ah Page 318 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sarah Robles Becomes First U.S. Weightlifter To Medal In 16 Years
These are not a United States of weightlifting. No woman had medaled in the event since 2000, and no male weightlifter has found the podium since 1984. So when Sarah Robles took bronze today with a combined lift of 286kg, it was a cause to celebrate....
Zlatan Scores, Makes World Reconsider Hatred Of Manchester United In EPL Debut<em></em>
Zlatan Ibrahimović has never once let us down, so there was no question that he would score in his Premier League debut with Manchester United against Bournemouth today; the only question was how. Volley from 40 yards out? Bender from a corner? Hypnosis? If you had your money on “exploiting a near-i...
Kenyan Track Coach Learns The Hard Way That There's No Free Lunch In Rio
A Kenyan track coach was caught yesterday using a runner’s accreditation, apparently to get a free meal in the Olympic Village, and booted from the Olympics. He’s an idiot, yes, but he wasn’t the only idiot. This story resonates....
Kayla Harrison Is The Best And I'm In Awe Of Her
Four years ago, Kayla Harrison became the first American to win an Olympic gold medal in judo. Yesterday, Harrison became the first woman from any country to win multiple golds at half heavyweight, and her final match only looked difficult because she made the rest of them look so easy....
Kenyan Track Coach Reportedly Posed As Runner To Give A Fake Urine Sample To Doping Control
Earlier this week, Kenyan Athletics’ Michael Rotich was detained by Kenyan police on accusations that he was soliciting bribes from coaches in exchange for warning them about approaching doping tests. This afternoon, Kenya’s Citizen TV reported that track coach John Anzrah was caught posing as an at...
What To Pack For A Nuclear Attack You Won't Survive Anyway
I spend most of my time thinking about one of two frightening things: how I could have had more fun in college, and what will happen when there’s a nuclear attack against the United States. (And I do believe it will happen in my lifetime.) Nuclear war and nuclear terrorism are just about the scaries...
The Complicated Story Of American Olympians And The Hijab<em></em>
This is the story of two Olympians wearing hijabs. One is U.S. fencer Ibtihaj Muhammad, who is one of the faces of these Olympics, and a vocal stereotype piercer for black Muslim women. The other is Sarah Attar, an under-the-radar Californian who will cover her head, arms, and legs when she competes...
What Is Everyone Trying To Tell Us About Katinka Hosszú And Her Hot-Tempered Coach-Husband?
Hungarian swimmer Katinka Hosszú won gold in the 400 meter individual medley last night, smashing the world record by over two seconds. She will compete in four other events during these Olympics, and stands a good chance at becoming one of Rio’s most decorated athletes. But surrounding all of her a...
Katinka Hosszú's Ridiculous Record-Breaking 400 IM, Visualized<em></em>
Hungarian Katinka Hosszú smashed the women’s 400 IM record last night by 2.07 seconds, the biggest leap in world record progression since East German Petra Schneider’s performance at Moscow in 1980. To illustrate just how fast Hosszú was in comparison to previous champions, we’ve matched up the prev...
Yesterday's Best Judo Ippons, As Called By "J.R." Jim Ross
Olympics organizers can be sick people, as evidenced by their decision to schedule the single-elimination event of judo—one in which a competitor’s entire Olympics experience can be over in seconds—first thing on Day 1. Here are several of those competitors being eliminated by ippon, as called by pr...
Florida Gulf Coast Somehow Wins Game Despite Finishing With Three Players
Florida Gulf Coast University, aka Dunk City, defeated the Providence Storm this afternoon down in the Bahamas. As you’ll notice the box score below, FGCU picked up the 92-89 comeback win despite five of their eight players fouling out. The Eagles finished the game with just three players, coming in...
Frank Ocean Has No Pages, But Matisyahu Has Plenty
I do not believe that the extremely good musician Frank Ocean will release his album today. Our paper of record did, based on an insider with knowledge of Ocean’s deal with Apple, but they’re going to look silly, just like all of us. How could we be so gullible? Here’s an image he presents on the al...
Falcons Cut Player After Learning Of Four Separate Sexual Assault Allegations
The Atlanta Falcons released former Utah State linebacker Torrey Green today after prosecutors decided to give another look at the claims of four women who alleged that Green sexually assaulted them....
The Thunder Bought One More Year To Solve Their Russell Westbrook Problem
Make no mistake about it. Despite Russell Westbrook’s new Thunder contract being reported as a three-year, $85.7 million deal, this is a one-year extension, and it is merely buying time. One extra season for Westbrook to decide if he wants to stay in Oklahoma City long-term. One extra season for Sam...
Please Enjoy Michael And Martellus Bennett Roasting The Rest Of The NFL
ESPN’s Mina Kimes has written a great profile of Michael and Martellus Bennett, the two brothers who consistently provide the best soundbites in the NFL. The whole story is an enjoyable read, but one highlight is the brothers issuing raw takes on other figures around the league....
Kick In The Face Sparks Brawl Between U.S., Bahrain Youth Teams
The United States U19 men’s national team lost to Bahrain today, 3-1, crashing out of the COTIF tournament in Spain despite defeating the hosts only a few nights earlier. Towards the end of the game, with the U.S. already deeply frustrated at being down to the tiny gulf nation, a Bahraini player har...
Women's Youth Soccer Championship Featured Terrible Pitch, Even Worse Miss
Yesterday, France and Spain met in the Women’s U-19 Euro final. Torrential rain before and during the match—and the baffling decision not to cancel play on a count of the pitch being a swamp—meant there was always the threat of something truly zany and/or horrifying happening. That threat was realiz...
Russell Wilson Remains Incredibly Corny
The Costacos Brothers, creators of those campy, extremely literal posters of athletes in the ‘80s, have “come out of retirement” to make a special edition poster of Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson. The NFL player and recent sex-haver is: Armed and Dangeruss....
Assault Victim Files Lawsuit Against Oklahoma RB Joe Mixon
Amelia Molitor, the victim of a 2014 assault by Joe Mixon, filed a complaint against the Oklahoma running back in San Francisco’s U.S. District Court Friday....
Dion Waiters Handled His Free Agency Like He Handles Open Corner Threes
Dion Waiters had a very Dion Waiters season as a member of the Thunder in 2015-16. Which is to say he tossed bricks all over the court, carried himself like he was the best scorer on the team, and nearly altered the course of NBA history with one supremely boneheaded but effective forearm shiver. Ho...