball Star Leaves National Team Over Sneaker Dispute
Dragan Bender, a 17-year-old Croatian basketball star who could be a top pick in the NBA draft one day, left the Croatian national team and the FIBAU19 tournament at the end of June over a sneaker dispute between Jordan and adidas. ...
AFL Teams Perform Moving Postgame Tribute To Murdered Coach
Collingwood and Hawthorn came together in a circle following last night’s match at Melbourne Cricket Ground to remember Adelaide coach Phil Walsh, who was murdered in his home this week....
Conor McGregor Has As Much Sex As Possible, Would "Dismantle" Mayweather
While Conor McGregor’s scheduled bout against Jose Aldo next Saturday is off the table, McGregor still made an appearance on Conan last night in preparation for his new opponent Chad Mendes. And McGregor had plenty to say, including that he has “as much sex as possible” before big fights and that we...
Freddy Adu Scored The Saddest Free Kick You'll Ever See
Remember Freddy Adu? Remember the guy that was supposed to save American soccer? Four months ago he signed with Kuopion Palloseura, in the Finnish first division. They’re the eleventh team the still-somehow-only-26-year-old Adu has played for: D.C. United —> Real Salt Lake —> Benfica —> AS Monaco —>...
Aussie Rules Football Coach Killed, Son Held For The Stabbing
Phil Walsh, the head coach of the Australian Football League’s Adelaide Crows, was stabbed to death in his home at around 2:00 a.m. Australian time today. Paramedics and police arrived after somebody in the house (likely Walsh’s wife) called Australia’s version of 911, but they were unable to save h...
What The Hell Did Dwyane Wade Just Sign?
The AP reports that Dwyane Wade has agreed to a one-year, $20 million contract. What the hell?...
Deadspin Up All Night: On My John Lithgow
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Go enjoy yourself....
The Perfect Grilled Hot Dog
If you’ve ever been in the meat aisle of the grocery store getting ready for a party and trying to figure out how much chuck you need to make burgers, but then decided, “Nah, this is too hard, we’ll just do hot dogs,” then this post is for you. Grilling hot dogs is an American pastime for everyone, ...
Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This?
Welcome back to Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This? a regular feature in which we ask readers to identify a baseball player based on a closely cropped image of his disgusting chin. So, whose chin is this? Use the image slider below to find out....
I Think The 76ers Just Fleeced The Kings
The 76ers are approximately $40 million under next season’s salary cap, but they aren’t chasing LeBron James, LaMarcus Aldridge, or any other big name free agents. Instead, they’re making themselves available to teams looking to shed salary, trying to pick up future assets in return. ...
Deadspin Up All Night: I'll Follow You Down
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Stay right where you are....
How To Deal With People Tripping Balls, According To The Grateful Dead
What we have here is a flyer for the security crew on the Grateful Dead reunion show about how to deal with concert-goers who are tripping on acid, which, let’s be honest, is probably most everyone there. Their advice? Don’t feed the animals. Don’t interact with someone having a bad trip. Different ...