ah Page 426 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Persian Awakening In Perry Hall: Uptight Mullahs Forced To Reverse Decision On Soccer Team's Bernie Dance
Yesterday, we brought you news that the Grand Ayatollah of Perry High School in Maryland had cancelled the boys varsity soccer season after players did the Bernie on the field. The dance was deemed "unacceptable" by the Grand Ayatollah, who also goes by the name Principal George Roberts....
Uptight Mullahs Punish Soccer Team For Gyrations They Deem Indecent
No, not the Iranians. The Patch site for Perry Hall, Maryland, reports that the principal of Perry Hall High School shut down the boys' soccer team after the players celebrated a playoff victory by doing the Bernie on the field. Principal George Roberts declared that because of the dance exhibition,...
Let's Watch Alex Ovechkin, Benched Late In Regulation, Call His Coach A "Fat Fuck"
Your morning roundup for Nov. 2, the day you wouldn't dare touch our Halloween candy if you knew what was up. Video of Ovechkin, which gets good at the 53-second mark, via 25stanley.com. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
When You Invite Kevin Durant To Play Intramural Flag Football, He Might Just Show Up
What happened last night at Oklahoma State is a spiritual cousin to Nyjer Morgan being told on Twitter to go fly a kite, then doing it. Only less mentally imbalanced....
Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Later, Sooners
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...
Patrick Kane Pulled Off A Perfect Spin-O-Rama Assist Last Night
The Hawks beat the Ducks 3-2 in a shutout in Chicago last night, and Patrick Kane, our favorite Buffalo boozehound, provided the prettiest play of the game. This assist to Marian Hossa tied it up in the second period. Kane later told reporters that he'd discussed the move with Hawks great Denis Sa...
An Idaho-Based Pig Farmer Named Lindy Hinkleman Has Won $300,000 Playing Fantasy Baseball The Past Three Years
And really, what more is there to know than that? You're doing life wrong. [NYT]...
How Would Isiah Thomas Solve The Lockout? He's Glad You Asked
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Isiah, who's driven into the ground everything he's ever touched, has advice for both owner ...
You Can Finally Get In Tim Tebow's Pants
The pants in which Tim Tebow threw his first NFL touchdown are up for grabs (and more than $5,000) on eBay: "Throughout the pants there are multiple hit marks, stains, and tears." [eBay, via Rovell]...
You'd Probably Curse Too If You Got Stuck Reffing The Seahawks/Browns Game
Tipster Israel M. sent along this little snippet titled, "Ref in Cleveland-seattle game yells FUCK." Yes, he sure seems to do so....
Comcast In Charlotte North Carolina And Beyond May Not Realize The Hartford Whalers Became The Carolina Hurricanes
Writes tipster David L., "this picture shows the description of the Carolina vs. St. Louis replay last night on Comcast cable. Worst part was that it was a Carolina broadcast."...
Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
This here college-football day commences with No. 4 Oklahoma State visiting Missouri. It's a momentous contest being broadcast by FX....
Raja Bell: David Stern "Rules With An Iron Fist"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Raja Bell spits truth....
Idiot Utah Sports Columnist More Or Less Calls Amar'e Stoudemire A Dumb Negro
Doug Robinson, the resident paste-eating troglodyte at the Deseret News, has gone and written a truly remarkable column this week....
When I Dance They Call Me Kirilenko
CSKA Moscow, Andrei Kirilenko's new professional team in Russia, had its Media Day recently. Naturally, this involved the players breaking into three groups and dancing to Muzak and outdated pop songs on a stage in a giant banquet hall somewhere in Moscow....
Here's To Running Backs Who Don't Run
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Good batch of 3:30 p.m. games: No. 1 LSU at Tennessee (CBS); No. 6 Oklahoma State at No. 22 Texas (ESPN); No. 12 Georgia Tech at Virginia (ESPNU); and Ohio State at No. 16 Illinois (ABC)....
Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Cowboys Up
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...
Today In Pollyannaish Things Written About The NBA Lockout: Only Michael Jordan Can Save Us
Here is the thing that's sometimes hard to grasp when games are being canceled and no end is in sight: everybody wants the lockout to end. No one is actively being greedy or selfish just because they hate you and don't want you to watch basketball. Both sides have demands and one side or both are go...
Surfer Twatster Hannah Cornett Will Catch Those Who Distributed Her Facebook Updates, Facebook Status Says
We haven't heard from our girl in a while, since she's been very reluctant to contact us, except through her attorney, of course. Some good news to report from her dizzy little world: whatever treacherous online ordeal she feels she's endured since our first story ran, she's now got the swift arm of...