ah Page 437 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Peter Forsberg Completes Two-Game Comeback For The Ages
Peter Forsberg, he of 885 career NHL points and a former winner of the Calder and Hart trophies, began his comeback by suiting up for the Colorado Avalanche on Friday night. It was his first NHL game since 2008, and Swedes were as excited as they could be. Unless Bjorn and Agnetha remarried....

Karl Malone Talks About The Impact Jerry Sloan Had On Karl Malone
Karl Malone made it perfectly clear at last night's Utah/Phoenix game that Karl Malone thinks former Jazz coach Jerry Sloan is not a quitter. Karl Malone says that he would drop everything Karl Malone is doing at any given time to support Sloan in any venture he undertakes....

Annoying Boston Person Heckles Lakers From Dorm Window
The Lakers held their practice in the gym at Emerson College. As they boarded the team bus, this shining example of America's future made sure to let them know exactly how he feels about them. Warning: Boston accent ahoy....

A Man You Want To See Punched In The Face Instantly Gets Punched In The Face
British fighter Usman Ahmed spends two minutes dancing his way to the ring — and gets knocked out in one. It encapsulates everything good, then bad, then good again about boxing....

Jerry Sloan Goes From Re-Signing To Resigning In 3 Days
After 22+ seasons on the bench in Utah — 21 one of them helming winning teams — Jerry Sloan is reportedly calling it quits. He had signed a one-year contract extension on Monday. Gregg Popovich is now the longest-tenured coach in the NBA....

OMG Puppies! And Other Highlights From Signing Day
A recruit hoisted a puppy, a mother forged her son's signature on a letter of intent, CBS made Rich Rodriguez interview his successor at Michigan, and many hats were donned. Signing day! First comes the built-up signature, next comes crushing disappointment....

Here's A Video Of Someone Dunking Who Is Not Blake Griffin
Last night, unranked Indiana defeated No. 20 Minnesota, 60-57. More importantly, though, Tom Pritchard, a 6'9" junior forward and also a white person, threw down what teammate Verdell Jones III called a "Space Jam Michael Jordan reach-back" dunk....

Large Man Dressed As Little Teapot Successfully Distracts Free Throw Shooter
"Wild Bill" Sproat, a man committed to Utah State basketball and revealing Disney-themed outfits, was responsible for the freshest style of fan heckling in college basketball last night: a "Mrs. Potts" costume and a nursery rhyme. Top that, Cameron....

A Throwback To A Day When NBA Players Didn't Try To Be Any Good At Rapping
Here we have: Magic Johnson, Isiah Thomas, Kevin McHale, Mark Aguirre, Bernard King, and Larry Bird, all reveling in the 1985 Converse "Monster" and their very mediocre and off-beat one-line boasts. How times have changed. [So What?]...

The Myth Of America's Team
What is America's team? Does a team that symbolizes blue collar struggle or no-frills democracy best define our nation? Or is it the wealthiest team with the biggest stadium in the biggest state? Or is it possible that this is all bullshit?...

The NFLPA Can Make A "Let Us Play" Ad, But The Networks Don't Have To Let It Play
The NFLPA released an ad for its "Let Us Play" campaign, and CBS won't run it during Saturday's Texas-America All-Star game. Could this be what the NFLPA, which is better at internetting than most teenagers, had in mind to begin with?...

Swimmer From Poland Strips For Playboy (Borderline NSFW)
Luiza Hryniewicz, 21-year-old Junior European swimming champion, will appear in next month's Playboy. Luiza seems to have enjoyed stripping....

O.J. Mayo Blames Gas Station Energy Drink For Positive Drug Test
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tracy Morgan Shares Naughty Thoughts About Sarah Palin With The TNT Crew
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jewish Hockey Player Sues Anaheim Ducks Alleging Anti-Semitic Harassment
Jason Bailey signed a three-year contract with the Ducks organization in 2008. They assigned him to play for the minor league Bakersfield Condors where, he claimed in a lawsuit filed Tuesday, he "was subject to severe and/or pervasive harassment."...

Wait, You Mean Someone Wants To Pay Vernon Wells?
The Angels traded away dependable if unspectacular backstop Mike Napoli. In return, they receive negative 86 million dollars over the next four years....

The Novitzky Scalps
Barry Bonds: Charged with four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice for telling a federal grand jury he never knowingly used steroids. The substance he's accused of taking, The Clear, was neither illegal nor specifically banned by baseball at the time of his testimony. Trial is ...

Mascot Fighting Fan Is Fake, Still Funny
The Utah Jazz's bear mascot, creatively named "Bear," recently got into it with a visiting Cavaliers "fan." Yeah, it's staged, but we totally believe that Cleveland fans would lose a fight with a furry....

Ibrahimovic Scores A Beauty
Self-publicist Zlatan Ibrahimovic — football's Ricky Gervais, the millionaire's Peter Crouch, the vagrant's Curtly Ambrose — put a small portion of money where his mouth is yesterday....

Your Appetizer Bears/Seahawks Open Thread
The Seattle Seahawks are playing for the right to host the NFC Championship Game [Post Intelligencer]. So are the Chicago Bears, but they're supposed to win so Zorn's old side is playing footloose and fancy free. [Chicago Tribune]...