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Deadcast: The Hater’s Guide To The Field Of 68
The tournament is here! Obscure schools! Slow play! Poor shooting! Adorable upsets that are violently corrected in the boring later rounds! It's all here! I'm gonna head to the bar at 1 p.m., eyebang the barstools until a free one opens up, and then get TERRIBLE barstool ass sores over the cou...

LeBron James Called This Dwyane Wade Game-Winner
Old Man Dwyane Wade's been on a nice little run lately, averaging nearly 30 points per game over his last seven. He dropped 32 on the Portland Trail Blazers last night, the most important of which came by way of this smooth, game-winning jumper at the tail end of the fourth quarter. The Blazers prob...

Deadspin Up All Night: I Deserve A Grammy
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Tag you're it! ...

My Beloved Stuffed Animal Needs A Bath, And I'm A Nervous Wreck
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Holy Mother Carlos Tevez Just Bombed Germany With This Rocket Golazo
Juventus and Borussia Dortmund are playing today, right now. A few minutes ago, they kicked off. Then two minutes passed. Then Juventus's Carlos Tevez got the ball. Then he blew up Germany's hopes, and also Germany. No more high-quality vehicles for anyone. Because there's no more Germany. Germany's...

Today In Tifos
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Seth Davis Is Still Promoting His Mom's Hoax Cancer Cures
During BYU-Ole Miss, you might have been perplexed by this tweet from Sports Illustrated writer and CBS Sports analyst Seth Davis, after Cougar guard Chase Fisher did something good....

If You Like Lanky, Versatile Big Men, Root For Frank Kaminsky
If the only skin you have in March Madness is the money you've invested in bracket pools, might I suggest paying attention to the 7-foot Midwesterner with the name of a 50-year-old plumber? Wisconsin's extremely talented forward Frank Kaminsky has led the 31-3 Badgers to their first-ever No. 1 see...

How To Bury Your Parents
Your mom is going to die. Your dad is also going to die....

If You Hate College Basketball, Root For Iowa State
Maybe you're one of those basketball aesthetes who dreads March Madness, who just doesn't understand why anyone would want to watch a bunch of semi-skilled college kids try to hump a ball into a basket 35 seconds at a time. That's fine! You can hate college basketball all you want, but I'm here to t...

Round Of 16 Champions League Tie Ends In Sorry Display Of Penalties
After 120 full minutes at the Vicente Calderón in Madrid, the round of 16 Champions League tie between Atletico Madrid and Bayer Leverkusen was level 1-1 on aggregate. Time for some penalties!...

Deadspin Up All Night: You're A Coyote
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Potatoes are probably underrated....

Report: Browns Offered First-Round Pick For Sam Bradford
After the Rams traded Sam Bradford to the Eagles for Nick Foles, both Chip Kelly and Jeff Fisher said that they had been offered a first-round pick for Bradford. It was probably the Browns....

Why Would Gareth Bale Want To Go Back To England?
There's a battle for Gareth Bale's soul being waged in the media of two different countries. On one side, you have the Spanish press expressing the frustrations of their readers by bashing the player's lazy, timid displays on the pitch. On the other, the press in Bale's native Britain is using its...

No Jokes, Period: A Polite Guy's Guide To A Girl's Time Of The Month
Sometimes the most basic piece of information is also the most helpful, and so, as we begin what I should warn you up front will be a long, intense treatise on this topic, let me tell you this: No two women's periods are alike. Our periods are as unique as we are, which, of course, makes understandi...

How To Cook Some Tasty (For Once!) Cabbage, For St. Patrick's Day
I love St. Patrick's Day. I know it's terribly unfashionable to admit so, but I love it all: I love the wearing of the green, I love the dogs in costume, I love the KISS ME I'M IRISH buttons. Give me a pair of glittered, bobbly shamrocks affixed to a headband and I'm one bonny Irish lass. The gree...

We Asked 14 Retired NFL Players: Would You Do It Again?
With Chris Borland's retirement from the San Francisco 49ers at age 24, the question of whether an NFL career is worth the potential price is coming up yet again. This makes it a good time to turn to the people with the most informed opinions on the subject: former NFL players....

Retiring From NFL To Juggle Grenades Is A Bad Idea, Says Mike Florio
Bright and promising 24-year-old 49ers linebacker Chris Borland announced his retirement yesterday, after just one season in the NFL. He wants to preserve his neurological and cognitive functioning, and figures a decade of smashing his head into things isn't the best way to do it. Seems reasonab...

This Is How Being The Biggest Dude In The World Helps You Score Goals
When Adebayo Akinfenwa last dropped-kicked our door down and announced his presence, he showed off his nose for goal with a tap-in against Liverpool in the F.A. Cup. It was a perfectly fine striker's goal, but it wasn't exactly what you'd hoped to see from a guy with a 97 strength rating in FIFA. Th...

Everyone Wants Chris Borland To Mean Something
The San Francisco 49ers' official statement on Chris Borland's retirement doesn't mention why he's retiring, of course. It has a quote from the general manager on how they respect his decision, and a big fat paragraph on his accomplishments in a successful rookie season, but nothing stands out quite...