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I'll Never Understand Canadian Football Rules
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Former MLS Reporter: Team Pushed To Get Me Fired
The Colorado Rapids are slouching toward the end of a dispiriting season, and because this is how sports work, fans are wondering whom should be blamed. Last week, one of them asked MLSsoccer.com Rapids beat reporter Chris Bianchi for his opinion. Here's how he responded:...

Deadspin Up All Night: That's Just How I Feel
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Sports....

Here's An Unconscious Browns Fan In The Jacksonville Parking Lot
A tipster in Jacksonville sends along this photo of a Browns fan, having been vanquished by Blake Bortles and the Jaguars and a punt to the face, lying belly-up in the Jacksonville parking lot. ...

Gennady Golovkin's Crushing Overhand Knockout Punch, In Slow Motion
We gave you one shot of GGG's second-round knockout last night, but HBO threw up the realtime and reverse-angle slow motion shots. It's worth a re-watch, if only to gawk at how ordinary Golovkin can look throwing an overhand left that would drop an APC. ...

LenDale White Kicked Out Of USC Game, Calls AD Pat Haden "Coward"
Former NFL running back and USC alum LenDale White was having a good time at the Trojans' game against Colorado, until he wasn't. White says he was kicked out of the Coliseum during after Saturday's game; he also had words for athletic director Pat Haden and the program....

Gennady Golovkin Wins Again With A Devastating Knockout Punch
Marco Antonio Rubio only lasted to the second round before being eliminated by a brutal left from Gennady Golovkin. We're used to seeing this sort of waste being laid by GGG, but will anyone step up to present a real challenge to the Scariest Man Alive?...

Deadspin Up All Night: Yesterday Is Yesterday
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Domers 'bout to Do It....

Here's A Good Way To Get Ejected From A Football Game
It's also a good way to become paralyzed....

How To Make Fried Mozzarella, Instead Of Getting It At A Crummy Bar
It's a perverse testament to fried mozzarella's greatness that even in its shittiest incarnations, even when it's just battered and deep-fried sticks of rubbery Polly-O string cheese prepared and served at your local dire corporate chain eatery with all the care and enthusiasm of a wino tumbling d...

Deadspin Up All Night: Don't Cry No Tears
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This Woman Wants You To Help Her Bone Sergio Romo
We got a lot of emails this week, but none were better than the one we received on Wednesday from a woman who calls herself K.G. We want to share it with you, not only because we admire K.G.'s free-spirited outlook on life, but because she is seeking assistance....

Chugging Is Dumb
We need to talk about your drinking. To have an intervention, of sorts....

The Cheapest Good Headphones, A Cleaner Mouth, and More Deals
If your dentist isn't thrilled with you when you come to visit every six months, it might be time to upgrade your toothbrush. Amazon has solid coupons available on the Oral-B Healthy Clean 3000, and the Deep Sweep 5000. These actually straddle our favorite toothbrush, the SmartSeries 4000, so buy ...

Madison Bumgarner's Fastball Is Getting Deadlier
Giants ace Madison Bumgarner didn't seem to have his best stuff during Game 5 of the NLCS, and was particularly let down by his cutter. It was flat, non-biting versions of that pitch that yielded an RBI double to Jon Jay and a solo home run to Tony Cruz Jr. (Matt Adams also took him deep on a curveb...

Katie Nolan Tries To Chug Six Beers Better Than Madison Bumgarner
Katie Nolan has a problem with people claiming that pitcher Madison Bumgarner's chugging four, five, or six beers after the Giants win postseason games. (We've gone with different wordings, because he's really just pouring them on his face, though that's still cool.) So, Nolan attempted to show ho...

Massive Soccer Brawl With Punches, Flying Kicks, Sees 12 Guys Sent Off
Deportivo Roca and Cipolletti, rivals in Argentina's 3rd division, really, really don't like each other. In the middle of a match between the two earlier this week, one bad tackle sparked a full on melee, with multiple players catching fists to the face and studs to the body....

Madison Bumgarner Takes Six Beers To The Face
Giants ace Madison Bumgarner "chugged" four beers at once when his team won the wild card play-in game. When he "chugged" five beers after winning the NLDS, everyone wondered if he'd be able to work his way up to six beers in the event of an NLCS win. So, did he go for the full sixer last night? Y...

Mike Matheny Manages The Cardinals Straight Out Of The Playoffs
According to possibly apocryphal lore, Tommy Lasorda described baseball thusly:...

They'll Love Tom Brady In La Liga
You are now imagining Tom Brady holding his face and rolling around on the ground....