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How To Get A Chill Cat
So you’ve decided to get a pet. Maybe you’re hankering for some furry companionship to perk up the lonesome evenings. Perhaps you’re attempting to plug an emotional gap in your life by saving some of god’s non-edible creatures. Or maybe you just want to strike back at those people clogging up your I...
Deadspin Up All Night: It May Be Your Best Friend
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Lot going on out there....
Diego Maradona Prepares For Coming Alien Invasion With Boxing Dummy
Just know that, when the giant blue Martians that have been hibernating miles deep in the Earth's crust finally emerge and begin their assault on this wonderful thing we call human civilization, Diego Maradona has been training and will knock those sons of bitches right back to where they came fro...
Jockey Picks Absolute Worst Time To Jump Off His Horse
The jockey you see getting smoked by a fence in the GIF above is named Lewis Ferguson (don't worry, he's not dead), and this happened during what was apparently his first-ever race with fences. Poor Lewis made some mistakes....
April Fool’s Day, As Orchestrated By My 9-Year-Old
1. I wake up and walk downstairs....
The Lame Clippers Crowd Made Blake Griffin All Sad
Last night's game between the Warriors and Clippers, a nationally televised contest between two powerful conference rivals, was one of those games that's supposed to come with a "playoff atmosphere," featuring the home fans going nuts and chanting mean things at the visitors and causing all kinds of...
This New Sierra Nevada Beer Is Offensive and Delightful
Yesterday, the Brewers Association, the Craft Beer Movement's™ leading definer of words and bestower of medals, published their list of the "Top 50 Breweries of 2014," by which they mean "50 Biggest Breweries That Happen to Meet Today's Definition of 'Craft,' Which We Change More Frequently Than Our...
Rex Chapman To Call Kentucky Game; Prosecutors Decline Theft Charges
The last time you saw Rex Chapman probably was in this surveillance camera footage from September, showing the former NBA shooting guard taking things off the shelves of a Scottsdale (Ariz.) Apple store. Police said Chapman never paid for those items; instead they said he sold the more than $14,000 ...
Report: St. Louis County Dropped From Plan To Finance New Rams Stadium
The effort to build a new riverfront stadium to keep the Rams in St. Louis suffered a blow last week. According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Missouri Governor Jay Nixon informed St. Louis County Executive Steve Stenger's office that the county's participation in the proposed $985 million stad...
Deadspin Up All Night: On My Way Without You
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. God bless PG, and no place else....
Cutting Down Nets Is Stupid
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering Easter, third parties, saunas, pencils, and more....
Watching Rocky II With The Champ
Nice work by Longform hipping us to this 1979 article by Roger Ebert about watching Rocky II with Muhammad Ali:...
Phillies To Start Serving Hard Liquor And Wine To Fans
Good news for Phillies fans who would like to increase their chances at catching vomit spray from some drunk goon at a ballgame this year: For the first time ever, the team will be selling wine and cocktails on the main concourse at Citizens Bank Park. ...
How To Make Friends With Other Parents Without Embarrassing Yourself
Hi, new parent. Welcome. So you have a kid now, and you may think sleepless nights and wide-arcing pee hitting you in the eye from an unencumbered baby penis are the worst things you'll face. But you are wrong. There is something else coming that could scare you into living in total obscurity in...
Deadcast: Is Coach K The Most Hateable CBB Coach Ever? (Yes.)
The Final Four starts on Saturday, which means it's time for us to dust off the microphones and do a little Deadcast, exploring the most hateable college basketball coaches to choose from. And it's such a deep, deep pool of candidates, really. None of them are actually LIKEABLE, especially now tha...
The Lakers' Pyrrhic Victory Lays Bare The NBA's Flawed Incentives
With the game tied 111-111 with 0.7 seconds left in overtime, the Lakers' Jordan Clarkson made a layup to defeat the 76ers. Clarkson was the 46th pick in the draft, sandwiched between two guys named Dwight Powell and Russ Smith. Both Powell and Smith have already been traded—in Powell's case three...
Alex Poythress Doesn't Prove That John Calipari Is The Devil
Originally published on Slate....
Deadspin Up All Night: Freeze, Repeat, Rewind
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. No Flex Zone....
How To Make An Adequate Manhattan
The Adequate Man is almost assuredly a boozer. Most abstainers do so because their sobriety is mandated by either higher-order preoccupations—see Chuck D, Thomas Edison, and Mister Fred Rogers—or legal/medical necessity, as with your cousin Jeff and your other two cousins Jeff....
Bad Hockey Man Viciously Slashes Opponent During Warmups
Andre Deveaux is a journeyman forward who's bounced around various hockey leagues, including the NHL, and now finds himself playing professionally for Rögle in Sweden. He also finds himself being a tremendous dick, and doing things like slashing an opposing player from behind during pregame warmups....