ah Page 437 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Omaha Royals Change Team Name To Storm Chasers; Ensure Lameness With Promo Video
In what could prove to be the year's second-worst re-branding effort, the Omaha Royals announced today that they will now be known as the Storm Chasers. The promotional video almost makes it all pathetically endearing, but mostly it's just pathetic....

Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Kicking Spree Ends With Marco Materazzi Being Hospitalized
We warned you this would happen. Since giving Rodney Strasser a shoeing in training, old Zlatan has grown a worrying taste for showcasing his mad Taekwondo skillz at the most inappropriate moments....

Last Night's Winner: Saying N-O To Lingerie Football In OKC
Sorry Oklahoma City. If you want to watch a bunch of struggling models play a loose simulacrum of football, you'll just have to watch it on TV like everybody nobody else....

IOC Keeps Stuffing Its Head Up Its Ass With Doping Policy
When athletes blame failed drug tests on protein supplements, I usually call bullshit. But in this story, U.S. swimmer Jessica Hardy missed the '08 Olympics because of a nutritional supplement, and now, she may also miss the London Games. This is bullshit!...

NFL Pension Decided By Bigamy Laws
A judge ruled that the pension for former Eagles RB Tom Sullivan goes to his first wife rather than his second, because he didn't bother divorcing in between. This is why Vegas and Utah will never get pro teams. [Tribune]...

Ugly Pot Calls Ugly Kettle Ugly
Joakim Noah says Kevin Garnett is "ugly."...

Radio Show Sends Random Listener To Bristol To Ask Trey Wingo About "Radio Raheem"
"Clemson Tom" got into the ESPN offices with zero credentials. He was recorded asking a gate attendant if Wingo, whom he described as a "wiry little fella," is in the building. Giggling excerpts from 1010 Sports after the jump....

How To Win While Losing, And Vice Versa: Zab Judah Says Goodbye
NEWARK—Losing is half of boxing. The more interesting half. Some losers are tragic, searching for something they'll never find. Some are noble. But only one loser can do it quite like Zab....

Is Jim McMahon's Brain The NFL's Worst Public-Relations Nightmare Or Best Apologist?
Back in his playing days, the only quarterback who has ever led the Chicago Bears to a Super Bowl victory was feisty enough to wear a headband when told he couldn't. Probably a four-game suspension today....

Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Two Top-10 matchups: TCU at Utah (um, "national championship" atmosphere?) and Alabama at LSU. Two Top-4 teams playing: Oregon hosts Washington and Boise State hosts Hawaii. And, Nebraska makes its last conference-rival visit to Iowa Fucking State....

C.J. Spiller Is Prepared For His First Buffalo Winter
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Freddie Mitchell Says McNabb Should Have Been Benched. In The Super Bowl.
Memories get hazy with time. For example, FredEx thinks he was once a real NFL player. He also thinks Mike Shanahan has the right idea, and Andy Reid should have sat McNabb down in the most important game of their lives....

Mike Shanahan Thinks Donovan McNabb Is Out Of Shape And Gimpy
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Mike Shanahan tries to justify Rex Grossman....

An 86-Yard Punt Becomes Possible With Gale Force Winds (Update)
Last Tuesday's Washington-Huron playoff game featured this ridiculous punt from Huron's Derek Zwanziger. After a real boomer, the ball rolls, and rolls, then rolls a little more until Zwanziger's netted an 86-yarder. South Dakota high school football and science rule. [Argus Leader]...

Let The Pouty Donovan McNabb Show Begin!
Almost always liked Donovan McNabb while an Eagle despite realizing, early on, that he was the king of pouty, passive-aggressive, veiled digs at people - disguised as saying "the right thing" - when he didn't get his way....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Pape Sy
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the occasional feature wherein we examine fan-made video love letters to athletes and their wildly inappropriate soundtracks. It's been a while, but we're back with a doozy: Atlanta Hawks rookie Pape Sy set to some opera....

The People Have Spoken, And They Have Said, "Hannah Storm Always Dresses Mad Slutty LOL"
Click to view Last night, Hannah Storm was on hand for Heat-Celtics game coverage and wore a dress and boots. Hannah Storm wears dresses and boots quite often, but it led to an assortment of heavy-breathing on Twitter....

Death Row Inmate's Last Words: "Boomer Sooner"
Jeffrey Landrigan was put to death last night, but not before saluting his favorite football team. He's not an OU grad though; like most Sooners fans, he never went to college. Hope his pen pals aren't still waiting for replies. [Arizona Republic]...

Soccer Player Has Heart Attack During Match
Miguel Garcia, a midfielder for Segunda Divsion side Salamanca, is recovering in hospital today after suffering a suspected heart attack during a match against Real Betis on Sunday....

Ryan Howard Finally Not Worth $125 Million To The Philadelphia Phillies?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....