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76ers Win Right To Trade Somebody For Two Second-Rounders In 2017
Well, it was worth it. At long last, it was worth it. The two forfeited seasons, the lottery picks spent on bum legs, the young players traded for assets, the assets traded for lesser assets, the draft lottery letting the Heat and Lakers keep their picks instead of shipping them to Philly, the TED t...
Timberwolves Will Draft First, Knicks The Big Loser Of The Lottery
The NBA held the annual draft lottery Tuesday night, and as usual it provided drama in equal measures of hope and disappointment. This is the order teams will be picking in next month:...
Deadspin Up All Night: Do What I Wanna Do
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How To Win Your First Week At A New Job
The nice thing about a new job is that it probably won’t start sucking immediately. It’ll be easy at first—kind of like the first week of class, where the only thing expected of you is your presence and appropriate clothing (anything beyond pajamas). But unlike the first week of school, your first w...
The World Is A Hurtful Goddamn Mess: A Message To The Class Of 2015
Oh, God. Grad season. THE WORST. Yes, it’s that time of year when colleges around the nation pay $50,000+ a pop for some celebrity or politician or (God help the children) author to come in and spray hot knowledge all over the senior class before the kids can finally stand in line for a diploma and ...
Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood" Video Is Not A Feminist Manifesto
Taylor Swift, the ambassador of zero chill, spent nine days advertising the debut of her music video for “Bad Blood,” which finally aired during Sunday night’s Billboard Music Awards. The song is the worst track from her chart-topping album, 1989; the new version is redeemed only by an appearance fr...
Report: NFL And Pats Participating In "Back-Channel Conversations"
The NFL and New England Patriots find themselves in a messy dispute that has the potential to irreparably damage the league. The NFL levied a harsh punishment upon Tom Brady and the Patriots based upon middling evidence, and are basically making up league rules on the fly. Meanwhile, Tom Brady’s app...
Linesman Takes Massive Hit, Has To Leave Hockey Game
A Steven Stamkos hit on Kevin Klein led to NHL linesman Brad Kovachik being knocked out of tonight’s Lightning-Rangers game in the second period. Backup linesman Greg Devorski took over for Kovachik. We don’t have word yet on Kovachik’s condition....
Deadspin Up All Night: I Can't Talk On Phones
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Cristiano Ronaldo Scoffs At Championship, Exults In His Own Ronaldoness
For pretty much everyone involved or invested in La Liga, the biggest opportunity on offer during yesterday’s penultimate match day of the season was, seemingly, for Barcelona to wrap up the league title by beating Atlético. Cristiano Ronaldo, though, had his eyes on a larger prize. While Barcelona ...
How TMZ Misreported A Former NFLer's Place And Cause Of Death
Linebacker Adrian Robinson, who bounced around the NFL and last played in a game in 2013, was found dead in Philadelphia on Saturday night. According to the medical examiner’s office, his death was ruled suicide by hanging. There are no more details yet, but this wholly contradicts an earlier report...
I'd Never Watched <i>Mad Men </i>Before; Here's My Take On The Crap Finale
I missed my chance to be a Mad Men watcher something like five years ago, when I was hopelessly unemployed and torrenting God knows how how many consecutive life sentences’ worth of shit, but I didn’t get on board, and friends said it was probably not a show you want to binge. (This is code for “Bor...
Coach Allows Player Held Responsible For Sex Crime To Start Every Game
Elon defensive back Adrian McClendon started every game last season despite taking a plea deal one year ago on sexual battery charges, the Elon Pendulum reports. McClendon is accused of groping a woman against her will and with force in March 2014; his deal with prosecutors led to the sophomore plea...
A Semi-Competent Father's Guide To Volunteering At Your Kid's School
One of the best parts of being a dad in public is the generalized expectation that you are basically a greased-up Kevin James playing banana-cream-pie Jenga with the Queen Mum. Remember those early solo outings with your baby and the generously low bar that you were held to? Doors held open, the faw...
Phil Jones Falling Down Chasing The Ball Is A Blast In Extreme Slow-Mo
Manchester United drew 1-1 with Arsenal yesterday in a battle of clubs fighting for third place in the Premiership, and the desire to win drove Man United defender Phil Jones to the ground in search of a ball that was just a bit too elusive—no matter how much crawling it took. But even from his hand...
Russia Will Be Punished For Skipping Canadian National Anthem
Russia got smoked by Canada, 6-1, in yesterday’s final of the IIHF World Championship, the most prestigious annual tournament in hockey. (The U.S. took the bronze). The Russian players stuck around for the medal ceremony, but left the ice before Canada’s national anthem was played:...
Phillies Catcher Accidentally Pegs Pitcher In Throat
Thank the capabilities of slow-mo these days, because just seconds after Phillies catcher Cameron Rupp flung a ball right into pitcher Sean O’Sullivan’s throat, the broadcast immediately showed two exceptional angles of “Man Getting Hit By Baseball.”...
Legendary Climber Dean Potter Dead After Wingsuit Disaster
Extreme athlete and adventurer Dean Potter is dead after a failed attempt at wingsuit flight from Yosemite’s Taft Point. Potter held the speed climbing record for The Nose at El Capitan—one of climbing’s signature routes—three separate times, though his notoriety may stem from his more controversial...