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What Our Parents Thought Of Deadspin This Year
The writers at Deadspin asked their moms and dads what they thought of the site in 2014. Here are their unedited responses....

Philadelphia Hosts World's Shortest Running Event
Have you ever found yourself envious of all those races runners participate in, but are unwilling to actually run? Then Philadelphia (which, it should be noted, is the 14th-fattest city in the U.S.) has just the event for you....

Deadspin Up All Night: My Comrades Want Them Mills
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Everyone just calm down....

Jimmy Clausen Diagnosed With Concussion After Taking Brutal Shot To Head
Late in yesterday's loss to the Detroit Lions, Bears quarterback Jimmy Clausen nearly got his damn head taken off by Ziggy Ansah at the end of a short scramble. Clausen stayed in to finish the drive, the Bears' last of the game, and now it's being reported that he experienced "delayed symptoms" of a...

The Scientology Christmas Catalog Is Totally Insane
Finding the right gift for everyone in your family can be a real bitch. Your mom just wants a phone call. Your dad wants you to find a job. These are not easy people to shop for. But what about your second cousin who moved to L.A., got introduced to Scientology by an actor friend, joined the ch...

The Year In Sports Fans: The Good, The Bad, And The Bills
Sports fans were all over the place in 2014. There were fights, babies, whimsical drunks, scary drunks, sports, dicks, and butts. Take a look back at some of the most notable fans....

Cheap Wine-Lover Stocking Stuffers, $14 IR Thermometer, and More Deals
These wine-related deals would all make great last minute gifts....

Rape, Murder, Violent Racism: The Weirdest McDonald's Ad Campaign Ever
So 28 years ago this month, McDonald's put together a campaign that would dominate the fast-food giant's advertising strategy for years. "Mac Tonight," a ploy to redefine the restaurant as a place worthy of serving you not just breakfast and lunch, but dinner, too, starred an anthropomorphic cresc...

Marshawn Lynch's Non-Answers To Stupid Questions Have Reporters Furious
Here's the last half of Marshawn's Lynch's curt, polite press conference after he ran off a play that everyone wanted to talk about. Without taking sides, it's easy to understand why reporters are frustrated that Lynch wouldn't play ball. It's also easy to understand why Lynch hates this shit....

Player Gets Red Card For Hacking Down His Own Brother
I mean, I get it. Sometimes, brothers suck. Sometimes, shit gets heated. Sometimes, there's nothing to do but take a running start, slide two feet through the back of their legs, and deal with Ma Dukes later....

K.J. McDaniels's Mom Is The Best Sports Mom
The 76ers beat the Magic in Orlando last night, a fact that was of very little concern to Sixers shooting guard K.J. McDaniels's mom, who was in attendance and continued to demonstrate that she couldn't give less of a shit about the Sixers, and just wants to see her son ball....

Cristiano Ronaldo Statue Features A Big Ol' Bulging Dick
Cristiano Ronaldo is, quite deservedly, an icon in his hometown of Funchal, Madeira, Portugal—so much so that he has a museum dedicated in his honor. This weekend, Ronaldo was on hand to witness the unveiling of a new statue made in his image. What can we say? The statue is sporting a huge erection....

"Chill, Bro!" Video Shows Chad Kelly Brawling With Bouncers
A reader sent us video of the fight that allegedly sparked Ole Miss quarterback signee Chad Kelly to threaten an AK-47 massacre at a Buffalo-area bar, and what it lacks in aesthetics it more than makes up for in bystander awareness....

Cops: QB Threatened AK-47 Massacre Days After Signing With Ole Miss
Police say Chad Kelly, who signed a letter of intent to play quarterback for Ole Miss just days ago, allegedly fought with bouncers at a Buffalo bar and threatened to commit an assault rifle massacre last night. ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Truth
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. ...

Jimmy Clausen Got Speared In The Head
All about fair play, these Lions are....

DeSean Jackson Delivers A Swift Kick To The Eagles' Playoff Hopes
DeSean Jackson had a fun Saturday. The former Philadelphia Eagle got revenge on the team that cut him as he racked up 126 receiving yards on four catches, including two receptions of over 50 yards. Sure, Washington's been a grotesque circus this season, but for Jackson, it must have felt nice to tot...

You Can Take The Phillyfan Out Of Philly, But...
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Adam Silver Is Trying His Best To Ignore Tanking
NBA Commissioner Adam Silver reiterated his beliefs on tanking in an interview with Outside the Lines, namely, that tanking does not exist. Here are Silver's words, via ESPN: ...

Viggo Mortensen Calls Cristiano Ronaldo A Pretty Boy Choke Artist
Viggo Mortensen—the NYC-born, Buenos Aires-raised Danish-American actor most famous for playing Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings movies—is a humongous fan of Argentine club San Lorenzo. His team has reached the final of the FIFA Club World Cup, where they face Real Madrid. As well as acting, Mortens...